


Part of Your World

by theoofoof



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Family, Gen, Parent Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-04-30 19:38:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 48,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14504067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoofoof/pseuds/theoofoof
Summary: A tragic event leaves a lasting impact on the lives of Rafael and Olivia...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been in my head since before Barba left SVU but it got shoved on the back-burner while I wrote The Rediscovered Country. Thanks to motherbearof03 for putting up with my constant ramblings, questions and frettings about titles! She deserves a medal.

As the silver Ford Taurus cruised along the long road that ran the length of the East River, the driver glanced in the rearview mirror and caught the eye of the young occupant in the back. She flashed a smile.

“Tonight was fun,” she said, before turning her attention back to the road. They’d been out for dinner and to the movies and were now making their way home. With her busy work schedule, it had been a long time since they’d spent any quality time together. She felt guilty for working so much, for not being around, but as a single mom, it was necessary. Their outing to see _The Greatest Showman_ had been a much overdue chance to reconnect; for her to catch up on the news from school and anything else that her child felt like sharing with her.

“Yeah. It was cool. Thanks for taking me,” her passenger replied, still chomping on the super-sized popcorn from the movie theatre. Given the large meal they’d eaten and the amount of ice-cream and candy they’d also bought, it was hardly a surprise the buttery treat had gone unfinished.

“Pass me some popcorn, will you?” She reached behind blindly, just about managing to scoop up some kernels without dropping any on the floor. “I’d say we could do it again soon, but…” She trailed off with a shrug.

“…it depends on work,” her young passenger finished for her. “I know.”

“I love you, baby. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“I know. I love you too.”

“So, what was your favourite part of the movie?” she asked, returning both hands to the wheel to move into the next lane.

“Maybe the part where-” Suddenly, a bright light flashed through the window. The shining beams got bigger, the vehicle they were coming from getting closer. “Mom, watch out!”

Suddenly there was an almighty bang; the sound of screeching brakes and breaking glass filling the air. As the airbags deployed with a pop, the car spun towards the guardrail between the carriageways. It ploughed through the barrier and into the path of an SUV coming the other way. The noise was deafening, like the roar of an aeroplane at take-off. Then there was nothing. No spinning, no noise. Nothing. Just the creeping darkness.

* * *

“Air 14, responding to the location of MVA on FDR Drive," the helicopter pilot radioed his current location, while his co-pilot studied the scene below as they circled. "Be advised, rescue vehicles and patrol are on site. We have three vehicles, and extrication is underway."

“Copy that, Air 14. Extrication is underway. Maintain air presence. We don’t need press helicopters crowding our airspace," the dispatcher relayed.

“Understood.” The pilot circled again, casting a look at the ground below. "We've got a real mess down there. You might want to send more ground support to this location. Traffic is backing up quickly. Additional emergency vehicles are having difficulty reaching this location." Even at this hour of the evening, the roads were busy both in both directions; into and out of the city.

“Copy that, Air 14.” came the reply. “Additional patrol support is rolling.”

“What a mess," the co-pilot stated, binoculars in hand. "That is one mangled Ford Taurus. No way they're getting out of there in one piece."

"Let's hope for the best,” the pilot said, keeping one eye on the ground, another on his instruments.

On the ground, Detective Phillips approached the accident scene. He flashed his badge at the FDNY and EMS personnel as he passed. As he cleared the side of the fire truck all the air in his lungs left. He had to bend forward at the waist, while the street and buildings around him spun slowly.

"Holy mother," he muttered quietly. He ran his hands through his hair, fisting them as he straightened up. He looked over the mangled remains of the car and grimaced; it was not a pretty sight. The driver’s side door was crushed in, bending the car into almost a v shape and all its windows were smashed. The light pole had stopped its trajectory, preventing it from ending up on the sidewalk. Working traffic, you saw a lot of accidents and this was up there with some of the worst he’d seen.

Paramedics and firemen were on scene, attempting to extract the victims. Phillips winced at the eerie sound of the gas-operated saw as it began cutting through the metal of the front pillars to remove the roof.

“Detective, I think you should see this.” A younger patrol officer jogged over, carrying an iPad. “I was running the names from the licenses, searching for next of kin, and… Well, see for yourself.” He handed the device to the detective.

Scanning the details on the screen, Phillips’ face fell as his eyes were drawn to a familiar name. “Oh hell.” He looked once more at the scene of devastation in front of him. “Listen up everyone!” he called, trying to make himself heard over the whirring and grinding of the machinery. “Everything here needs to be done by the book. Every I dotted, and every T crossed. Do I make myself clear?” He wouldn’t tell them that this involved a member of the law and order community – they didn’t need to know that yet, but they did need to make sure that there were no cock-ups. If someone was at fault here, Phillips knew that the powers that be would want to see them punished.

The assembled officers and rescuers nodded sombrely and returned to their tasks as Detective Phillips turned back to the patrol officer. “When the victims are clear of the vehicle I want CSU to go over both it, and the wider scene with a fine-toothed comb.” Hopefully, EMS and FDNY wouldn’t mangle the evidence too much. “We cannot afford to miss anything here,” he added.

The patrol officer nodded, and Phillips made his way back behind the crime scene tape. He had some calls to make. Families needed to be notified, but he would prefer to break the news from the relative quietness of his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger - I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can.


	2. Chapter 2

The shrill ringing of her cell phone relentlessly permeated Olivia’s deep sleep. Groaning, she rolled over and reached out blindly for her phone, unable for several moments to force her eyes open. Limbs weighted and dull, she pushed herself into a half-sitting position and glanced at the caller ID. Her eyes took a few moments to focus on the brightness of the display against the darkness of her bedroom before answering.

“Rafa?” Sweeping her hair out of her face, she looked at the clock on her nightstand. 1:13 am. She’d been asleep less than three hours, after coming off an almost 16-hour shift.

“Liv…”

His subdued tone made her sit up straight. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m at Bellevue Hospital.” The line went silent for a moment and Olivia wondered if he was still there. She was just about to ask if he was when she heard him speak again. “Can you come?”

“Is it about the Stephen’s case?” Their latest victim, a 19-year-old from Hudson University, was currently sedated in the ICU there after being raped and severely beaten.

“No… it’s… it’s personal.” His voice hitched as she spoke, thick with emotion.

“Are you okay?” she asked, assuming he had been injured in some way. There was a deafening silence on the other end. “Rafa?” Olivia pressed, trying to subdue the feeling of panic that was swelling up inside her.

“I… I need you, Liv.”

He didn’t need to say anymore. She was already clambering out of bed. He was her best friend and he was clearly having some sort of crisis. After all the support he’d give her throughout the whole Sheila Porter fiasco, the least she could do was return the favour.

“I’m on my way.”

Hanging up, she grabbed the first jumper and pair of jeans she could find and began dressing. She quickly ran a brush through her hair and headed out into the living area. Thankfully, Noah was staying overnight with Lucy, so she didn’t have to worry about taking him with her or dragging his poor nanny across town in the middle of the night. She pulled on her boots, holstered her gun and donned her badge – more out of habit than of need – and grabbed a jacket from the rack by the door on her way out.

* * *

Olivia strode into the trauma centre and glanced around the waiting room, searching the patients for Rafael. When she didn’t see him, she approached the reception desk.

“Lieutenant Benson, NYPD.” She flashed her shield. “I’m looking for Rafael Barba.”

The receptionist tapped on the keyboard and frowned. “I’m sorry. We don’t seem to have a patient by that name.”

She plucked her phone from her pocket, opened recent calls and hit Rafa’s number. It just rang out.

“He’s not answering. Could you check again please, for anyone with that surname?” Olivia asked. “Maybe Lucia?” If he wasn’t the patient, then perhaps something had happened to his mother.

Pressing her lips together in a tight smile, the receptionist complied. “Nothing. Sorry.”

“But I-“

“Liv!”

Olivia’s head snapped towards the sound of her name. Rafael stood in the middle of the corridor leading away from the waiting area. The hustle and bustle of the trauma centre faded out as she focused her attention on him.

“Rafa!” she breathed, offering a small wave of acknowledgement to the receptionist before rushing towards her friend. As she approached him, she noticed his hair was unbrushed, tufts sticking out in various directions and there was a hint of stubble on his jaw. He was wearing jeans and a wrinkled t-shirt. His eyes were red and there were dark circles underneath them. The sight of him looking so dishevelled gave Olivia pause; he was always so well-put-together. But he appeared to be unhurt, or at least not seriously injured anyway, much to Olivia’s relief.

“Thanks for coming.”

She raised her arms and pulled him into a hug. His arms circled her waist loosely and he rested his head on her shoulder, accepting the comfort she was offering. They didn’t hug often, although Olivia had to admit that during recent weeks there had been a few occasions where they had, and this definitely felt like a situation where one was needed. While she didn’t yet know the reason he had summoned her, it was clear he was struggling.

They stood, embracing in the middle of the corridor for several moments until Rafael drew back. He took her hand – another thing that had recently begun happening – and led her down the corridor. They walked for a little while before Rafael took them through a set of double doors into a treatment area. There were eight treatment bays along one wall and three private rooms along the other. They walked, hand-in-hand, to the middle of the three rooms, stopping outside the window.

Lying in the bed in the centre of the room, was a young girl of no more than twelve or thirteen. She was sleeping, hooked up to a machine to monitor her vitals, but not seriously injured. However, it was clear she’d been involved in some kind of accident. There were cuts and bruises on her face and her arm was secured in a temporary sling.

Olivia glanced back at Rafael, who was still clinging tightly to her hand. His stare was fixed on the girl, his eyes full of warmth and love. Her mind began to race. Who was this girl? And why was Rafael so affected by her plight? She couldn’t be… no. Surely, he would have said something. He wouldn’t have kept something like that from her, would he? They were best friends, maybe even on the verge of something more. She pushed the feelings of hurt aside temporarily, refocusing her attention on the situation at hand.

“Rafa, who-?”

“Mia. Her name is Mia.” He met Olivia’s eyes reflected in the glass. He knew she had questions. Which was to be expected really, he hadn’t exactly been forthcoming when he’d dragged her out of bed in the middle of the night. Yet she’d come anyway because he said he needed her. Just as he knew she would. “She’s thirteen. Just last month.”

“Is she… is she yours?” She liked to think she’d know if he had a child, that he wouldn’t have kept something like that from her – he was her best friend after all. But she couldn’t discount the possibility, so she had to ask.

“What? No!” Rafael barked out a laugh. She couldn’t really believe that, could she? That if he had a child he wouldn’t tell her. But then, he supposed he couldn’t blame her, he hadn’t given her an explanation for why he was at the hospital and he’d kept secrets from her in the past, Ashtonja Abreu being one. He couldn’t recall actually mentioning Mia to her either, come to think of it. “She’s my cousin,” he continued. “Well technically, her mother Maria is my cousin but…” He trailed off, it didn’t matter what he called Mia. She was family. “They were driving on FDR Drive when they were hit by a drunk driver. The car crashed through the median into the path of another car travelling in the opposite direction.”

“Jesus! She’s lucky to be alive.”

Rafael breathed out a shaky sigh. “Yeah. She’s battered and bruised. She had a pretty bad laceration on her left side that they’ve stitched. Her left arm is broken, and she’s got a concussion from where she hit her head. She’s been asleep since I got here; the nurses say that’s to be expected, given the pain meds she’s on.”

“And her mother?”

“Maria’s still in surgery. I don’t know how bad it was… no-one’s telling me anything.” There was frustration and anger in his tone and he was as close to breaking point as she’d ever seen him. The last time was when he’d turned up on her doorstep close to tears after the death of his grandmother. She’d invited him in and sat with him, consoled him, as he drowned in sorrows in the bottle of scotch that she had taken to keeping in her kitchen for the nights when they would prep cases together. Scotch wouldn’t be helpful now though – he needed to be alert and awake – besides, she doubted the hospital had a licensed bar.

“Why don’t we go and find some coffee, hmm?” she suggested. Knowing him, he’d probably already drunk the equivalent of a whole pot, but Olivia doubted another hit of caffeine would do him any harm, and the walk might do him good. “You look like you could use some.” She could too after working a near 12-hour shift and only getting less than three hours sleep.

“I can’t leave her…”

“She’s sleeping,” Olivia reminded him. “Besides, the cafeteria isn’t far.” It was just down the corridor. When you spent half your life waiting in hospitals for nurses and doctors to finish examining victims, so you could take statements, you learned quickly where to go for a hit of caffeine. “We’ll be back before you know it,” she assured.

“The nurses did say she’d probably sleep for a little while yet,” he reasoned, trying to convince himself it was okay to leave for a little while.

She tugged on his hand, pulling him up from the chair. “Come on. The sooner we go, the sooner we’ll be back." 

After a quick stop at the nurses’ station to let them know they were stepping out, Rafael fell into step beside Olivia. As they walked towards the cafeteria, he reached for her hand again, interlacing their fingers. The next few hours and days would most likely be filled with uncertainty, but he felt stronger facing it with her by his side.


	3. Chapter 3

Waiting was something Olivia usually considered herself quite good at. When you had a pretty headstrong five-year-old at home and dealt with reluctant victims and uncooperative suspects on a regular basis at work – not to mention a particularly stubborn ADA – a good degree of patience was necessary. Olivia had patience. She had it by the bucket-load. And yet, as she sat by Mia’s bedside with Rafael, waiting for news of his cousin Maria, she could feel it running out.

The muscles in Rafael’s arm were tense under her fingertips, bunched and getting tighter as time dragged on without any news. It had been almost three hours since she’d arrived at the hospital, and Maria had already been in surgery for at least an hour by then. Periodically, Rafael would shift position, unable to settle, fidgeting with his watch or the thin, gold chain that hung around his neck – something Olivia would never have expected him to wear given the persona that his expensive suits portrayed.

When the door had opened about an hour ago, he had sat forward on the edge of his seat, expecting the doctor. When a nurse entered just to check Mia’s vitals, he flopped back in his seat, visibly deflated. By the time the doctor did arrive, almost an hour later, Rafael had taken to pacing the small hospital room.

“Excuse me, Mr Barba? I’m Doctor Anderson, I’ve been overseeing Maria Alvarez’s care. I’m told you’re her cousin?”

Olivia moved to stand by Rafael and he grasped her hand tightly for support.

“Yes,” Rafael replied. “How is she?”

“Perhaps we should step outside,” the doctor suggested, indicating a sleeping Mia.

Rafael followed him into the corridor, pulling Olivia behind him. Almost as soon as they were out of the room, he was pressing for answers. “Well?”

The doctor ran a hand through his short brown hair; he looked worn, his tie askew and the beginnings of five o’clock shadow on his face. “Your cousin suffered some considerable injuries from the crash. There was a lot of internal damage.” He ran his hands over his face. “I’m sorry Mr Barba, there was very little we could do. Her injuries were just too severe. I’m afraid Maria died on the operating table.”

At the doctor’s words, there was a sudden rush in Rafael’s ears, drowning out the other sounds on the ward. The colour drained from his face and there was a throbbing in his chest; he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He opened his mouth to gulp in air and a choked sob escaped from him. That first lonely sob was like a dam breaking inside of him and he couldn't have held back the rest even if he had tried. His body began to shake, his chest heaving as he broke down.

He staggered backwards, and Olivia dropped his hand, grabbing his shoulders to steady him. She manoeuvred them to the chairs, and rested her hand on his back, feeling the tremor of the sobs as they wracked his body. She rubbed her hand in soothing circles, offering a modicum of comfort despite knowing that nothing she could say or do could take away his pain. She bit her bottom lip to stop herself succumbing to the emotion that her friend was experiencing.

“I’m sorry, Rafa. God, I am so sorry." She stifled a sob but couldn't stop a tear from breaking free and travelling down one cheek.

He lifted his head to look at her. His eyes were dark with emotion, but it was the despair that she saw in his gaze that made her open her arms for him. He leaned into her embrace, clinging to her as he cried, his hands bunching in the fabric of her jumper. She held on and rocked him back and forth gently, allowing her fingers to run through his hair.

It was going to be a long night, followed by an even longer few days, but Olivia would help him get through this. She didn't know how just yet, but she would find a way.

* * *

The incessant beeping in the room permeated the deepest sleep that Mia thought she’d ever had. She tried to lift her arm to switch off the alarm, but it was so heavy she couldn’t move. She fought against the sleep that was trying to pull her back under and opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was hospital machinery. ‘Well that explains the beeping,’ she thought. ‘But how did I get here?’ Rolling her head to the side, her gaze fell on the figure sitting in a chair at her bedside. It took a few moments for her clouded brain to recognise him.

“Raf?” Her throat was dry, so it came out as a rough croak.

Air rushed from Rafael’s lungs at the sound of Mia’s voice. She’d been asleep for almost 6 hours because of the strength of the medication she’d been prescribed, and he’d been beginning to worry there was an underlying problem from her head injury that was preventing her from waking. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. “Hi.”

Mia hissed in pain as she tried to sit up, feeling a pull down the left side of her torso. Her vision blurred too and a nauseating feeling rose in her stomach as her body protested the sudden movement

“Don’t… do that,” he cautioned gently, placing a hand on her arm. “You’ve had quite a few stitches in your left side.”

“What…” Her throat hurt, throbbing with the effort to speak. Rafael reached for the jug of water that was on the table and poured her a glass. He held a straw to her lips and helped her take small sips. The coolness of the water helped. She swallowed a couple more times. “What happened?”

“There was a car accident,” Rafael explained. “You don’t remember?”

She shook her head slowly, conscious of the dizziness that could occur should she move too quickly. The last thing she remembered was being in the car with her mom, but she couldn’t recall why.

“The doctors said that might happen. Speaking of which, they’ll want to know you’re awake.” He stood, dropping a kiss on her head. “I’ll be back in a bit, okay?”

Rafael closed the door to her room behind him, leaning back on it with a sigh. He was a coward, wanting to get out of there before she could ask about her mom. He wasn’t ready to have that conversation with her. Not yet.

After telling the nurses that Mia was awake, Rafael took a seat in one of the hard, plastic chairs in the corridor outside, while the doctors checked her over. He was still sitting there when Olivia, who had stepped out to call Fin and ask him to cover for her if Dodds came by the station, returned carrying two cups of coffee and a paper bag from the hospital cafeteria.

“She okay?” Olivia nodded at Mia’s room, handing a cup off to him. She hadn’t expected to find Rafael outside in the corridor. He’d not left his cousin’s side since they’d returned from the cafeteria about three o’clock that morning.

“She’s awake. The doctors have been in, said she’s fine, all things considered. The nurses are just making her more comfortable, helping her to the bathroom…” He took a sip from the steaming cup and dropped his head back against the wall. He wasn’t sure another coffee was the best idea – he was already wired beyond belief, but he couldn’t crash yet; there were things he needed to do. “I… uh… I need to call my mom. And…” he breathed out a sigh… “I need to tell Mia about hers.”

“Rafa, I’m sure the doctors or nurses could–”

Rafael held up a hand to quieten her. “The doctors think it would be better coming from someone she knows.”

“And there’s no-one else?” Olivia didn’t like the thought of Rafael taking on that responsibility if it could be avoided. No one should have to deliver a blow like that, especially not to a child.

“No.” He shook his head. “Maria was an only child, like me. Her father died almost five years ago and her mother passed away last year. Breast cancer. Mia’s father was a deadbeat, he flaked off when she was barely six-months-old. She’s not seen him since. And now… her mom.”

Olivia’s hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, that poor girl.”

Rafael nodded. She’d had a tough life and it was about to get tougher. “So, it’s down to me or my mom to break the news and – I love my mother Liv, I do, but she’s far too melodramatic for something like this.”

Olivia didn’t feel that Rafael was necessarily the best choice either – he was too emotionally involved – but she thought better of voicing her opinion. Opening the bag from the cafeteria, she held it out him. “Blueberry muffin?”

He reached for one but movement from the corner of his eye distracted him. The nurses were leaving Mia’s room. He suddenly felt queasy and waved off Liv’s offer of food. “Maybe in a bit.”

“Mr Barba?” One of the nurses approached him. “You can go in now and see Mia now.”

When Rafael didn’t respond, Olivia nodded to the nurse. “Thank you,” She turned to see his gaze was fixed resolutely on the floor, clearly struggling. Standing, she placed a hand on his shoulder. “Rafa?”

He pressed his lips together, before looking up at her. He shook his head. “I don’t know how to do this.” He knew what he had to do, but he couldn’t fathom how to actually do it. How was he supposed to tell a thirteen-year-old girl that her mother, the only parent she had, was dead?

“Nobody ever does,” she told him, her hand on his shoulder. Even after twenty years, death notifications were one of the hardest parts of her job. And that was with people she didn’t even know. She couldn’t imagine having to notify a friend or colleague; someone she cared about. “But I’m here. I’ve got you.” She couldn’t tell him that it would all be okay. It wouldn’t. She couldn’t take away his pain either, but she would help him bear it any way she could. She drew in a breath, letting it out slowly before standing. “Sitting out here isn’t going to make it any easier.”

Rafael sighed. She was right, of course, but that didn’t make him any more eager to walk back into that hospital room. He stood reluctantly, turned and pushed open the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Mia's head turned at the sound of the door opening. The edges of her vision blurred a little and she bit back a groan, reminding herself once again to move more slowly. She’d never had a concussion before, but it was quickly becoming apparent that it was not an experience she would like to repeat.  

“Hey,” greeted Rafael, entering the room. He sank down into the chair at the side of her bed. Olivia hovered by the door, not wanting to crowd the situation. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Sore… confused. I remember being in the car with Mom. We’d been to the movies… I think,” Flashes of the previous evening were coming back, but they were fuzzy and disjointed. “We were eating popcorn, and then it’s all blank.”

“It doesn’t matter. Don’t try and force it.” In all honesty, Rafael thought it might be better if she didn’t remember the details of what happened.

“Where’s Mom? When can I see her?”

Rafael swallowed, leaning forward to place his hand over hers where it rested on the bed. “Mia.”

He opened his mouth, but the words just wouldn’t come. He didn’t have it in him to shatter her world, even though he knew she needed to be told. He didn't know how to do this. He wasn't trained for this. He turned to Liv, eyes pleading for something, anything that could help him.

She stepped forward, out of the shadows of the doorway and neared the bed. “Mia? My name is Lieutenant Benson. I’m afraid…” she swallowed, quashing her emotions as she’d been trained to do in these situations. “I’m afraid I have some bad news about your mom.”

Suddenly Mia’s palms were sweaty. She rubbed her free hand against the bed sheets. Her heart thudded painfully in her chest while her mouth went bone dry. And she knew. It was there, in the drawn, pale look that the Lieutenant was giving her. She turned to Rafael, desperately searching his face for some indication that there had been a mistake, that what she was being told wasn’t true. “Raf…?”

In the end, with Mia’s wide, watery eyes pleading with him, he couldn’t allow Olivia to deliver the blow. It wasn’t right, but he had to do it, no matter how hard it was to get the words out. His jaw clenched, and he let out a shaky sigh. “I’m sorry, Mia _._ Your mom’s injuries… they were just too severe.”

For several long seconds, Mia forgot how to breathe. It was the hand of the Lieutenant on her shoulder, squeezing at the same time her chest started to burn that had her inhaling finally. She felt her eyes beginning to burn. Seeing her break, Rafael moved quickly and gathered her in his arms. He didn’t hold her too tightly, conscious of her injuries, but she burrowed into his chest, fisting her hand into his shirt.

As she watched Rafael comfort a devastated Mia, Olivia was thrust back in time seventeen years, to when Cragen had called her into his office to deliver similar news to her. She was much older and didn’t have the best relationship with her mother, but it was still hard. She couldn’t imagine how much worse it must be for Mia, so young and, from Rafael had told her, extremely close to her mom. She would need all the support she could get.

With a nod to Rafael, Olivia stepped outside to give the two of them some space to grieve for their loved one together. Shared memories, comfort and patience. That was how the two of them would begin to heal.

* * *

Olivia gave Rafael and Mia half an hour, which she used to visit the small shop and purchase some toiletries, drinks and snacks for Mia. She didn’t know her interests, so bought a few different ones that looked appropriate for a girl of her age.

Returning to the trauma centre, she tapped lightly on the window to Mia’s room. When Rafael looked up, she waved at him to join her outside. When he did, she handed him the bag.

“I picked up a couple of things for Mia.”

“Thanks.” He reached into his back pocket for his wallet. “How much do I owe you?”

Olivia waved him away. “Don’t worry about it.” She glanced at her watch. “Look, I need to get to the precinct. Will you be okay?”

“Yeah. I don’t think it’s quite sunk in yet. For either of us.”

“It’ll take time,” she agreed, squeezing his hand gently. “I’ll call you later, okay?” She turned to leave but Rafael’s voice stopped her.

“Liv?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you…” He shook his head, dismissing the idea. “Forget it.”

“What?” She placed a hand on his arm. He looked so lost. “Whatever I can do to help, I will.”

“I was going to ask if you’d call at my mom’s place on your way to the precinct. I don’t want her to hear the news on the phone, I’d rather there was someone with her. I’d go myself but…”

“… you want to stay here with Mia.” Olivia finished his sentence for him.

He nodded. “She’s inconsolable… I can’t just leave her right now.”

“I’ll tell your Mom,” she agreed, placing a hand on his arm. She couldn’t say it was something she *wanted* to do, but she would. For him. It was understandable that he didn’t want to leave the hospital. Mia needed him. “Do you need me to call anyone else? Carmen? The DA?”

He shook his head. “No, I’ve sent Carmen a text and asked her to rearrange my day.” Thankfully, he wasn’t in court that day; but he did have a couple of meetings with defence attorneys that needed to be rescheduled. “I’ll call Jack later, but I suspect he’ll already have heard about it through the grapevine.”  News like this travelled fast in the law enforcement and judicial communities of New York.

“Okay. I’d better get going.” She pulled him in for a quick hug. “I’ll let you know when I’ve spoken to your mom. Call me if you need anything, okay?”

He pulled back but didn’t relinquish his hold on her completely, his hands resting on her waist, hers on his shoulders. “I will. Thanks, Liv.”

“Anytime Rafa.” The urge to kiss his cheek was strong, but she resisted, chastising herself. Now was not the time to be thinking about that. She stepped back from his hold and, securing her bag on her shoulder, turned and made her way out of the trauma centre.

* * *

Olivia stood on the doorstep of a small townhouse in the Bronx. The houses on the street were packed closely together, neighbours on each side. There wasn’t much of a front yard, but the few flowerbeds were immaculately tended. She wondered if it was Rafael’s childhood home; she could easily picture him sitting on the stoop with his head in a book or playing catch in the quiet street with his cousin.

Taking a breath, she knocked three times and waited patiently as the sound of footsteps drew closer and locks clicked on the other side. The door opened to reveal a short, stocky man, wearing a hastily-fastened bathrobe.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Olivia said, double checking the address Rafael had written down for her. “I must have the wrong house.”

The man glanced down at the shield clipped to Olivia’s waist. “NYPD? Who are you looking for?”

“Lucia Barba.”

“No, this is her place.” He stepped back allowing Olivia to enter and indicated to a door on her right. “If you wait in there, I’ll go and get her.”

Olivia entered the living room, hoping that her facial expression didn’t reflect the shock and confusion she felt. It appeared Lucia Barba had a boyfriend. That was not something Rafael had mentioned, which led her to assume he didn’t know. She was fairly sure she’d have heard about it if he did. The previous February, his mother had received an anonymous Valentine’s Day card and he’d obsessed over it for the whole week until it had been revealed that it had come from one of her fifth-graders. Olivia smiled at the memory – Rafael had been a nervous wreck, imagining all sorts.

At the sound of approaching footsteps, Olivia schooled her features. The door opened, and Lucia Barba burst in. She was in a similar state of undress as the man who had answered the door and Olivia felt bad for having interrupted their morning.

“Sergeant Benson!” exclaimed Lucia. “Goodness, when Micky said the police were here, I didn’t expect it to be you.”

“It’s nice to see you again, Mrs Barba. And it’s Lieutenant Benson now.”

“Oh of course. Rafi did tell me you’d been promoted.” She waved over the man who had let Olivia in. “Micky, this is Lieutenant Benson. She works with my Rafi. She’s the one who drives him crazy.”

Micky held out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”   

“You too,” Olivia replied, shaking hands with him.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me.” He kissed Lucia on the cheek. “I should probably go and put some clothes on.”

Lucia cast a sideways look at Olivia, a guilty expression on her face. “You won’t tell Rafi, will you? I’ll tell him eventually, but… well, you know how he can be…”

She laid a hand on the older woman’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”  Lucia smiled; she seemed genuinely happy and Olivia hated the fact that she was about to ruin that. Notifications were definitely harder to make when you knew the people involved. “Actually Lucia, Rafael is why I’m here.”

Her smile faltered. “Is he okay? He’s not in trouble, is he?” When he’d been suspended the previous year, Rafael wouldn’t tell her why. He probably wouldn’t have even told her about the suspension had she not let herself into his apartment unannounced one afternoon, to find him lounging in sweats and a hoodie. She hoped whatever he had done then hadn’t come back to bite him.

“No, no. Nothing like that.” She gestured to a nearby armchair. “Mrs Barba, maybe you should sit down?”

“Okay.” Lucia dragged out the word, as she sat down, Olivia taking the chair next to her. When no explanation for her visit was forthcoming, Lucia laid a hand on her arm. “You’re making me nervous, Lieutenant.”

“I’m sorry. This is just… harder than I thought it would be.” She took a breath. “Your niece, Maria and her daughter Mia were involved in a road traffic accident last night.”

Lucia gasped, and Olivia’s free hand moved to cover hers where it still lay on her arm.

“They were taken to Bellevue but unfortunately Maria suffered massive trauma… she passed away during surgery.”

“No,” she rasped, her eyes wet with tears.

Olivia bit her lip as she felt her own tears resurface. “I’m very sorry, Mrs Barba.”

“Mia? What about Mia?”

“Mia is okay. She bruised and has a broken arm, but she’ll be okay. Rafael is at the hospital with her.”

“How did he take the news?”

“He’s…” Olivia hesitated. She didn’t want to lie, but she didn’t want to add to Lucia’s own grief. “He’s about as well as can be expected, I suppose. He’s been at the hospital all night. He wouldn’t leave Mia’s side.”

“He and Maria were close. They were both only children and she was only two years younger than him. My sister, Isabella lived down the street and they used to play together every day. After college, Maria moved to Michigan for work, so we didn’t see her very often; we got pictures of Mia when she was born and sent her gifts for her birthday and Christmas, but that was it. When Mia was three, she moved back here, and she and Rafi picked up their friendship as if they’d never been apart. He and Mia bonded from day one; I think it was their mutual love of snacks,” smiled Lucia.

Olivia listened patiently to Lucia’s memories of her niece. Not spending much time with Mia until she was three certainly helped explain why Rafael found it easier to deal with Noah now. He didn’t have any experience with babies, but he had some tricks up his sleeve when it came to young children.

Lucia clapped her hands on her knees. “Right,” she said, standing up. “I’ll get dressed and then I’ll get to the hospital. Send Rafi home for some sleep.”

Olivia stood, nodding along with Lucia’s idea. Rafael desperately needed to go home. He needed to sleep, a shower and a change of clothes. Probably wouldn’t do him any harm to have a shave too. But he was being his usual stubborn self. If anyone could get him to leave Mia’s side, it would be Lucia.

“Do you want me to wait for you?” she offered, as she and Lucia walked back through to the hallway. “I can drop you back at the hospital on my way to the station.”

“No, that’s okay. Micky will drive me,” she assured her, opening the front door. “Thank you for being there for Rafi. You look like you could do with getting some sleep too.”

Olivia scoffed. “Unfortunately, I have to go to work. Tell Rafael I’ll pop back to the hospital later.” She stepped over the threshold and turned back to Lucia. placing a hand on her arm. “I'm sorry for your loss.”


	5. Chapter 5

The rest of the day passed slowly for Olivia. While her team were out canvassing witnesses for their latest case, she was stuck in her office signing off on reports, planning rosters, and approving timesheets and leave requests. If there was one part of this job she hated, it was the administrative side. Especially on a day like today when she needed something more taxing to occupy her mind and keep it from wandering. The paperwork wasn’t holding her attention at all; she either zoned out due to lack of sleep or became distracted, worrying about Rafael, Mia and Lucia

A text from Rafael about halfway through the morning let her know that his mother and Mia had ganged up on him and sent him home. She’d replied telling him to get some rest and she’d speak to him later.

She walked down the street for lunch, hoping the fresh air and the coffee she picked up from the corner cart, would wake her up a little. It did, for about an hour and then she was flagging again. She looked at the stack of reports that were still waiting for her and sighed, cursing herself for letting them pile up.

She diligently worked through what was left, stopping only occasionally to answer a question from one of the team or to check her emails. Just before three o’clock, her cell phone chimed. Rafael was on his way back to the hospital. Olivia did a quick mental calculation. He’d been away from the hospital for five hours if that. She wished he’d taken longer to himself. Still, it was better than nothing she supposed.

Signing her final report, Olivia looked at her watch. It was almost four. She’d had more than enough for today. Standing, she moved to the doorway looking out into the squad room.

“Fin?” Her sergeant looked up. “You okay if I head out early?” Olivia asked. “I want to go home to see Noah and then call at the hospital and check on Barba and his cousin.”

She’d filled them in on the events of the previous night when she’d arrived. All of them were saddened to hear of Rafael’s loss, but none overly seemed surprised that Olivia had spent the night sat with him at the hospital. This had given her pause for thought. Lucia hadn’t questioned it either; she’d just assumed Olivia’s lack of sleep was because she’d been with him. She wasn’t quite sure what to think about that, so had filed it away to consider at a later date.

“Sure. No problem.”

Olivia reached around the door frame to the coat hooks for her jacket and bag.

“Tell Barba we’re thinking of him, yeah?” called Rollins, as Olivia passed her desk, pulling on her coat.

“Yeah, I’ll light a candle for them at Mass,” Carisi added, as he hung up the phone with forensics.

“Thanks, guys. I’m sure he’ll appreciate that.”

* * *

After changing into something more comfortable and quickly catching-up with Noah – promising him he could stay up until she came home, so she could tuck him in, Olivia made her way back to the hospital. She arrived to find Mia had been moved out of the trauma centre and onto a ward, so she made her way up to the third floor.

Stepping out of the elevator, she spotted Rafael and Lucia stood at the nurses’ station. They were deep in conversation with the doctor and charge nurse, but Rafael spotted her. He nodded at her and indicated she go on into Mia’s room.

Knocking lightly, Olivia popped her head around the door. Mia was sat up in bed reading the latest edition of _Girls’ Life_.  The table across the bed was littered with the teen magazines, drinks bottles and snacks Olivia had bought her earlier in the day. Olivia took a moment to look at Mia. She seemed brighter than she had when Olivia had left her that morning. She’d regained some of her colour, and the cuts and bruises now didn’t stand out as much against her olive skin. Her long, dark hair had been washed and she’d changed out of the hospital gown into some pyjamas.

Mia glanced up from her magazine. She recognised the woman at the door. Now if only the fog in her head could clear long enough for her to remember her name. “Lieutenant… Benson, right?”

“Yeah,” she confirmed, entering the room fully. “But you can call me Olivia.”

“Olivia?” Recognition dawned on Mia’s face and she snapped the magazine closed. “Oh, you’re Liv!” she exclaimed as the older woman took a seat in the chair next to the bed.

“I…” Olivia wasn’t quite sure what to say but Mia’s enthusiasm ensured she didn’t have to reply.

“Raf talks about you all the time,” she said.

Olivia’s eyes widened. “He… he does?”

The young girl nodded. “Mom used to say…” her breath hitched at the mention of her mother.

Olivia’s heart ached for the young girl, seeing tears in her eyes. She reached for the box of tissues that sat on the table and passed it to her.

Mia smiled sadly as she plucked a tissue from the top of the box. “Thanks.”

“You know you drive Raf crazy, right?” she said to Olivia when she’d composed herself a little.

“So I’ve been told.” Olivia smiled wryly, recalling the brief conversation she’d had with Lucia when they first met. “In my defence, Rafa has been known to drive me a little crazy too.”

“Don’t listen to her, Mia. It’s all a lie”

They looked towards the door to see Rafael enter the room. He looked tired, so she doubted he’d gotten much sleep during his brief trip home, but he’d shaved and changed clothes.

“Hey. How’re you doing?” Olivia asked.

He shrugged, leaning against the wall. “I’m okay I guess.”

She turned to Mia. “And how are you feeling?”

“My headache’s gone but my side and wrist still hurt.”

“They’re keeping her in tonight,” Rafael added, “for observation. If there are no problems, she may be discharged tomorrow, once they’ve put a proper cast on her arm.”

“I think I might have a purple one,” Mia said, picking up the cast colour chart that the nurse had left with her earlier, and showing Olivia.

“That’s a good choice,” she agreed, glancing at the plethora of colours on offer. The fluorescent ones struck her as a bit much, but the purple was a little more sedate.

Rafael shook his head; he didn’t see the need for a coloured cast but, if it helped to cheer Mia up he supposed it wasn’t too much of a waste.

“They’ll be kicking you out soon,” Mia observed. “Visiting finishes at eight.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to ask the nurses if I can stay tonight?” Rafael asked Mia.

Mia let out an exasperated sigh. They’d had this conversation at least three times since his return to the hospital that afternoon. “Raf!” She turned to Olivia. “Please tell him, I’ll be fine on my own.”

Rafael held his hands up. “I was only making sure.”

“You were fussing,” Mia countered, her tone dangerously low.

“I do not fuss.” He turned to his best friend for support. “Tell her Liv.”

“Oh no,” Olivia said, with a shake of her head, “I’m not getting involved in this.” She wasn’t going to lie either; he did fuss. When Noah had run into the door and bumped his head, he’d checked on him every ten minutes, asking if he felt dizzy or sick. After an hour, the poor boy had sported an irritated look, not too dissimilar from the one on Mia’s face at the moment.

“I’d just feel better if someone was here with you,” Rafael explained. “It doesn’t have to be me, maybe Mami could-.”

“No! Go home Raf and take Tia Lucia with you.” The teenager folded her arms and flopped back against the raised back of the bed. “I’m going to be on my own for the rest of my life. The sooner I get used to that fact, the better!”

Silence fell across the hospital room, the occupants stunned at Mia’s outburst. No one said anything for a few moments until Mia’s carefully constructed walls collapsed, and her tears began flowing once more.

Rafael crossed the room in three-strides and dropped onto the bed at Mia’s side. “Oh _, sirena_.” She reached for his hand as the nickname he’d had for her since she was a little girl fell from his lips. He clasped it tightly, his thumb gently stroking her skin. “You are not on your own, Mia. _Mami_ and I will always be here for you.”

She sniffed, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “But…”

“I know there’s a lot of uncertainty at the moment. And I know that worries you.” He tugged on her hand, pulling her towards him. “But I need you to trust me, okay?” He placed two fingers under her chin and raised her head, so she was looking at his face. “We’re going to sort it all out, I promise. Have I ever let you down?”

She shook her head. “No, but nothing’s ever going to be the same,” she mumbled, looking away.  

“No, I know _._ ” Rafael gathered her to him, glancing at Olivia over Mia’s head, searching for help. He felt out of his depth, scared that he would say the wrong thing. But he trusted Olivia. While she didn’t know Mia, she was used to comforting people; playing that role, whether it be with a victim, a member of the squad or Noah.  

Sensing his unease, Olivia leaned forward, “You’re right Mia, things will never be the same and I know that’s upsetting and scary, but you will get through this.” She reached out and stroked the girl’s hair. “And like Rafa said, he and Lucia will be here to help.” She wasn’t sure exactly what that would look like – that was a conversation she was yet to have with Rafael – but she was confident in her words. She’d seen the evidence for herself over the past twenty-four hours; there was no way that Rafael would abandon the young girl.


	6. Chapter 6

Eventually, Lucia and Olivia managed to convince Rafael to leave for the night. Mia’s sobs had eventually calmed thanks to comfort and reassurance from all three of the adults. By the time visiting hours were over she seemed to be in reasonably good spirits, although it did cross Olivia’s mind that she may have been pink-clouding. She made sure to mention it to the nurses on the desk on the way out and they said they’d keep a close eye on her.

“I wish she’d let me stay,” Rafael said as he, his mother and Olivia rode the elevator to the ground floor.

Lucia shook her head. “ _Mijo_ , she’ll be fine. She’s in good hands with the nurses… who have assured you they will call if they need you.”

“Your mother’s right,” Olivia agreed. After her conversation with the nurses, she was confident Mia would be well cared for. “Besides, with the trauma her body has been through and the painkillers she’s on, she’ll probably sleep right through the night with little problem.”

The evening air was oppressive, heavy with warmth and humidity as the three of them exited the hospital onto the main street. Lucia quickly flagged down a taxi. Opening the rear door, she threw her purse onto the seat, before turning back to Rafael. “Go home, _mijo_. Eat, sleep and I’ll meet you back here in the morning, _bien_?”

Rafael kissed her cheek. “ _Bien Mami. Te veré mañana_.”

“Goodbye, Olivia,”

She gave Lucia a small wave. “Bye.”

Rafael closed the taxi door and tapped the roof twice, sighing as it pulled away. He loved his mother, but she could be a bit much at times.

Olivia took Rafael’s hand and tugged him towards to the parking lot.

“You don’t have to drive me home, Liv. I can Uber. You should get back to Noah.”

She stopped, turning to face him. “I am not sending you back to an empty apartment. Rafa. Not until you’ve at least had a decent meal.”

“Liv…”

She fixed him with a hard stare, daring him to argue.

“Yeah, okay,” he conceded, running a hand through his hair. “Food sounds good and I need to talk to you anyway.”

* * *

When they arrived at Olivia’s apartment, Noah was ecstatic to see his uncle Rafa and soon co-opted him into a game of ‘cops and robbers’ with Eddie the Elephant as the prey. His crime this time; eating all the cookies. While the two boys played, Olivia went to the bathroom to freshen up. She removed her make-up and changed into sweats, a t-shirt and a fluffy cardigan. Then she made a start on dinner.  It was nothing fancy; just tomato and cheese pasta bake and salad. Once the salad was prepared, and the pasta in the oven, it was time for Noah to go to bed.

He wanted Rafael to read him a bedtime story, but Olivia managed to convince her son to let her do it, placating him with the promise of two stories from Uncle Rafa next time he was here for bedtime. They barely got half-way through the story before Noah fell asleep anyway – his later than usual bedtime catching up with him. Olivia turned off the light and tiptoed out of her son’s room, closing the door to leave it open just a crack. She padded down the hall to the kitchen, where she found Rafael at the counter plating up their food.

“I figured I should take it out in case it began to burn,” he explained.

“Yeah. Probably best. I don’t think the neighbours would have appreciated being evacuated because we burnt our dinner.” She opened a cupboard above her head. “Wine or scotch?”

“Wine please.” If he started on the hard liquor he didn’t know if he’d be able to stop – he wanted nothing more than to drink away the pain – but he needed a relatively clear head for the conversation he had to have with Olivia.

Olivia poured two glasses of Cabernet and joined Rafael at the table where he was setting down the plates. Sliding into seats opposite each other, they tucked into their meal. Rafael ate a few bites, before stopping eating, pushing the pasta shells around his plate instead.

“How are you doing?” Olivia asked, reaching across the table to touch his arm.

“I…” he shrugged. “I don’t know.”

He was still processing what had happened and Olivia could tell he was struggling with it. Tactfully deciding that talking about his own feelings wasn’t what he needed right now, she turned her attention to the other questions she had.

“You said Mia might be discharged tomorrow?”

“It’s a possibility. If the doctors are happy with how her arm and side are healing.”

“Where will she go? You said she had no-one else?”

“Yeah, um, about that…” Rafael placed his fork down on his plate. “When Mia was born, her grandparents – my aunt and uncle – were already in failing health. Then my uncle had a stroke when Mia was 5. When that happened, Maria came to me and asked if I’d take Mia if anything ever happened to her, because her parents just weren’t fit enough. Of course, I said yes because all we had was each other, and well… you don’t think it’s ever going to happen, do you?”

Olivia nodded. She’d suspected Rafael was planning to take custody of her from some of the comments he had made. “So, you’re going to take her?”

He lifted his glass and took a sip of his wine. “I have to. If I don’t, she ends up in the system and you and I both know how that goes.”

Olivia understood completely. When you’d worked SVU for as long as they had, you’d seen the realities of foster care. If Mia went into the system, there was no telling what would happen to her, even with regular contact with Rafael and Lucia.

“I know I probably should have mentioned this sooner,” Rafael continued, a contrite look on his face. “But with the shock of what happened, I’d forgotten we ever had that conversation. It was only when a caseworker from ACS arrived at the hospital this afternoon that it even occurred to me.”

“It’s okay, Rafa. You don’t have to explain yourself.” Her death had been a shock, it was understandable that his mind had been all over the place.

He sighed. “Except that I do. You and I… we’re… at least I thought we…” he trailed off, unable to find the words in his clouded brain.

Luckily, Olivia understood what he was trying to say. Over the past few months, their friendship had been evolving; they’d grown closer and were on the brink of crossing the threshold to something more. No promises or declarations had been made but it was obvious to both of them where their relationship was headed.

Putting her cutlery down, she lay her hand on his and gave him a warm smile. “We are,” she whispered.  

Rafael turned his hand under hers and interlaced their fingers. “Liv… my life is about to be turned upside down. I can’t ask you to…” He dropped his gaze to where their hands were curled around each other and pressed his lips together as he tried to rein in his emotions. This was harder than he thought it would be, but it needed to be said. “What I’m trying to say is, if you want to walk away now, before… well, I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Rafa, no!”

“Liv, I’m just trying to be realistic.”

“You’re being an idiot.” She shook her head at him. “It’s no different to me having Noah.”

“I knew you and Noah were a package deal, before Liv. This is… you didn’t sign up for this.” The last thing he wanted was for her to feel obliged and then come to resent him or Mia somewhere down the line.

Olivia rolled her eyes. Did he really think that the change in his situation would change how she felt about him? She picked up her fork and pointed it at him. “Rafael Barba, you listen to me and you listen good! You taking custody of Mia makes no difference to my feelings for you or what I want from us in the future okay?” A small smile curved her lips. “Yes, it might make things a little more complicated than before, but so what? I think it’ll be worth it.”

He considered her words. She was right, it would be worth it. They made a formidable team at work and were best friends. A romantic relationship could be amazing. They could be great together. They _would_ be great together. The two of them, Noah and Mia.

“I think it’ll be worth it too.”

“Good. So, we’ll have no more of this ‘walking away’ nonsense. Okay?” she asked, standing and clearing their plates. She placed them in the sink; they could wait until the morning. Right now, Rafael was her priority. She’d fed him and now he needed to rest. Turning back, she found him leaning against the archway to her kitchen.

“I’m sorry, Liv. I didn’t _want_ to end things before they’d even started, I just-

She silenced him with a finger to his lips. “I know.” He was trying to be noble and, while she appreciated the gesture, it was completely unnecessary. She wanted to be with him and whatever hurdles came their way, they would negotiate them together.

Olivia took his hand and led him to her bedroom. This hadn’t exactly been part of her plan when she had brought him home. She’d planned to nag him into staying on her sofa bed. But that didn’t seem right now, given the conversation they’d just had.

“Liv…” He stopped still when he realised where she was taking him. He wasn’t sure sleeping in her bed was appropriate – shouldn’t he take her out first, wine and dine her?

“It’s just to sleep Rafa. Relax. I’m not going to jump you. I’m far too tired tonight to contemplate anything other than sleep. And I suspect you’re the same. You can’t have gotten much sleep this afternoon?”

“About an hour. Maybe two,” he admitted sheepishly.

“Thought so.” She tugged on his hand again. “Come on.”

He allowed her to pull him down the hall toward her room. The bed looked so inviting that his back actually twinged with anticipation.

Olivia drew him with her to the bed. She tossed her cardigan on the bench at the foot of the bed and sank contentedly into the mattress. When Rafael seemed to hesitate, she threw him an irritated look. “How old are you?”

He rolled his eyes at her, but he climbed in beside her, jeans and all. He let out a sigh; it felt too good and his eyes were already heavy. Rafael curled an arm behind his head and let them drift closed when she turned out the light. What he wouldn't let himself do was think about the fact that he was lying in bed with a woman he had been fantasising about getting into bed for a couple of years now. It helped that he was too tired to really give it more than a passing thought.

He was just beginning to drift off again when he felt the bed shift beside him. He jerked awake and looked down when she curled up beside him, her head resting against his shoulder. She wrapped an arm around his waist and burrowed under his arm. He wanted to smirk. Instead, he just arched a brow at her. "How old are you?" he parroted back at her.

“Oh, be quiet,” she retorted. “It’s just a cuddle. Unless of course, you don’t want to…” She made to roll away from him, but he moved the arm that was behind his head to pull her back to him. As he did so, she sighed happily. Being held by him was wonderful and if it was only a precursor of things to come, she saw no reason to not enjoy it while the opportunity presented itself.

His hand settled on her hip and he tucked her against his side. When her leg curled around his, he smirked. “Just a cuddle, eh?”

She didn’t respond, just cuddled in closer and Rafael tightened his hold. They were asleep in minutes, wrapped in each other’s arms.


	7. Chapter 7

Olivia awoke to see the hazy beginnings of the sunrise through a gap in the curtains. She and Rafael had shifted at some point while they slept. She had rolled onto her other side – the one she usually slept on – and it seemed he had followed her. His arm was draped over her waist, his hand resting gently on her stomach. She could feel the warmth of his chest pressed against her back. There were certainly worse ways to wake up, she thought. As carefully as she could, not wanting to wake Rafael, she reached for the phone that was charging on her bedside table. She lifted it toward her to see the time and smiled. It was just after five, but their early-ish night meant they’d still slept for a good seven hours. She felt refreshed; she’d slept better last night than she had in months; there had been no nightmares involving Sheila Porter. She wondered how much of that she could put down to the fact that she felt safe and relaxed in Rafael’s arms.

After placing her phone back on the bedside table, Olivia closed her eyes intending to go back to sleep but opened them again when she felt Rafael’s hand flex and move against her stomach. She smiled. His breathing was still deep, but he was no longer snoring softly. He was close to waking. She eased herself onto her back and then rolled onto her side to face him, propping herself up on her elbow. She smiled as she watched his eyes flutter open briefly. His hand moved to her hip and then slid slowly up her side before he pulled her closer.

Olivia had to place her hand on his arm to keep from tumbling into him. She chuckled quietly as he rolled onto his back, seemingly intent to drag her with him. He grumbled at her, his nose wrinkling, and his brow drew into a frown. He wasn't much of a morning person. She’d known that from working with him for the past six years – he was never particularly pleasant until he’d had his morning coffee. Her hand moved to his chest as he settled on his back. Olivia's lips pursed as she watched him, and she wondered just how awake he really was.

Rafael sighed but didn't open his eyes. His hand had fallen away from her to drape against his own stomach instead. Olivia took the opportunity to study him. The lines around his eyes and mouth were softer. She could see the dark growth of his morning beard, and her fingers itched to reach out and touch his stubble-covered jaw. She bit her lip as she leaned over him. Her finger drew a line down the bridge of his nose. She watched his lips twitch and his eyes flutter. Olivia smiled again; he was awake.

His hand slid beneath her body so that his arm could wrap around her. She felt his fingers dance along her spine as it moved up her back. Her fingers moved along his jaw in the faintest caress as she leaned even closer, his stubble tickling her fingers. As Rafael’s bottom lip jutted out, Olivia was filled with the urge to kiss him. It was an urge she’d had several times over the past few months; drinking scotch on the couch in one of their offices, huddled over a file on her coffee table, sitting side by side at the bar in Forlini’s. But this was the first time that she allowed herself to act on it.

Her lips hovered over his and she felt his breath catch. His hand moved between her shoulder blades and rested there. He didn’t push her closer and she lingered for just a moment; their breaths mingling as they poised to cross a line that they had only just started to acknowledge even existed. When she felt his lips curve into a smile, she lowered her mouth to his in a soft, and almost chaste kiss.

He lifted his hand and ghosted his fingers across her cheek. He caught her hair as it fell forward against his face and pushed it back. His fingers threaded through the thick curtain of it and cupped the back of her head. His thumb stroked the line of her jaw, from the tip of her chin to the soft spot just beneath her ear. She hummed against his mouth, and he grinned as she lifted her head again. His eyes opened. Sleep rumpled with the early-morning light shining in her hair she had never looked lovelier. His thumb caressed her bottom lip. His other hand moved to the small of her back and he pulled her toward him again. When their lips met again his tongue swept across her bottom lip, and he couldn't count how many times he had thought of doing that. Every time she pulled it between her teeth or rubbed her lips together in thought.

He had wanted to kiss her any number of times, and there had been moments when the need was so great that he had to turn away from her to stop from making a fool of himself. Rafael had not imagined that when the moment finally arrived it would be so casual, or languid as this. He imagined the dam breaking during one of their disagreements, under the pressure of anger and passion. Or in a moment of desperation, with one or both of them in a life-threatening situation. In the many ways he’d envisioned this, never once had she been lying beside him, lips curving into a smile while he explored her mouth with lazy abandon.

Rafael rolled her back onto her side and moved with her. He lay facing her, eyes hooded and dark as he placed soft kisses along the line of her jaw, her cheek, and the tip of her nose. She laughed at him, but he simply pushed her hair back from her face and tucked it behind her ear. His fingers traced the line of her neck, and along the curve of her shoulder. His eyes followed the trail until he reached her hand. As his fingers curled around hers, he lifted his gaze to her face again.

“Hi.” His voice broke the silence in the room.

“Hi.”

He let go of her fingers and lifted his hand to her face again. Her eyes closed as his fingers traced the curve of her cheek. When his thumb touched her lips again, she pursed them against it. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him. He was watching her intently, and never had the emotion in his eyes been more intense. He was hardly touching her at all, but her breath caught at the current that it sent through her. His hand moved to her neck and she hummed as his fingers swept her hair over her shoulder.

Olivia’s hand moved to his waist. She pushed her fingers beneath the edge of his t-shirt. She raked them over the skin just above the waistband of his jeans and felt his breath quicken. She tipped her face closer to his and let her lips tease his toward a slow, languid kiss. As the heat of it rose, she curled her fingers into one of his belt loops and pulled herself closer to him, pressing herself along the length of his body. She moaned thickly when his hand gripped the back of her head and he tilted her head to deepen the kiss.

Rafael’s mouth slanted over hers as he pressed her backwards. He settled a hand against her waist as he pushed her onto her back. The other he braced against the bed. He settled his weight on it and rose over her. He hadn’t expected to find himself in this situation less than forty-eight hours after he’d lost his cousin and less than ten hours after he and Olivia had admitted there was something more between them. But waking in her arms, kissing her, it felt right. Like this was what he had been missing his whole life. Yes, he was grieving – and he would continue to do so – but he wanted to feel something other than the weight of this sadness. He wanted to chase it all away; to stop the assault of memories and thoughts. To pretend that there was nothing else in the world but this; the feel and taste of her.

Olivia lifted her body toward Rafael, chasing his warmth and the feel of him as she sought to stay pressed against him. Her hands slipped beneath his t-shirt and moved slowly up his back. He groaned, and the sound rumbled right through her. She curled a leg around his thigh and tugged his body against her. She wanted the feel of him against her, spurred on by the heat that was slowly building between them.

She revelled in the slow kisses and the first touch of Rafael’s hand sliding up her ribcage. She drew a breath when his thumb skirted the underside of her breast in a teasing caress. There was no great rush of desire, no intense and mindless moment of lust. They simply moved beyond conversation and all the careful consideration that they thought they might need. It was completely unplanned and equally as unhurried. It just happened, instinctively and naturally.

They spent the morning learning. Her sides, he discovered, and the backs of her knees were ticklish, and she was left breathless as he exploited that little fact. She found out quickly that his neck was especially sensitive, and he would growl lightly if she paid enough attention to it. It was a sound that she liked, and so she had. They already knew each other's hobbies and habits. They knew each other's friends and families. She knew how he liked his coffee, and he could recall her favourite meal without a moment's hesitation. Those were things they'd learned in the six years they’d been colleagues and then friends. They had talked about any number of things in the past, details and acts, and all the things that they needed to know to lay the groundwork for the moment they found themselves in now.

Without thought of the consequences or hesitation of the unknown, they spent the rest of the time before responsibilities called to them, making love. Rafael didn’t get his morning coffee until later, but for once, he didn’t mind starting the day without it.

Noah wasn’t at all fazed by his uncle Rafa’s appearance at breakfast, chattering away a mile a minute as he scooped spoonfuls of Cheerios into his mouth. Rafael was grateful for the distraction of the little boy; it allowed him to stay in his world of denial for a little longer. He could imagine that this was his life; a relaxed, weekend breakfast with his family.

But reality broke through eventually, as it always did, in the form of a text message from Lucia. They were still sitting at the table eating their breakfast when it came. Well, they were nursing the coffees that had accompanied their breakfasts anyway.

“ _Mami_ wants to meet at the hospital at ten.” He glanced at the clock on the wall, it was almost nine and he still had to go home and change. His mother was one of the most observant people he knew – it wouldn’t do for him to turn up at the hospital in the same clothes that he’d left in the previous evening. It would provoke too many questions. He drank his remaining coffee in one gulp and stood. “Guess I’d better get a move on.”

“The hospital?” asked Noah. “Are you sick, Uncle Rafa?”

Rafael met Noah’s gaze and was surprised to see genuine concern there. He bent down so he was eye-level with the little boy. “No, _mijo_. My cousin was in an accident.” He felt himself choking up with emotion. “She-”

Olivia patted him on the shoulder and shook her head. She had this. “Noah, let Uncle Rafa go and get ready.” She turned to Rafael. “There’s a new toothbrush under the sink in my bathroom.”

He stood back up with a groan as his knees clicked. “Thanks, Liv.”

While Rafael was freshening up, Olivia explained what had happened to Noah as best she could. Although only five-years-old, Noah was a bright boy. He had some understanding of death and knew that Rafael would be sad that he wouldn’t be able to see his cousin again. So, when Rafael emerged from Olivia’s bedroom, having found his socks and shoes, and cleaned his teeth, Noah approached him quietly. He wrapped his arms around Rafael’s waist. The little boy didn’t say anything, but words weren’t needed. He was offering his uncle comfort in the only way he knew how. Rafael placed a hand on Noah’s head, where it rested against his stomach, and his tear-filled eyes met Liv’s own watery ones, both touched by the little boy’s compassion and perceptiveness.

Once she’d reined in her emotions, Olivia dispatched Noah to get dressed and saw Rafael to the door. He grabbed his coat off the hook lay it over his arm – it was warm and dry out and he was heading straight to an Uber – before glancing down the hall to check Noah was still occupied.

“Look Liv, about this morning, I-”

Olivia shook her head as she cupped his cheek. “This morning was wonderful… perfect. Please don’t ruin it by apologising or saying something equally ridiculous.”

He gave her an unamused look. “I just hope you don’t think I was using you to forget…”

“I don’t,” she assured. “I know we need to talk about…” she gestured between them, “us – and we will. But, for now, let’s just enjoy it for what it is. At least until things are more settled. Okay?” She didn’t give him chance to argue, leaning forward and pressing her lips to his in a brief kiss. “Call me,” she instructed when she pulled away. “When you know what’s happening with Mia?”

He nodded. “I will.” He opened the front door but stopped just on the threshold and turned back. He reached for her hand and tugged her gently to him, kissing her once more before he had to leave.


	8. Chapter 8

Mia stared at the walls of her room. Was there any colour more boring or depressing than beige? She supposed that hospitals weren’t exactly places that people wanted to enjoy interior design, but would it kill them to add a bit of colour? People could be stuck in these rooms for weeks, they could at least give them something to look at that wasn’t… well, for want of a better word, hideous. She could only hope the children’s wards were more brightly decorated.

Technically, the paediatric unit was where she should be, but there were no beds, so she’d had to stay on an adult ward. Complete with bland decoration, restricted visiting hours and elderly women moaning and wailing because they had no clue about where they were or why. She was probably being a little uncharitable – it wasn’t their fault they were disorientated, and the nurses _had_ found her a private room – but she couldn’t help where her mind wandered to when she was left alone. Especially when she was trying to avoid thinking about the total devastation that was her life now.

Last night, after she’d been told about her mom, she’d sent Rafa, Lucia and Olivia, thinking she wanted to be alone. But, after her almost constant companions had left for the night, she’d begun to regret her decision. Her thoughts were too much for her to deal with on her own. She had questions, things she needed to know. She found herself wanting to talk about her mom but there was no-one to talk to. Eventually, the nurses had appeared and dosed her up with another round of pain medication which knocked her out pretty quickly and put a stop to the rushing thoughts in her head.

It was mid-morning now and she was expecting Rafael and Lucia to arrive at any moment. Hopefully then, once her cast was fitted, she would be able to get out of here. Although, where she would go was still to be determined. Probably Lucia’s, she mused. That wouldn’t be too bad. Even if she was a little overbearing at times, she worked almost as many hours as her mom had so she’d probably hardly ever see her. Unless of course, she decided to retire to take care of her. She didn’t know what to feel about that. But what was the alternative? Some group home? That thought made her shudder. She’d heard things about those places; horrible things. Then there was her deadbeat father if anyone could find him. She didn’t even know if he was still alive but she sure as hell didn’t want to go and live with him if he was. The man was a stranger; he’d walked out when she was a baby and she hadn’t had so much as a birthday card from him since.

Mia lifted her gaze to the ceiling tiles above her, trying to find patterns in the sporadic dots that covered them. Her situation was all just so very complicated. No doubt someone would sweep in with a plan, but would they even listen to her opinion? Maybe she needed a lawyer, she thought. Kids like her, kids without parents, they had lawyers, right? People who looked after their best interests. Maybe Raf knew someone who could represent her.

She made a mental note to ask him when he finally arrived and wondered, not for the first time that morning when that would be. Tiring of her exploration of the ceiling tiles, she sighed as she closed her eyes instead. She was usually happy to be a solitary creature. Being surrounded by people all day at school, dealing with the hustle and bustle of the halls and staircases, she was often relieved to arrive home and have time to herself. She had hobbies outside of school; she liked to read and could often be found browsing the library or tucked into a corner of the nearest coffee shop, book in hand. Of course, like any teenager she could also easily get sucked into a binge-watch of her favourite TV show, spending hours curled up on the sofa with candy and soda, wiling away the day, willing her two favourite characters to get together. Outside of these, she also enjoyed swimming; gliding through the water gave her a sense of peace. In fact, she’d loved the water so much as a young child, that Rafael had taken to calling her _‘mi pequeña sirena’_ – ‘my little mermaid’. It was a name that had stuck and even now, almost ten years later, he still referred to that way on occasion. It had become something of an inside joke – he’d even bought her a copy of ‘The Little Mermaid’ for her last birthday. And, and as much as she may outwardly grumble that it wasn’t ‘cool’, she loved it really.

The activities that she enjoyed were pretty much solo ones so, she was used to spending time alone and amusing herself. Not that she didn’t enjoy spending time with her friends – they’d hang out at the mall or go to the movies – but she was just as happy being on her own. Her eyes opened again, and she cast a miserable look out of the window on the far side of the room. Now that she really was alone in the world, she longed to be surrounded by people, by. People to care for her, to distract her from the tumult of emotions roaring through her body.

As if a higher power had heard her, a knock sounded on the door. Her head snapped around, and she looked toward the entrance to her room. The door pushed inwards and – speak of the devil – Rafael entered, followed closely by Lucia.

“ _Hola sirena,”_ Rafael greeted, approaching the bed and dropping a kiss on the top of her head.

She gave him her best eye-roll. “ _Hola_ Raf.”

“How are you feeling?” He took a seat in the chair nearest the bed.

She shrugged. “Physically I’m still sore. Emotionally I’m… I guess numb would be the word. But I’m sooooo bored!”

Rafael eyed the TV on the wall and the remote on her table. “Nothing on?”

“Nothing worth watching.”

“Ah yes, I’d forgotten you were a TV connoisseur,” he replied with a smirk. She was extremely picky about what she watched; as picky as he was about his coffee. He wondered if teasing and joking with her was the right thing to do, given the circumstances, but it was what they did. He found it familiar, comforting to slip into their normal roles. Hopefully, she did too. He reached into the bag he’d been carrying and pulled out his iPad, handing it to Mia. “Well, this should help alleviate some of the boredom.”

She took it from him, and lifted it to her face, kissing it! “Oh yes!” She opened the cover and tapped away at the screen. “I see you’ve still not beaten my high score on Candy Crush,” she observed shaking her head. “Poor, Raf. Poor.”

He arched a brow at her cheek. “Some of us have better things to do than sit playing games all day.”

“Yes, like drink our own body weight in coffee,” interjected Lucia.

Mia always enjoyed watching Raf be taken down a peg or two by his mom and let out a soft giggle, before stopping abruptly.

“ _Sirena_?” Rafael leant forward. “What is it?”

“Is this wrong?” she gestured helplessly. “To laugh so soon after Mom…”

“Not at all, sweetie,” Lucia assured. “Your mom would want you to smile and enjoy your life.”

She looked at Rafa. “Raf…?”

“ _Mami’s_ right, _sirena_.” He smiled sadly at her and reached up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “All your mom ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

Mia dragged her free hand across her face as her teeth scraped along her bottom lip. “But how can I be happy without her?”

There was a hitch in Rafael’s voice when he spoke again, and a dampness to his eyes. “I know it doesn’t seem like it the moment, but you will find a way.” He knew she’d never ‘get over it’ but, with the right support, she would be able to find a way to live with it; to be happy and content with her life. Rafael only hoped that he could provide that support.


	9. Chapter 9

Rafael, Lucia and Mia spent the next few hours swapping humorous stories about Maria, some of which Mia had never heard before. Interspersed within the reminiscing were several games of Candy Crush, which resulted in Lucia also beating Rafael’s score – and on the first ever time she’d played. He pouted for a good ten minutes as Mia and Lucia teased him mercilessly about that.

He was saved from any further torment by the arrival of an orderly to take Mia down to the plaster room to have her cast fitted. Lucia accompanied her, with Rafael feigning a fear of broken bones. He was actually going to meet with Maria’s lawyer. He wanted to make sure the arrangements were still the same. That Maria hadn’t changed her plans and forgotten to tell him; she could be scatty like that, even with the most important of tasks. He didn’t want to mention any custody arrangements to Mia until he was sure of what the situation was

When he returned, having taken a slight detour to Mia’s favourite New York deli for some sandwiches, he found his young cousin staring studiously at the iPad. The television was on, but it was some ghastly reality show that his mother had taken to watching, so would hold no interest to Mia. He placed the take-out bag on the table and returned to his chair.

“Let’s see your cast then?”

She held out her arm, which was now encased in a purple plaster.

“Can I sign it?” he asked, picking up a pen.

“Sure,” she replied, without looking up from the device propped up on the table in front of her. Rafael glanced at his mother who just shrugged and whispered,

“She’s been staring at that for the last half an hour.”

Rafael scrawled his name on the top of her cast and drew a little doodle of a mermaid tail diving into the sea to accompany it. “What are you reading?” he asked, trying not to sound too interested.

“Just doing some research.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” She swallowed thickly, looking up at him. “Raf… do you know anyone who works with kids like me, to help them sort out where they’ll live? Like a lawyer or something?”

Rafael’s brow furrowed. “Mia, you don’t have to worry about that-”

“But I do! I want to have a say, Raf.” She turned her attention back to the screen, eyes flicking left to right as she took in as much information as possible.

“You can. You will.” He sighed. “Can you just put the iPad down and listen to me for a minute, please?”

Mia did as he asked, placing the device on the table and turning towards him but not lifting her gaze.

Rafael glanced at his mother. “Mami, can you give us a minute?”

Lucia nodded and excused herself, muttering something about going to see where the nurses were up to with Mia’s discharge papers and medications. She knew what Rafael wanted to talk to Mia about; they’d discussed it at length with the ACS worker the previous afternoon. She was surprised to hear that Rafael had agreed to be Mia’s guardian, but when she thought about it, she realised she shouldn’t have been. He and Maria were as close as a brother and sister so when thinking about who to take care of her child, Rafael would have been the obvious choice for Maria. Lucia had listened to his fears of not being good enough, of being too much like his own father, and had assured him that would not be the case. She also agreed to help and support him any way she could, although she expected he would turn to Olivia for advice before her. She was okay with that though, as long as he asked for help and reassurance when he felt he needed it, it didn’t matter where it came from.

When the door had closed behind his mother, Rafael turned to Mia. He reached out and stroked her hair. She looked for all the world like a lost puppy. It broke his heart to see her fretting so.

“Mia, _sirena_ , I know you’ve been worried about what’s going to happen to you but… your mom and I… we talked about what would happen if she couldn’t look after you anymore.”

Mia’s eyes snapped to his at his words. “Y-you did? When?”

“Not long after your _abuelo_ had his first stroke. Your mom had a plan. She breezed into my office in Brooklyn one evening like she owned the place, helped herself to a glass of my finest scotch and slammed these down on my desk.” He placed a folded batch of papers down on the table. “You can read them,” Rafael said, “but essentially, what they say is that your mom appointed me to be your guardian should anything happen to her and that, if you’re happy with that, you’ll come and live with me.”

“Y-you?”

She hadn’t considered the possibility that she could end up living with Rafael. He was a busy man; a busy, _single_ man, with no experience of looking after a kid. Mia was pretty sure Olivia had a kid… a boy… Nathan or Nick… no, Noah. Raf mentioned him sometimes, but how often he saw him and what kind of responsibility he took for him she didn’t know.

“You don’t have to say yes,” Rafael continued. “I know Mami would take you in a heartbeat or there are other options.” He ran a hand through his hair. “And if you still want to speak to a lawyer, Liv knows someone. His name is Trevor Langan. I can ask her to give him a call. But you can come and live with me if that’s what you want.”

Before Mia could answer, Rafael’s phone began to ring. He plucked it from his pocket and glanced at the display. Mia didn’t miss the smile that appeared on his face, or the picture of the caller that flashed up on the screen; Olivia.

Rafael declined to answer; he’d call her back later and explain why.

“Would it just be you?” Mia asked.

“I’m sorry?”

She threw a pointed look at his phone. “If I lived with you, would it _just_ be with you?”

“What? Oh, you mean Liv? She has her own place. We don’t… we’re not…”

Mia raised an eyebrow and for a moment, Rafael felt like he was seventeen again and being interrogated by Maria about his feelings for Lauren Sullivan.

“There’s…” he searched helplessly for a word before giving up, “something there, yes.”

“I knew it!” she declared triumphantly. “And so did Mom.”

Oh, Rafael was well aware of that. Maria had worked out his feelings for Olivia before he’d even admitted them to himself. He supposed turning up on his cousin’s doorstep beside himself when she’d been taken by William Lewis was a bit of a giveaway, no matter how many times he insisted she was ‘just a friend’. And, Maria being Maria, she had badgered him relentlessly about it. Every time he saw her, she would ask in a sing-song voice how Olivia was and if he’d grown the balls to do anything about his growing attraction to her.

When he’d found out Olivia was dating Tucker, he’d sought solace at Maria’s house again. She’d been apoplectic and ready to hunt Olivia down and ‘knock some sense into her’. Luckily Rafael managed to calm her down and they’d spent the evening drinking and bemoaning their love lives, or lack thereof.

“It’s been building for a while,” he admitted, not really wanting to get into details about his love life with his teenage cousin. “but it’s very new.”

He wondered what Maria would say if she were here now; if she knew that he and Olivia had finally crossed that line. Probably something along the lines of ‘and about time too’. She’d be right too, it had been a long time coming but maybe it wouldn’t have worked before. Perhaps they’d both needed to go through everything they’d experienced as friends to find themselves in a position to have a successful relationship. He supposed only time would tell.

“If I do come to live with you, will Olivia be okay with that?” Mia asked. It was a pretty big thing to date someone with a kid, even if she did already have one of her own. She knew how much Rafael loved Olivia, she didn’t want to cause any problems or come between them.

“Well, she was when we discussed it last night.”

Mia stared at him. She blinked a couple of times but looked incredulous. “So what, you checked with her first, to see if it was okay? Do I mean that little to you, Raf? What if she’d said no? Would you have shipped me off to Tía Lucia?” She had no idea where the sudden anger had come from, but she couldn’t stop the words as they tumbled from her lips or the venom behind them.

Barba’s eyes widened. “What? No!” He rubbed his forehead. Mia hadn’t even agreed to live with him yet and already he was messing things up. He reminded himself that she was grieving and, combined with all the teenage hormones flooding her system, she was likely to experience mood swings and emotional outbursts. But he still felt like he’d failed.

Her face flushed with heat. “But you said-”

Rafael held up a hand and gave her a penetrating look. She stopped, folding her arms and pouting.

“I said Olivia and I had discussed it because that’s what people in grown-up relationships do. They talk about the things that are going on in each other’s lives, _sirena_. I did not say that I would have chosen her over you.” He spoke slowly and clearly, annunciating every word so that there could be no confusion. “That was never an option, okay?”

Mia nodded slowly. “Did she ask you to?”

“No. Liv’s not like that, _sirena_. She’s one of the most selfless people I know.”

Unfolding her arms, Mia rubbed her hand against the bed sheets. She swallowed past the painful lump in her throat and stared down at the table. She drew in a shaky breath but didn’t look up. “She did seem nice, I suppose.” And she probably was; Rafael wouldn’t love her if she was a bitch. And it was obvious that he loved her, even if he insisted their relationship was ‘new’.

“She is,” he agreed. “You’ll see for yourself in time… if you decide to…”

“Live with you?”

“Yeah.”

Mia raised her head and looked him in the eye. “If you’re sure you want me to.”

Rafael nodded and took Mia’s hand. “I’m sure.” He wanted to do this for her. For Maria. He was one hundred percent sure of that. What he wasn’t sure of was if he’d be any good at it. “I can’t promise I won’t mess up from time to time. I don’t have much experience of raising kids.”

“That’s okay. I’ll teach you the important stuff. Y’know, like how Mom let me stay up past midnight and have ice-cream for breakfast.”

Rafael cracked a smile. “Nice try, but I wasn’t born yesterday, _sirena_.”

“Was worth a shot,” Mia replied with a shrug.

“I’ll give you points for your audacity.”

“I’ll take it… for now,” she smirked.

Rafael groaned. He was pretty sure she was going to make it her mission to drive him crazy. The transition from fun cousin to parent was certainly going to be interesting.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mia is discharged from hospital but settling in at Rafael's doesn't go quite as planned...

Mia was discharged later that same day, and Rafael took her back to his condo. He had a spare room, but it would need redecorating to fit the tastes of a young teenager. ‘At least it has a bed in it,’ he thought. It hadn’t until a few months ago. Before then, the room had served as his home office, comprising nothing but a desk, a bookcase and a comfy armchair. He added the bed after Olivia and Noah had come for dinner one night. Noah had been tired after a long day at Pre-K and flaked out almost as soon as they’d finished dessert. Olivia had put him down in Rafael’s bed, while they finished the movie they’d decided on. Several hours later she joined her son after Rafael had talked her out of waking the poor boy to take him home, insisting he was happy to sleep on the couch. He had been at the time of suggesting it. Several hours later he awoke, with an aching back and a crick in his neck, regretting his chivalrous decision. He’d opened his laptop and right there and then, in the middle of the night, brought up IKEA’s website and ordered a spare bed. He’d had a hell of a time putting it together when it arrived – there had been several expletives involved – but he’d managed it. His back was forever grateful.

Once Mia was up to it, he’d take her to the hardware store and she could choose some wallpaper or paint that she liked, as well as some soft furnishings too; curtains, bedding etc. Unless she wanted to bring some stuff from her old room; but he wasn’t sure when she’d feel like going back to her old apartment, there may be too many memories. His mom was going to go over there this evening and pick up a few things for her; some clothes, her phone, her school bag.

But first things first, he needed to clear out the bookcase and other boxes that he had been storing in there.

Rafael settled Mia on the sofa with his iPad and Netflix account and then got to work. He stripped the bed, throwing the blankets and sheets that had been on there in the washer. Then he started on the boxes that were piled up in his spare room. There were several that contained old law books. He’d offer Carisi first refusal and then the rest could go to his office; they may come in useful for someone. Another contained mementoes from his childhood; photo albums, report cards, debate team medals, yearbooks. He put that box aside on the bed to look at more closely later. There may be some photos of her mom in there that Mia would be interested in.

Some other boxes, like the one containing video cassettes, went straight in the scrappage pile. It took him just over an hour to empty the bookcase and sort the boxes. When he’d finished, he turned his attention back to the box of childhood memories. Sitting on the mattress next to where he’d left the box, he began to sift through the contents. He set the debate team medals aside – his father had always said his mouth was going to get him into trouble one day and he’d been determined to prove him wrong, joining the debate team to show him that his articulateness and charisma could be used for a greater purpose. His father hadn’t cared. To him, Rafael was just mouthy and had an answer for everything. He wasn’t athletic or sporty, nor was he interested in cars, so would not be following him in the family trade.

He flicked through his yearbooks, groaning at the photos of his younger self and his classmates. How cool they thought they looked and how wrong they were. There was a picture of him, Eddie and Alejandro in the library. Five years ago, this picture would have made him smile, now though it filled him with feelings of anger and disgust. He slammed the book closed and tossed it aside, picking up the next one. His senior year. He thumbed the pages, quickly locating Maria’s picture. She’d been a sophomore then and had purple hair, much to her parent’s chagrin. He chuckled as he remembered the look of shock and devastation on their faces when she’d walked in after having it dyed. It hadn’t gone down well. But she was always a free spirit, independent and stubborn to the core.

The little trip down memory lane had Rafael laughing, groaning and shaking his head, but when he lifted a framed photo from the bottom of the box, tears pooled in his eyes. The photo showed him and Maria at her first communion when she was eight years old. She was wearing a white, lace dress and matching veil – the one both their mothers had worn for theirs. She was stood in front of the altar, clutching a rosary and prayer book in her hand, a ten-year-old Rafael behind her. He hadn’t wanted to have his photo taken but his mother had insisted he stand there, his arm around his cousin. He’d pouted but then Maria had turned to look at him, eyes almost begging him, and he hadn’t been able to refuse. She’d always had him wrapped around her little finger. He couldn’t deny her anything. So, he’d stepped up, plastered on a smile and secured his arm around her shoulder. And she’d beamed. After the photographs had been taken, she’d thrown her arms around him and whispered, ‘thank you, Rafa’.

More memories assaulted him – the night her first boyfriend dumped her, and she showed up crying at his door, his college graduation, where she’d sat cheering in the audience, and hers, when it was his turn to cheer – and the tears in his eyes began to multiply. He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting for control. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the photo frame tightly, the edges digging into his palms. His anguish overflowed, and tears ran down his cheeks, dripping from his chin onto the glass. The fingers of his right hand gingerly moved to caress Maria’s face, moving up and down the glass tenderly.

She had been his first friend; his best friend. He couldn’t remember a time she wasn’t in his life. And now she was gone. All because some reckless idiot had chosen to have an extra drink with his buddies and then get behind the wheel of his car. Now his cousin was dead. Ripped away from them far sooner than she should have been.

Anger burned inside of him; his body vibrated with it. He launched the photo frame across the room. It hit the wall with a resounding smash and the dam holding in his tears finally broke. Sobs began to wrack his body. He slid off the bed to the floor, hugging his legs to his chest and burying his head in his knees, trying desperately to make the pain and the hurt go away.

Immersed in his sadness and grief, he didn't notice the shadow lingering in the doorway. Only when a voice broke through his cries did he look up.

“Raf?” Mia had just been drifting off when she’d heard the smash of glass from the back of the apartment. She’d sat up a little too quickly, feeling the stitches in her side pull a little. Breathing through the pain, she’d managed to stand unaided and hobble her way towards the sound.

Lifting his eyes, Rafael saw his young charge leaning on the doorframe. “ _Sirena_ ,” he whispered, hurriedly wiping his eyes on the sleeves of his jumper, not wanting her to see his grief.

“Don’t,” she chastised gently as she crossed the threshold into what was going to be her bedroom. She moved slowly, gingerly, encumbered by her injuries. She didn’t even try to join him on the floor, choosing instead to sit on the edge of the bed. “You are allowed to cry, Raf,” she said.

He twisted his head to look upon her. “I just don’t want to upset you.”

“I’m going to be upset, Raf. For a long time. But I get that you’re upset too. You don’t have to hide it for my sake.”

Rafael marvelled at his young cousin. She was going through the worse possible tragedy imaginable and she was still concerned about him. He pushed himself up off the floor, his knees clicking in protest, to join her on the bed. “I’m getting to too old for this,” he mumbled.

“No comment,” Mia replied with a sad smile. She rested her head on his shoulder. “I miss her Raf. I miss her so much.”

Her words caused more tears to fall, but this time he didn’t try to hide them. Instead, he put an arm around Mia’s shoulder and anchored her to him. “Me too, _sirena_. Me too.” Burying his face in her hair, they sat crying and grieving together.


	11. Chapter 11

Once Rafael and Mia had cried all the tears they could for that day, he turned their attention to readying her room. She was quick to point out that she wasn’t in any fit state to be moving furniture, wanting to retreat back to the living room, back to her solitude. As much as she was grateful to Rafael for taking her in, the thought of making a life for herself here was a bit overwhelming.

“No, but you can supervise,” Rafael told her.

And she did, but her heart wasn’t really in it. Once the broken glass was cleared, she instructed him where to put the furniture. The bed went in one corner, and the desk and bookcase were situated on the opposite wall. It was a practical choice rather than an aesthetic one; being nearer to the window would provide more natural light while she was studying.

When the furniture was in place, Rafael stood back to the admire the layout. “You’ll need a closet,”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“Maybe we could go to IKEA?” he suggested, hoping to get her interested in something, to pull her out of her grief. Personally, he hated the large Swedish furniture giant; having to walk miles to get to the one thing you needed annoyed him. It was why he ordered the bed online when he’d bought that. But Mia loved it. When she’d first seen the spare bed, she had complained that he’d been there without her.

She shrugged. “Maybe.” She didn’t really care. She just wished he would stop talking. She just wanted to go home, back to her old apartment, her old room, with her Mom singing and dancing in the kitchen while making dinner.

“There are probably other things that you need too. You should make a list.” He looked around, analysing the space. “A mirror maybe? Some cushions? A-”

“Raf!” she yelled. “Just stop! Please!”

Her shout stopped him cold. He wasn’t used to seeing this side of her; whenever they spent time together she was all smiles and teasing banter. He understood it was normal for teenagers to be moody and unpredictable, but it would take some getting used to. When he looked at her though, saw tears in her eyes. She wasn’t angry, she was upset.

He considered the situation for a moment. Maybe he was pushing too hard. It had been less than 48 hours since she lost her mom and here he was prattling on about closets and cushions.

“Oh _sirena_ , I’m sorry.”

Mia began to cry, Rafael’s apology suddenly making her feel guilty. He didn’t deserve to be snapped at. He’d taken her into his home and was trying to make her as welcome and comfortable as he could. She sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve. “I will make that list.”

“There’s no rush,” he assured her. “You’re not physically fit to be traipsing around the store at the moment anyway.”

He was about to suggest she look at the website to see if there was anything she liked when a knock on the front door echoed through the apartment.

Mia sighed. “If that’s Tía Lucia, can you tell her I’m asleep or something. I really can’t deal with her right now.” She didn’t want to sound rude – she loved her great-aunt, but she didn’t have the energy to deal with her at the moment. She was exhausted.

Rafael rolled his eyes as he stood from the floor. “Well, thanks for your support,” he replied sarcastically. Although he understood, his mother’s overbearing nature had shone through magnificently at the hospital earlier and he couldn’t blame Mia for wanting a reprieve. He didn’t think it would be his mother however, she had said that she wouldn’t be able to drop Mia’s things around until tomorrow. She’d muttered something about ‘having plans’ but wouldn’t be drawn on what they were.

He opened the door to discover he was right – it wasn’t his mother. It was Olivia… and Noah.

“Hi.”

His shoulders sagged with relief at seeing her. He hadn’t expected her to call round, but he said a quick prayer of thanks that she was here; maybe she could help him understand what Mia needed, help him to do and say the right things.

“Hi.” Olivia regarded Rafael with concern; his pale skin, drawn expression and red-rimmed eyes. He clearly wasn’t having an easy time.

Rafael stepped back to invite them in, but Olivia shook her head.

“We’re not staying, we just figured you probably wouldn’t want to cook tonight, so…” She held out one of the plastic bags she was carrying. “…we brought you dinner. It’s from Luigi’s. I didn’t know what Mia would like so I just went with a simple Bolognese.”

“Liv… that’s… you shouldn’t have.” He hadn’t even considered dinner; hadn’t felt particularly hungry, but the delicious aromas coming from the bag she passed to him were quickly changing that. Luigi’s was their favourite Italian place, but it wasn’t on the way from her apartment to his; it was on the opposite side of Manhattan, so she must have made a special detour.

“I think what he means to say, is ‘thank you’,” Mia said as she rounded the corner into the hallway. Having heard the door open but not hearing Lucia, she had ventured back out of her room to see who was at the door. She was still a little wary of Olivia – not yet knowing how her presence in Raf’s life would affect her – but she knew it was important to her cousin that she make an effort with her.

“Yeah, thanks guys,” Rafael parroted.

“You’re welcome, Uncle Rafa,” piped up Noah and Mia’s eyes flitted to the little boy.

Rafael bent down. “Noah, this is Mia. She’s my cousin.”

He nodded. “I know,” Noah replied. “Momma told me. I made sure we got extra garlic bread for you,” he stage-whispered. To him, garlic bread was the best thing in the world so naturally, he assumed it was the same for others too.

Mia cast a baffled look at Rafael, who shrugged as if to say, 'just go with it'. “Thanks,” she said to Noah. “I, uh, love garlic bread.”

“Everyone loves garlic bread,” Noah replied, glancing longingly at the take-out bag his mother still held.

Mia followed Noah’s gaze and then looked back at Olivia. “If you picked up dinner for yourselves too, you’re welcome to eat with us,” she offered.

“Oh, we don’t want to intrude.” She had only intended to drop off the take out for them, not wanting to push in on their grief.

“You’re not,” Mia replied sincerely. She didn’t really want to socialise but having Olivia and Noah there may distract Rafael for a bit. Give him something else to think about other than her. And, once dinner was over, she could always excuse herself if she wanted to, claiming she needed to rest.

“Well, if you’re sure…?”

Mia nodded, and Rafael agreed. “Stay? Please?”

“Okay then.”

“Great,” Mia took the take-out bags from Olivia and Rafael and beckoned to Noah. “Come on, Noah. You can help me set the table.”

Once the kids were out of sight, Rafael stepped closer to Olivia. “Hi,” he repeated, his arms circling her waist and pulling her over the threshold.

“Hi.” She let her arms slide around him, her hands settling against the small of his back, fingers locked together. “How are you doing?”

“Struggling,” he admitted, “but you being here is helping.”

“I’ve only just arrived.”

“Just the fact that you’re here and I can do this.” He leant into her capturing her lips in a soft kiss.

She melted into him with a sigh as his lips touched hers, her hands travelling up his back to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. A soft, low sound rumbled in her throat as his tongue brushed against her bottom lip.

“We should… stop,” she gasped. “The kids.”

“They’ll be fine for a couple of minutes,” he mumbled between kisses. Being able to hold her like this, kiss her, was addictive and he could easily get lost in the feel of her in his arms, his lips caressing hers.

“One minute,” she countered.

“We’ll see,” he smirked, as his tongue swept into her mouth.

Despite knowing Noah and Mia were on the other side of the wall, Olivia allowed him to deepen the kiss. She threaded her fingers into his hair and surrendered to his ministrations.

Meanwhile, Mia and Noah were getting acquainted while setting the table for dinner.

“My mom said you're going to be living with Uncle Rafa now,” Noah said as Mia handed him a bunch of cutlery to set out.

“Yeah. My mom...” Her breath hitched as she realised that was the first time she'd spoken the words aloud She took a breath. “My mom died. Do you know what that means?” She didn't have much experience with younger kids, so didn't have any frame of reference for what he might or might not know about death.

“That you can't see her anymore because she's in heaven.”

“Yeah,” breathed Mia. “That knife and fork are the wrong way round by the way,” she told him pointing at the last place he’d set. She turned to the cupboard to retrieve a jug and then switched on the faucet to fill it.

Noah obediently switched the two pieces of silverware. “My mom's in heaven too.”

Mia turned from the sink, her brow furrowed. “Your mom's in the hall with Raf.”

Noah shook his head. “I'm 'dopted. It means I had another mom when I was a baby. Her name was Ellie. But she died. So my mom ‘dopted me because there was nobody to look after me.”

Olivia had sat Noah down after the whole fiasco with Sheila and explained the situation. It was earlier than she would have liked but her hand had been forced. Thankfully, he’d accepted her rather simple explanation; that Elie had died so she had adopted him, so he would have a mom. She knew there would be more questions to answer as he grew up, but for now, he seemed content with just knowing the basics.

“Oh.” Mia paused as she put the jug of water down on the table and regarded Noah closely. She didn’t realise he was adopted. Given that he hadn’t mentioned a father, she decided not to ask. She knew from personal experience how unreliable fathers could be. “I guess we’re kind of kindred spirits then.” Noah looked confused, so she elaborated. “It means we’re in similar situations. That we kind of understand each other.”

There were differences, of course. Noah was a baby when he lost his mom so didn’t have the same attachment or memories. She supposed, having never really known her that he didn’t miss her. Not like she did. It felt there was a gaping hole in her heart and she didn’t know how to fill it.

“Yeah, I guess we are then.” Noah looked over at the take-out bags on the counter. “I’m hungry! What are they doing out there?”

Mia had a pretty good idea of what was keeping Raf and Olivia, and when she popped her head around the corner, she found that her suspicions were correct. They were kissing rather passionately; Olivia pressed against the wall. She covered her eyes. There were some things in life she didn’t need to see. She knew she should back away discretely, and maybe just start plating up hers and Noah’s dinner, but she had this sudden urge to tease Raf like she usually did – and it was what her mom would have wanted. She cleared her throat loudly before speaking.

“If you two have finished playing tonsil hockey, Noah and I would like to eat before the food gets cold.”


	12. Chapter 12

_“If you two have finished playing tonsil hockey, Noah and I would like to eat before the food gets cold.”_

Rafael and Olivia sprung apart, heat blazing in their cheeks – heat that had nothing to do with the passion of moments ago, but the embarrassment of being caught in a compromising situation by a teenager. Rafael chanced a glance down the hallway just in time to see Mia disappear into the living area. He turned back to Olivia.

“I am so sorry! I can’t believe she… Honestly, she’s just like her mother.” He smiled for a moment as he recalled the teasing his cousin would throw his way, but then he began to frown. “Tonsil hockey… I mean… how does she even know that term?” He was pacing now, taking five steps one way before turning on his heel and retracing his movements.

“She’s thirteen, Rafa,” Olivia tried to reason.

“Exactly! She’s too young to know about…” he trailed off and gestured, “…all that.” He wasn’t mad at her. For a moment he was actually relieved to see a glimpse of the ‘old Mia’. But then his mind had run away with him.

Olivia raised a perfectly arched brow, wondering how he could be so naïve. He worked SVU for goodness sake. Given their line of work, he knew more than most that teenagers nowadays were more knowledgeable about sex and relationships than ever before.

“I know…” Rafael replied with a sigh. “But she’s still just a kid.”

Olivia shook her head. If this is what he was like about her knowing certain phrases, goodness knows what he was going to be like when he got her first boyfriend. Neurotic probably. Like when he suspected his mother of having an admirer. Only worse. A lot worse.

“Come on,” she said, taking his hand and tugging him down the hall. “Goodness knows what she’ll think If we stay out here much longer.”

“That’s not exactly comforting, Liv…”

* * *

The four of them enjoyed a quiet, relaxed dinner with Noah providing a much-needed distraction as he talked non-stop about his day at school. Mia didn’t speak much, choosing instead to listen. She didn’t eat as much as Rafael would have liked either, but he reminded himself that she was grieving, and she was on some pretty strong painkillers and antibiotics which would also be playing havoc with her appetite.

Once dinner and dessert – strawberry ice-cream with sauce and sprinkles – were over, Rafa offered to clean up and recruited Noah to help. This left Olivia and Mia alone together for the first time since that day at the hospital.

They retreated to the large corner sofa that took up almost the entire wall and separated the living room from the kitchen/dining area. Mia pulled the fleecy throw from where it was draped over the back of the couch and laid it over her legs. Picking up the remote, she switched on the television, channel hopping for a few moments before settling on some repeats of The Big Bang Theory. The two lapsed into silence for a few moments, watching the story play out on the screen before Mia took a deep breath and turned to Olivia.

“Olivia… can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Olivia shifted to face the young girl, sensing from her tone that whatever was bothering Mia would require her full attention.

“Raf said he talked to you about me staying here?” Mia questioned, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

Olivia nodded. “We spoke about it briefly, yes. Why?”

“Well, he said you were okay with it, and I just…” She sighed. “I guess, I just wanted to make sure that you really were.”

“Honey, it’s really nothing to do with me.”

Mia rolled her eyes. “Sure it isn’t! You two have just started dating and then I appear out of nowhere.”

Olivia glanced towards where Noah was helping Rafa load the dishwasher and was relieved that the little boy didn’t seem to have overheard. She hadn’t had time to address the change in their relationship with her son and wasn’t planning on doing until she was sure of what she was going to say. She and Rafael had barely had time to discuss it themselves, let alone talk about what to tell the kids. She didn’t know if Rafael had spoken to Mia about their relationship, but there was no point denying there was something between them – not after she’d caught them making out in the hallway.

“Mia, I will tell you exactly what I told Raf. You staying here does not, and will not, change the way I feel about him, or the fact that I want to be with him. Okay?”

“So, he did ask you if it was okay before he made up his mind?” Mia huffed. “He told me he didn’t. I can’t believe he lied to me!”

“No.” Olivia shook her head. “He didn’t lie sweetie. Rafa told me he was going to take custody of you and then offered me the chance to walk away with no hard feelings.” She stretched her arm along the back of the couch and squeezed the young girl’s shoulder. “I said no, but if my being around is going to be a problem for you then I can always-”

“No!” Mia protested. “I want him to be happy and, well, it’s pretty obvious that he loves you so, I guess I’m good with it. Just maybe cool it on the PDAs? I mean, I don’t need to see you and him sucking face, y’know? I’m young and impressionable after all and-”

Olivia held up her hand to cut her off, grateful that Rafael hadn’t heard Mia’s use of the term ‘sucking face’. “I get it. I’m sorry we got carried away. We’ll do our best not to let it happen again.” She couldn’t guarantee that Mia would never see them kissing or embracing, but she could promise to respect the girl’s wishes and try to keep it to times when she wasn’t around. Olivia didn’t know how much Maria had dated, if at all, so it was possible that Mia had no real experience of adult relationships other than what she saw on television; which wasn’t always a healthy representation. Happiness did not make for good drama after all.

“Thanks,” she replied turning her attention back to the television.

Olivia wanted to ask her how she was doing but by refocusing on the screen, Mia had effectively ended the conversation. Noah joined them a few moments later, his kitchen duties complete and climbed up onto his mom’s lap. He was followed by Rafael. Olivia smiled at him as he settled in between her and Mia and he returned the gesture, a weary look on his face. She was about to suggest that she and Noah head home when her son lifted his head and asked,

“Momma? What’s tonsil hockey?”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a filler chapter, but I think you'll like it. At least I hope you will.

The days and weeks following Maria’s death were filled with activity. The first few days were spent organising and attending her funeral. It was a beautiful service attended by Mia, Rafael, Lucia, Olivia plus a couple of other distant relatives and a few others who Rafael assumed to be her friends and colleagues. A couple of Mia’s friends, and her teacher, also came to pay their respects. The mourners may have been small in number, but the love for Maria and Mia was felt greatly by the family.

Even after the funeral, there was still a lot to be taken care of in regard to Maria’s estate. The proceeds from the sale of her house, plus her life insurance pay-out had been left in trust to Mia, with a monthly allowance granted to assist in her care. Rafael and Mia also had to appear before the city’s Surrogate Court for the judges to formally approve him as guardian. He hired Trevor Langan to represent him but, in the end, the guardianship hearing was just a formality. ACS submitted a favourable report and Mia told the judge she was happy with her mother’s recommendation. These factors, alongside Maria’s choice that Rafael take care of her daughter, meant the judge saw no reason not to approve Rafael as Mia’s guardian.

Eventually, life had to go on. Rafael returned to work and Mia to school and the healing continued as they carried on with their lives. There were changes though, there had to be. Rafael began leaving the office on time. It meant he had to bring work home with him, but he tried to leave that until after he and Mia had eaten. Late night drinks in Forlini’s had given way to evenings spent at the kitchen table, helping Mia with Math or English homework.

Still, the changes in Rafael’s life paled in comparison to those in Mia’s. Coming to terms with the death of her mother was a slow process. As the shock faded, she went through a period of anger; she was angry at the drunk-driver who caused the accident, at herself for asking to go to the cinema that night, at Rafael and Lucia for trying to help her move on. She was even angry at her mother for dying. She had cried, shouted, slammed the door and thrown things before her anger had dissipated. The anger gave way to guilt as she began to move on with her life, wondering if somehow, she was betraying her mother’s memory, but with support from those around her she came to realise that life couldn’t stand still, however much she might want it to, and her mother would want her to be happy. As time went on, the good days began to outweigh the bad. She began to accept that her mother was gone and started to embrace the new life she was building with Rafael.

Rafael and Olivia were still exploring their new relationship but between work, Mia and Noah, there wasn’t much time for the two of them to be alone. In the three months since they’d advanced their relationship, they’d managed to arrange a grand total of one date. Amanda had invited Noah to a sleepover with Jesse, so Rafael had asked Olivia to dinner. He’d booked a table at _Del Posto,_ an intimate, Italian restaurant in the West Side; wanting something special for their first official date. They never made it to the restaurant though. It had been a tough week and they were both exhausted so instead they grabbed a take-away and cuddled up on his sofa, watching old movies. Mia was there but sequestered herself in her room, so she didn’t have to ‘witness the bizarre dating rituals of old people’. There hadn’t been much for her to witness though – they’d both fallen asleep in front of the television around eleven o’clock. The next time either of them woke it was nearing 1 am, and Rafael led Olivia down the hall and into his bed, the two falling straight back to sleep.

It was a juggling act, but they made time to grab lunch together at least once through the week. They often had lunch together, in one or the other’s offices. But since they became a couple they resolved to have one proper, sit down lunch away from either of their offices every week; somewhere with table service. In addition, every Thursday, Rafael and Mia had a standing invitation to spaghetti night at the Benson household, which they accepted more often than not. Noah quickly became attached to Mia and she became his new favourite playmate, often being invited on outings on Saturdays when Olivia wasn’t working. Sometimes it was the park, but they’d also been to the zoo, the science museum, a trampoline park and a matinee showing of _Aladdin_ on Broadway.

Sundays were the one day of the week they usually didn’t see each other. For Rafael and Mia, Sundays meant Mass and brunch with Lucia. Mia’s mother, Maria had drifted from the church during her college years, much like Rafael himself, but his mother insisted it would be good for Mia to start attending again. Both Rafael and Mia tried to protest but, in the end, had capitulated. There was no arguing with Lucia Barba when she got an idea in her head; not if you wanted a quiet life. So off they went every Sunday without fail. Mia always lit a candle for her mom and the pancakes they had at the diner afterwards made sitting through the lengthy homily worth it.

One Sunday, as they entered the diner, Rafael spotted someone sat in their booth. A short, stocky man with jet black hair, nervously wringing his hands. He was about to accost a waitress to complain when Mia put her hand on his arm. He followed the young girl’s gaze to see his mother breeze past them towards the table. Rafael’s eyebrows rose as he watched the man’s eyes light up upon seeing Lucia.

“Who is that?” Rafael asked Mia.

The teenager shrugged. “I don’t know him. But he sure seems to know _Tía_ Lucia pretty well,” she said, as the man stood and greeted Lucia, taking her hand and placing a gentle kiss on her cheek.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People have been asking 'has Lucia got a boyfriend?' Think back to chapter 4 (or go back and re-read if you wish) when Olivia went to break the news about the accident to her... and who it was that answered the door.

_“Who is that?” Rafael asked Mia._

_The teenager shrugged. “I don’t know him. But he sure seems to know Tía Lucia pretty well,” she said, as the man stood and greeted Lucia, taking her hand and placing a gentle kiss on her cheek…_

* * *

 

Rafael groaned. He’d been afraid of something like this. Over the past few months, his mother had always seemed to have plans, which in itself wasn’t particularly unusual. What was unusual, however, was how cagey she was about them. She refused to be drawn on what she was doing or who she was doing it with. Now he knew why. His mother was dating. That would certainly explain the flowers he’d spotted on her fireplace the other week.

A tug on his arm brought him back to the present. Mia was two steps ahead of him and dragging him through the diner. Before he had time to gather his thoughts, they arrived at the table and his mother was introducing them.

“Mickey, this is my son Rafi and my great-niece, Mia. Rafi, Mia, this is Mickey, my…”

“Boyfriend?” Mia suggested with a smirk when Lucia faltered over how to introduce him. She held out her hand. “Hi.”

“Nice to meet you, Mia,” Mickey said, taking her hand and shaking it while ignoring her comment. He then turned to Rafael, offering his hand to the younger man. “It’s good to meet you too, Rafael. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Rafael shook Mickey’s hand. The man had a strong grip; one his _abuelo_ would have been proud of. He had spent hours schooling a young Rafael in the art of a proper handshake; believing that being equipped with one helped convey confidence, trustworthiness and sincerity. “I wish I could say the same,” he quipped, shooting his mother a sideways glance.

Lucia rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. “Don’t start, Rafi. Or I may have to start asking more probing questions about you and Olivia.” She raised an eyebrow, daring her son to challenge her.

“Let’s just order, shall we,” Rafael said, sliding into the booth next to Mia. While he and Olivia hadn’t been deliberately keeping their relationship a secret, they hadn’t announced to anyone, his mother included, that they were dating. The only person they had told was Mia, despite Noah’s question about tonsil hockey, which Olivia had – thankfully – dodged expertly. But Rafael knew his mother suspected their friendship had developed into something more.

“Hmm. I thought so,” Lucia smirked

Mia shook her head at the absurdity of the situation – two fully grown, supposedly mature adults hiding their dating lives from the other – before turning her attention to the menu. “I think I’ll have the Belgian Dark Chocolate Mousse Pancakes.”

“Too much sugar,” Rafael replied automatically.

Mia pretended to pout, and Rafael smirked at her. They had this same exchange every week. Mia would request either those or the Banana and Nutella Crepes, and Rafael would say no on the grounds of their ridiculously high sugar and calorie content. But Mia kept on asking for it because it wound him up. She knew that in the unlikely event he did ever agree she’d never be able to eat it all. It had just become another of their inside jokes.

“Okay then, I’ll have the strawberry and banana French toast and some fresh orange juice.” Which was what she always ended up choosing.

“That sounds good,” Mickey said. “I may join you.”

Rafael closed his menu, placing it back in its stand “Waffles for me today, I think.”

Mickey turned to Lucia. “What about you, babe?”

Rafael clenched his jaw at the term of endearment that Mickey used to address his mother and waited for her to rebuke him for it. But to his surprise, she turned and smiled at the man as she answered.

“Oh, that’s easy. Blueberry pancakes.”

“Tía Lucia always has blueberry pancakes,” Mia explained. “Oh, which reminds me, Rafa, we should bring Liv and Noah here.”

Rafael and Mia had only joined Olivia and Noah for breakfast twice, but like his fondness for garlic bread, Noah made sure everyone knew that his favourite pancake flavour was blueberry. Rafael ignored his mother’s raised eyebrow and jotted down everyone’s meal requests on his phone. He went to the counter to place their order, and as he waited in line, shot a quick message to Olivia.

_My mother is dating! She brought him to brunch!_

He was on his way back to the table when he received her reply.

_Be nice! L x_

He frowned briefly; he’d been expecting a lengthier response. Thinking she must be busy with Noah, he pocketed his phone and slid back into the booth. Mia and Mickey were discussing baseball; he was a Mets fan, but Mia followed the Yankees. They had fallen into an easy banter and Rafael marvelled at Mia’s ability to get along with almost anyone.

Their drinks arrived, and Rafael watched as his mother smiled and laughed through the conversation. He tried to remember when the last time she’d truly looked this relaxed and content. Certainly, before his _abuelita_ had passed away, possibly even longer. He had no doubt that she’d been happy with her life; she was never one to pine for what could have been, but this new relationship seemed to have given her something that he hadn’t even realised she’d been lacking.

“What do you think Rafael?” Mickey asked, trying to draw him into the conversation.

“Baseball isn’t really my thing,” he replied, taking a sip of his coffee, “but I’m going to go with Mia and say Yankees.”

“Good job too,” Mia interjected. “I might be able to forgive you if you said Mets, but it would break Noah’s heart.”

“Noah is the son of Olivia,” Lucia explained to Mickey, “Rafi’s _friend_.”

“ _Mami…”_ Rafael sighed. He didn’t know what frustrated him more. The emphasis on the word friend, or the fact that she’d clearly spoken to the older man about this before.

“You can say what you like, _mijo_ , but a mother knows.”

“So, Mickey, do you get to many baseball games?” Rafael asked, ignoring his mother. He wouldn’t outright lie to her, but he didn’t want to reveal his relationship without discussing it with Olivia first.

Mickey shook his head. “I’m more of an armchair supporter. With the business, it’s difficult to find the time to actually go to the stadium.”

Just then the waitress appeared, carrying a large tray. She placed it on the table next to them and picked up too plates. “Two Strawberry and Banana French Toasts?” she asked.

Mia raised her hand. “One here,” and once the waitress had placed her plate in front of her, indicated to Mickey, “and one there.”

The waitress turned back to the tray and picked up the remaining two meals. “The blueberry pancakes?”

“They’re mine,” Lucia said, taking the plate from the young girl.

“Then yours must be the waffles?” she asked Rafael.

“Thank you.”

There was silence for a few moments, as the four tucked in to their brunch.

“Mmm,” Mickey said, after several forkfuls. “This is really good. Thanks for the suggestion, Mia.”

She smiled at him. “No problem.”

“So, you own your own business?” Rafael asked, keen to know more about this man his mother had been seeing. Maybe he could get Olivia to run a background check. No, she’d give him some spiel about protocol and misuse of the system. Carisi on the other hand, yes… Rafael could probably talk him into it.

Mickey nodded. “It’s a building firm. I started it about ten years ago; when the physical strain of being a builder started to become too much for me. I’d inherited some money from my father, so I had the means, as well as the knowledge and contacts to start up on my own.”

“Mickey came to quote on some jobs at school,” Lucia continued. “In the end, the board chose to use another firm and when I rang him to explain, he asked me to dinner.”

“Aww,” gushed Mia. “That’s so sweet.”

Rafael barely held in his eye-roll.

* * *

After they’d eaten, the Lucia and Mia went to the restroom leaving Rafael to the settle the check. Mickey placed his hand on Rafael’s arm as he reached for his wallet. “I’d like to pay half,” the older man offered.

Rafael nodded, taking the money Mickey handed to him. He added some further bills to the pile and handed them to the waitress, along with a tip for her service.

“I’m sorry if you were surprised by my being here today,” Mickey continued, as Rafael pocketed his wallet. “I did try and tell your mother that it would be better if you had some warning, but… well, you know your mother.”

“Oh, I do,” agreed Rafael, finishing his coffee. “Once she gets an idea in her head, there’s no dissuading her.”

“We don’t have to be best friends Rafael, but I do hope you and I can at least be civil, for your mother’s sake.” The older man held out his hand.

Rafael considered Mickey’s words. He could do that. As long as his mother was happy, he could play nice with the man she’d chosen to be with.

He took Mickey’s hand and shook it. “I think we can do that. Just don’t…” he swallowed, “don’t hurt her.”

“I have no intention of hurting her, I can promise you that. And, if I ever do, you have my permission to let your friends at NYPD make my life a living hell.”

Rafael chuckled at the thought of setting Carisi or Rollins on the man if he wronged his mother. Somehow, he couldn’t see Olivia agreeing to it.


	15. Chapter 15

Later that afternoon, Olivia and Noah were walking through the park towards the playground when her phone began vibrating in her pocket. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she let out a small sigh as she saw the caller ID. Rafael. After his text message earlier, she knew why he was calling. He’d found out his mother was seeing someone and, naturally, wanted to talk about it. The problem was, she didn’t know how to explain to him that she already knew without upsetting him.

She led Noah to the side of the path and answered the call. “Hi.”

“Hi. You busy?”

“We’re just at the park; Noah picked Lucky Charms for breakfast, so we need to run off some surplus energy.”

Rafael chuckled lightly. Olivia let Noah choose his breakfast on a Sunday as a treat. Most of the time he chose something relatively sensible but occasionally his love for sugar took over.

“You fancy some company? We’re about ten blocks away.” He and Mia had finished brunch with his mother and Mickey and were enjoying a leisurely walk home. He’d rang Olivia to see if he and Mia could go round – he needed her perspective on his mother’s bombshell, but he was happy to go to the park instead especially as it was such a nice day.

“Sure.” She couldn’t deny him and, the longer she put off the discussion, the harder it would be to have. Best to get it over with. “See you in a few minutes.”

* * *

Olivia and Noah sat on a bench in the shade of a tree while they waited for Rafa and Mia. Noah fidgeted next to her, desperate to go and play but the playground was busy, and Olivia wanted to wait somewhere where Rafael could spot them easily. Thankfully, it wasn’t too long before they arrived.

Olivia stood and waved as she saw them approaching. “Hi.” She greeted Mia with a quick hug as Noah ran to Rafa, jumping up into his arms.

“Hi, Uncle Rafa!”

“ _Hola, mijo_ ,” Rafael replied, before setting Noah back on his feet. The little boy headed straight for Mia; laughing as he ran in circles around her. With Noah suitably distracted, Rafael turned to his girlfriend and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. “Hi.”

She smiled at him. “Hey. How’re you doing?”

Rafael shrugged. “Still a little stunned,” he replied. It had been over an hour and a half since his mother had introduced him to her new boyfriend and he was still struggling to get his head around it. “She gave us absolutely no warning. Not even an inkling that she was planning to introduce us to this man today. I mean, neither of us had a clue he even existed.”

Mia shook her head. She really didn’t want to listen to Rafael complain about his mother’s dating life any more. She’d suffered through enough of it on their walk from the diner to the park. She turned to Noah. “Fancy a swing, _amigo_?”

“Yeah!”

She looked at Olivia. “That okay, Liv?”

“Can we, Momma? Please?” Noah was practically bouncing up and down at the prospect.

Olivia looked over at the playground. It was busy; families taking advantage of the unseasonably sunny weather. “I don’t know…”

Rafael laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. “They’ll be okay, Liv and they’ll stay within the fence.” He turned to Mia, “Won’t you?”

Mia nodded. Rafael had mentioned that Noah had been snatched late last year and that Olivia was still a little wary of letting him out of her sight. “I’ll keep an eye on him, Liv. I promise.”

Olivia glanced a Rafael who gave her a reassuring nod. “Okay,” she agreed. She bent down and ruffled Noah’s hair. “Stay close to Mia, okay?”

Noah nodded, grabbing Mia’s hand and dragging her towards the swings. “Come on, Mia.”

With the kids occupied on the playground, Rafael took Olivia’s hand and led her to a nearby bench, where they had a good view of the playground. They sat down, and Rafael leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees. After a few moments of watching push Noah back and forth on the swing – and being satisfied that he was in good hands – Olivia turned to Rafael.

“You okay?”

“I have no idea what to do with all this Liv,” he admitted. “My father’s been dead seventeen years and not once has my mother ever dated before.”

Olivia doubted that – seventeen years was a long time for a woman to be on her own – but she felt it best to keep that information to herself. She extracted her hand from his and placed it on his back.

“What is it that bothers you about this, Rafa?” He raised his eyebrows; surely that should be obvious. “No, what I mean is, is it the fact that your mother is dating or is it Mickey specifically?”

“Well, he seems nice enough but-” Suddenly Rafael’s eyes snapped to Olivia’s. “I didn’t tell you his name was Mickey.”

“Y- you didn’t?” ‘Oh, well, that’ one way to tell him,’ Olivia thought, fixing her gaze on her shoes. She steadfastly avoided eye contact with Rafael, even as he eyed her suspiciously.

“You knew, didn’t you?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

She nodded contritely. “Rafa, I’m sorry. I–”

“You knew she was seeing someone and you didn’t tell me?” He stood and began pacing in front of the bench. “How could you keep something like that from me?”

“She asked me not to say anything,” Olivia explained, standing and stepping into his path.

He stopped in front of her and raised an eyebrow. That wasn’t a good enough explanation.

Olivia sighed, this wasn’t going well. “Your mother promised me she would tell you. I gave her a bit of leeway and when you never mentioned it, I thought maybe things hadn’t worked out between the two of them.” She reached for his hand, interlacing their fingers. “I never intended to keep it from you for this long. Honestly, Rafa, until I got your text earlier, I’d forgotten all about him. I am sorry.”

Rafael nodded. While he wasn’t happy that she’d kept it from him, he could maybe understand why. But there was still something he needed to know. He sat back down on the bench, pulling Olivia with him. “How long?”

“Sorry?”

“When did you find out?” Rafael clarified.

“He was at your mother’s house when I went to tell her… about Maria,” she admitted.

“Liv, that was three months ago. How could you–? Wait! That was like, what 8 am?”

Olivia bit her lip and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. She gave him a pointed look.

“Wha-?” Then, his eyes went wide as he comprehended her meaning. “Oh my God!”

“Rafa, calm down.”

He shook his head as he tried to rid his brain of the mental images that had taken up residence there. “Calm down? Liv… My mother is slee-” he began but was cut off by the sound of a familiar voice screaming from the direction of the playground,

“NOAH!”


	16. Chapter 16

Rafael sighed for the third time in as many minutes as he sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair. It had only been three months since the painful loss of his cousin, yet here he was again. Another hospital waiting room. Another of his loved ones in peril.

He looked towards the double doors that Olivia and Noah had disappeared through almost two hours ago. He wished someone would come out and tell him what was going on. Olivia had sent a message after about forty-five minutes to let them know they were sending Noah for some x-rays but since then… nothing. He’d asked the receptionist for an update about ten minutes ago, but she refused to give him any information since he wasn’t listed as an emergency contact on Noah’s medical file. He understood the confidentiality issues, but he needed to know what was happening. He needed some reassurance. And so did Mia.

He glanced at the teenager who was slumped in the chair at the other end of the row from him. She’d made it perfectly clear upon their arrival at the hospital that she didn’t want to sit with him and he couldn’t really blame her. He hadn’t handled the events of the afternoon very well at all…

***

_Rafael’s stomach dropped as he heard Mia’s terrified scream from the playground, and he shot to his feet, following Olivia as she ran towards her son. When she stopped dead in front of the climbing frame, he almost ran into the back of her._

_Olivia’s hand flew to her mouth. “Noah!” she gasped._

_He was lying prone on the ground, blood seeping from his head and his arm bent on at an awkward angle. The sight of him like that made Rafael want to be sick. Mia was kneeling down next to him, her face ashen with shock._

_Olivia rushed to her son’s side. She shook his shoulder gently, and when he let out a dazed groan, Olivia sighed with relief; at least he wasn’t unconscious. She pulled out her phone and dialled 911. Rafael knelt at Noah’s other side and pulled his handkerchief from his pocket. He pressed it against Noah’s head wound to try and stop the bleeding._

_“Liv! I’m so sorry,” Mia started. “He just fell.”_

_Olivia offered her a small smile as she held up a hand. The 911 dispatcher had answered. “This is Lieutenant Olivia Benson, NYPD. I need an ambulance at Rudin playground at the west side of Central Park, 96th Street. My son has fallen from the climbing frame.”_

_“You were supposed to be watching him!” Rafael said to Mia sharply, as Olivia continued to speak to the operator, detailing Noah’s injuries and what had happened._

_“I was!” Mia protested. “I did.”_

_“Then how the hell did this happen?”_

_“He just fell Raf, I swear! One minute he was hanging from the bars making monkey noises and the next he was on the ground.”_

_Olivia hung up with the 911 operator. “Ambulance is on its way.”_

_Noah tried to roll over, but Olivia placed a hand on his back to still him. “You need to stay still sweet boy, okay? An ambulance is on the way and we’re going to get you to the hospital.”_

_“It hurts, Momma,” he whimpered. The shock was wearing off and he was beginning to feel the pain of his injuries._

_“Liv, I’m really sorry! I tried to get to him, but I wasn’t fast enough.”_

_“You should have been right there next to him. He’s only five.”_

_“Rafa!” Olivia couldn’t believe that he was speaking to Mia that way. She understood that he was panicked; she was too but showing it in the way that he was wouldn’t help the situation. “Can you go and wait for the ambulance please?”_

_“I’d rather stay with you and Noah.”_

_“It’s okay, Liv. I can go,” Mia offered._

_“No, I want you to stay. Talk to Noah, we need to make sure he doesn’t fall asleep. Tell him some more of those ridiculous jokes.”_

_“You hate it when I tell him those jokes.” They were stupid jokes, not even funny really, but Noah dissolved into fits of giggles every time she told them._

_“But Noah loves it. Talk to him.” She turned back to Rafa. “The ambulance. Please, Rafa.”_

_He stood reluctantly and stalked off to the entrance of the park. The ambulance didn’t take long; arriving about ten minutes after Rafael reached the gate. He led the EMTs to the playground and found Mia lying on the ground facing Noah. She was stroking his hair and talking about what colour cast he should choose for his arm._

_As a precaution, Noah was put on a backboard in case the fall had caused any trauma to his back or neck, and his arm was secured against his body before he was loaded in the back of the ambulance._

_“Where are you taking him?”_

_“Mount Sinai.”_

_“We’ll meet you there,” Rafael told Olivia just before the EMT closed the door. Turning to Mia, he grabbed her arm and pulled her into a waiting taxi._

_They arrived at the hospital just in time to see Noah being wheeled in through the ambulance bay. Rafael and Mia tried to follow, but the nurse waved them away, directing them to the waiting room. He sat down, and Mia made of point of choosing a chair as far away from him as she could. Then she pulled out her phone and put in her earbuds, making it perfectly clear that she did not wish to speak to him._

***

“Mr Barba?” Rafael looked up to see a nurse at his side. “Ms Benson has asked me to come out and give you an update on Noah.”

Noticing the nurse, Mia pulled out her earbuds and listened, but kept her eyes on her phone avoiding eye-contact.

“Noah has been cleared of any neck and back injuries. They’re going to set his arm and then clean and close the wound on his head and then he should be able to go home.”

“When can we see him?”

“As soon as the doctor has finished up. It shouldn’t be too long.”

Mia shuffled along the seats, unable to temper her curiosity any longer. “He’s going to be okay, right?”

“You must be Mia?” the nurse assumed. Mia nodded. “Olivia said you did a great job keeping him awake and calm today.”

Mia shrugged. “I just told him some jokes and talked about nonsense with him.”

“Sounds like you Olivia was right then.” She placed a hand on Mia’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about Noah. He’ll be running around again in no time.” She offered the teenager a small smile before turning back to Rafael. “I’ll let you know when you can go back to see him.”

The nurse turned and left, and Mia slid back across the seats, re-establishing the distance between her and Rafael.

“Mia,” Rafael began but was cut off by the look she gave him – a mixture of hurt and anger. It almost broke his heart. She shook her head at him, put her earbuds back in and turned away.


	17. Chapter 17

It was almost another hour before Noah’s wounds had been treated, and Rafael and Mia were allowed back to see him. They found him tucking into a bowl of strawberry ice cream, a massive smile on his face.

“Someone’s feeling better,” Rafael commented as he entered the bay. “You okay, _mijo_?”

Noah flashed Rafael a toothy grin. “The doctor says I might have a scar on my head; like Harry Potter!” Noah had seen the books on Mia’s shelf and, having heard of the story from some of the older children at school, had asked to borrow them. Both Mia and Olivia agreed, so Rafael had been reading ‘ _The Sorcerer’s Stone_ ’ to Noah whenever he was present at bedtime.

“As long as you don’t end up setting a python on anyone the next time we go to the zoo.”

“You’re funny, Uncle Rafa.”

“Yeah, he’s just a regular riot,” deadpanned Mia from where she was lurking near the curtain.

“Mia!”

“Hey _amigo_.” She approached the bed cautiously, eyes raking over the boy who she had started to think of as a little brother. She winced as she saw his arm in a sling, remembering the pain from her own recent fracture and when her gaze reached the gash on his forehead, she had to look away, the guilt being too much for her.

She couldn’t stop reliving the moment Noah slipped from the monkey bars, wondering if there was anything she could have done to prevent it. She was no more than three feet away when his hands began to slip, but she couldn’t reach him in time. She watched in slow motion as he plummeted to the ground; she could see what was going to happen, but she was powerless to stop it.

Maybe Rafael was right, maybe she should have been watching him more carefully, stood closer to him as he swung along. She could have told him the monkey bars were a bad idea or kept him on the swings for longer. She could have stopped it.

“I’m sorry, Noah,” she whispered, placing her hand on his uninjured arm. “I’m so sorry.”

Noah looked at his mom, confused about why Mia was apologising. You only needed to apologise when you’d done something wrong and she hadn’t.

“Mia,” Olivia spoke gently. “I told you before, it wasn’t your fault.”

“That seems to be a matter of opinion,” Mia replied, scowling at Rafael.

“Mia I-” Rafael opened his mouth to speak but Olivia held up a hand. The tension between the two cousins was thick – there was definitely a conversation to be had there, but here was not the place to do it. It would also help if they could both gain a bit of perspective, something that Olivia was sure would come with time, as the adrenaline rush of the afternoon wore off.

“Mia, honey, why don’t you take Noah and grab a couple of sodas or something?” Olivia fumbled in her purse, pulling out a couple of one-dollar bills and handing them to Mia. “I think I saw some vending machines just down the hall.”

Olivia helped Noah down from the bed and the little boy took Mia’s hand and led her out of the cubicle. When they had rounded the corner, out of sight, Rafael turned to Olivia.

“She hates me,” he said with a heavy sigh.

Olivia shook her head. “She doesn’t hate you.”

He gave a snort of derision. “Not far off.”

“Well, not to make you feel worse but you were a little harsh on her at the park.”

“Yeah, I know.” He sighed again, dropping his head into hands. “I was an ass.”

“Yeah, you were.” Rafael side-eyed her, surprised by her vehement agreement with him. Olivia raised an eyebrow in response. She wasn’t going to sugar-coat it for him. He _had_ been unfair to Mia and there was no point pretending otherwise. “What I don’t understand is why.”

“I’m not quite sure I understand it myself but seeing Noah lying there… all that blood…” He shook his head, not wanting to visualise it. “I think it was the shock but how do I get Mia to understand that?”

“By explaining it, like you just did to me.” She placed a hand on his back, scarcely able to believe she was having to give Rafael Barba advice on communicating. He was an excellent orator, captivating jurors and spectators alike with his impassioned arguments in the courtroom. He never had a problem expressing himself… unless it was personal - talking about feelings, having difficult conversations – then he turned into something resembling a nervous first-year law-student “Everything will be fine if you just use your words, Rafa.”

“If you say so,” he replied, not sounding completely convinced.

“It will,” Olivia assured. “Trust me.”

By the time Mia and Noah returned from the vending machine, sodas in hand, the doctor had delivered Noah’s prescription, so they were ready to go. Rafael ordered them an Uber and within twenty minutes they pulled up outside Olivia’s building. Olivia opened the car door and had one foot on the sidewalk before Rafael’s voice stopped her.

“Liv…? Don’t I need Noah’s-”

“Oh right. Of course.”

She handed him Noah’s prescription. On their drive from the hospital, Rafael had offered to go to the drugstore and collect it for her because Noah was getting sleepy – the last dose of pain medication he’d been given finally kicking in – and she just wanted to get him home and in bed.

“Are you sure you don’t mind picking this up?” she asked.

“Not at all. You get him inside and comfortable and Mia and I will take care of this,” he assured.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“We’ll pick up some dinner too. Italian okay?” He and Mia may have a had a large brunch, but it was nearing six o’clock and they’d all missed lunch with being at the hospital.

“Yeah, fine. You know what we like.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and waved goodbye to Mia, before getting out of the car and leading Noah inside their building allowing the Uber to continue on to the drugstore before Mia could object and ask to stay with Olivia.

* * *

As he and Mia were waiting at the drugstore for Noah’s prescription to be filled, it occurred to Rafael that this might be a good time to try and talk to her. He needed to apologise for his behaviour earlier at the park, and here she couldn’t retreat from him - there was nowhere for her to go – and he was fairly confident she wouldn’t cause a scene in public.

She was sat, slumped in one of the chairs in the waiting area, her head buried in her phone. Rafael waved a hand in front of her face to get her attention and she looked up, pulling out an earbud.

“Is it ready?”

“No. Mia, I…”

Not wanting to hear what he had to say, the teenager glared at him and moved to return the earbud to her ear, but Rafael’s hand on her arm stilled her movements

“Mia. I know you’re upset with me. And I don’t blame you. But can you please put your phone down and just listen to me for a moment?”

Somewhat reluctantly, she did as he asked, wrapping her earphones around her device and sliding into the pocket of her jeans. She raised her head and looked him squarely in the eye. At that moment, she looked so much like her mother that Rafael stumbled over his words again.

“I…”

Mia huffed. “I thought you wanted to talk to me?”

“I do. I’m just not very good at this….” He took a deep breath. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Whatever cutting response Mia had prepared, died on her lips. Was he actually apologising?

“I shouldn’t have been so abrupt with you in the park. I know it wasn’t your fault. It was an accident. I know that. But at the time, when I saw him lying there, the blood pooling onto the ground underneath him I… I was just so scared.”

“So was I,” Mia admitted. “Every time I close my eyes I can see him falling and hear the thud as he hit the ground. I should have been watching him!” The tears came then, the ones that she had been holding in since the moment Noah fell.

“Oh, _sirena_. Come here.” Rafael reached for her, pulling her into a hug. “It was not your fault,” he repeated. “Do you hear me?”

Mia sniffed and nodded against his shoulder.

“I am sorry I made you feel that way. I panicked, and I lashed out at you. I am so sorry Mia. Can you forgive me?”

She nodded again. “I forgive you, Raf.”

“Good, because I want to take Liv out. On a proper date, as our first one got derailed by work. And she’ll need a babysitter for Noah.”

Mia pulled back and stared at him, almost unbelievingly. “M-me?”

“Yeah, why not?” he shrugged.

“You really think Liv would trust me after today?”

“I may be getting old, Mia, but my ears are still fully functional. I heard Liv tell you that it wasn’t your fault.”

“Yeah but-”

“But nothing,” Rafael interrupted. He decided to try a different tack. “Look, it’s your choice. If you don’t want to babysit, that’s fine. I’ll ask _Mami_ to sit with you both.”

Mia's eyes widened momentarily before a wry smile appeared. “But then you’d have to actually tell her you’re dating Liv…”

“I think that ship has sailed, don’t you?” he sighed. “As much as I would like to think otherwise, _Mami_ is well aware of the status of mine and Liv’s relationship.”

Mia giggled. “Yeah, she _so_ is!”

“So, how about it?” Rafael pressed. “Are you going to watch Noah for us?”


	18. Chapter 18

“Okay, so I’ve left some emergency numbers on the fridge,” Olivia said, as she emerged from her bedroom and into the living room, putting her earrings in as she walked. It was three weeks after Noah’s fall and she and Rafael were finally having their first official date, with Mia babysitting. “But you’ve got both our cells and Lucia’s if you need us.”

Mia nodded, where she sat on the sofa with Noah, _Paw Patrol_ playing on the television. “And his bedtime is seven-thirty?” She glanced at the clock, it was almost seven now, so they wouldn’t have much time to do any of the things she’d planned.

“He can stay up a bit later as it’s the weekend, but I’d like him to be in bed by nine.”

“Okay. I can do that,” Mia agreed. “You look great, by the way. That dress is cute.”

“Yeah,” added Noah. “You look pretty, Momma.”

Olivia looked down at her outfit and smiled. When Rafael had asked her if he could reschedule their date, she’d rummaged through her closet looking for something to wear. Nothing had jumped out at her though and she actually realised she owned far too many formal, black clothes. So, she’d hit the shops and bought several colourful tops, some for work and some for casual wear, before making her way to the dress aisle. The navy floral lace dress had been hiding at the back of one of the rails, the only one of its kind left. And in her size too. She’d fallen in love with it just seeing it on the hanger, and that feeling had only deepened when she’d tried it on. Its scalloped hem fell delicately just above her knees and the cinched waist, combined with sweetheart neckline, flattered her figure, creating a stylish, elegant silhouette. For tonight’s date, she’d paired the dress with strappy black heels, curled her hair and applied a little makeup, going for a minimal look.

“Thanks,” she said, twirling slowly so the skirt flared out a little. “I like it.”

“So do I,” added Rafael as he entered the apartment. He’d nipped out to collect dinner for Mia and Noah. He placed the take-out bag on the coffee table before turning to Olivia. He thought she looked stunning and for a moment, when he’d entered the apartment, his heart stopped beating. He took her hand and kissed her cheek. “You look beautiful,” he complimented.

Olivia pressed her lips together. His response sent little sparks of excitement right down her spine to settle in the pit of her stomach. Her lips curved into a smile. “You don’t look too bad yourself,” she said, raking her eyes over him. He was dressed in a grey suit and white shirt – open at the collar – no tie and was holding a bunch of long-stemmed red roses, tied with string in a rustic fashion.

He held out the flowers. “For you.”

She lifted them to her face and inhaled deeply. “They’re gorgeous, Rafa. Thank you.”

Mia couldn’t help but smile at her cousin and Olivia. She may be averse to seeing them kissing, but the way they looked at each other and the casual touches they shared was kind of cute.

“You ready to go?” Rafael asked.

“Almost,” Liv replied. “Just let me grab my purse.” She looked around, unsure where to place the flowers.

“I’ll take those for you,” Mia offered. “I’ll put them in some water.”

As Olivia went about hunting for her purse, Rafael picked up the take-out bag and followed Mia to the kitchen. “Have you two got everything you need?”

“Well, you’ve just brought dinner, and there’s like a tonne of ice cream in the freezer. We’ll be fine.”

Once the roses were in some water – courtesy of the washing up bowl in Olivia’s sink – Rafael helped locate plates, cutlery and glasses and poured two glasses of lemonade. Mia eyed him as she began plating up dinner for her and Noah. His familiarity with Olivia’s kitchen still took her by surprise at times, even after all these months.

“Just so you know,” Rafael said, returning from placing the glasses of lemonade on the table. “Liv’s probably going to call a couple of times so, if you could keep your phone nearby with the ringer on – and answer when she calls – that would be appreciated.”

Mia paused, the spoon of pasta she was holding hovering in mid-air. “Is it because of the park?” she asked, remembering the horror of that day. “Does she not trust me?”

“No, not at all, _sirena_. It’s just that ever since his biological grandmother snatched him, she’s been nervous about leaving him with people… with anyone. She calls Lucy several times a day to check in and she’s worked for Liv for nearly four years. It’s not about you, okay?”

“Rafa’s right.”

They both turned at the sound of Olivia’s voice and Rafa had the decency to blush at being caught talking about her.

“Liv, I was just…”

“I know,” she said, brushing his chest as she stepped into the kitchen. “It’s okay.” While she didn’t like her private thoughts and feelings being discussed with others, she understood why Rafael was telling his cousin these things. She placed her purse on the counter and approached Mia. “It is absolutely nothing to do with you,” she assured, placing her hands on the teenager’s shoulders. “I have issues whoever I leave him with. Issues that I am trying very hard to overcome, but it’s taking a little longer than I would like.” She knew she needed to relax; that she couldn’t keep Noah in her sights all the time, but that was easier said than done. The fear that someone would take him still rested in the pit of her stomach.

Mia nodded. “Okay. Can I do anything to help?”

“Answer your phone when I call,” Olivia told her with a smile.

Mia nodded. “I will answer. I promise.”

“Thank you.”

Mia returned to plating up their meal as Olivia turned on her heel, picked up her purse and headed out into the living room. She placed a kiss on Noah’s cheek. “Be good for Mia, sweet boy. I love you.”

“I love you too, Momma.”

“We won’t be too late,” Rafael said, kissing Mia’s cheek too before leading Olivia towards the door, his hand on her lower back.

“Have fun!” called Mia, as she placed the plates down on Olivia’s dining table. “Come on, Noah. Dinner’s ready.”

* * *

Olivia was surprised when their Uber pulled up outside _Del Posto_. She knew that was where he’d intended to take her for their original date – the one that had been cancelled, but she wasn’t expecting it tonight. It was a rather upscale establishment, and Rafael wasn’t wearing a tie. She turned to him to ask about that, only to see him pull a tie from his inside pocket – pale yellow with light blue dots – and wrap it around his neck.

“Always prepared, huh?”

He smirked, as he tied the garment with practised ease. “Of course.” He hated wearing ties when he didn’t have to. He found them rather restrictive, which is why he often loosened them when outside the courtroom. But he was willing to suffer through a little discomfort to ensure that his first date was Olivia was as special as it could be.

_Del Posto_ was not the sort of place you could be seen without a tie. It was the flavour of the month as far as New York City restaurants went. It received rave reviews from all the food critics and was fully booked every night of the week, with a month-long waiting list for reservations.

“Either you planned very far ahead, or you know someone,” Olivia commented as they were shown to their table.

“Well, that would be telling, wouldn’t it?”

They ordered their meal – Cajun Chicken Alfredo for Olivia and Sofrito Tiger Prawns for Rafael – and Rafael selected a bottle of very good wine to accompany it.

“Can we have a bottle of the Chinon Cabernet Franc, please? 2012 if you have it?”

“Very good sir,” the waiter nodded and left them alone.

Olivia raised an eyebrow. “That’s a very specific wine choice.”

“The Chinon Vineyard is in the Loire Valley. The vineyard covers nearly 5,000 acres and 19 wine villages. The wines are produced by more than 200 wine growers and come in a variety of textures and flavours. The one I ordered has an intense aroma of wild strawberries and violets.”

“Wow, I’m impressed.”

“I only know so much about it because it holds a special place in my heart. I spent some time near there after I graduated from college. It’s where I decided to take up the job offer from the DA’s office.” Rafael laced their fingers together on the table-top. “If I hadn’t – if I’d followed through on my plan to work in the private sector – I may never have met you. That’s why I chose 2012,” he told her, squeezing her hand, “the year we met.”

A few minutes passed with a comfortable silence between them. They sat holding hands, listening to the relaxing classical music and soaking in the atmosphere until the waiter returned with their wine. He poured a little for Rafael, who took a sip before nodding his approval. The waiter then filled both Rafael’s and Olivia's glasses before making a discreet exit. Olivia immediately picked up her glass to taste the wine Rafael had chosen.

“2012. A very good year,” she said with a smile and a knowing look. It was clear she was talking about more than just the wine.

“A very good year, indeed,” Rafael agreed.

* * *

“Right, Noah,” Mia declared as the credits to _Big Hero 6_ rolled. “Bedtime.”

“Awww! But-”

“No buts. Your mom said you had to be in bed by nine, and it’s five-to, so come on.” She stood from the sofa and held out her hand. “Teeth, then into bed.”

“But Miiiiiiaaaaaaa!” Noah pouted and folded his arms.

Mia shook her head, kneeling down in front of him. “Noah if you’re not in bed by nine, your mom is going to be cross and won’t let me babysit you again.”

Noah huffed, but reluctantly took Mia’s hand and allowed her to lead him down the hall to the bathroom. Once his teeth were brushed – and checked – he crawled into bed, grabbing Eddie the Elephant on the way, and pulled up the covers. His eyes widened in surprise as Mia picked up _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_ from his bedside table and perched on the edge of his bed.

Seeing his look of surprise, Mia smiled. “Your mom said you had to be in bed by nine, she didn’t say anything about being asleep. I’m sure we’ve got time for one chapter.”

Noah grinned and snuggled further down into the blankets as Mia found the page indicated by his bookmark and began to read.

“ _Chapter Five: The Whomping Willow. The end of the summer holidays came too quickly for Harry’s liking. He was looking forward to getting back to Hogwarts, but this month at The Burrow had been the happiest of his life…”_

In the end, Noah was asleep before they got halfway through the chapter. Mia quietly slipped off the bed and snapped a quick picture of the little boy who was now snoring softly, texting it to Olivia.

_In bed by 9 and asleep shortly after. M x_

She hadn’t been asked to send it, but she thought it might help Olivia feel better about being away from Noah. The older woman’s response, when it came several minutes later, confirmed that it had.

_Thanks. I appreciate it. L xx_

* * *

“Noah’s asleep,” Olivia told Rafael with a smile as she put her phone back in her purse. They had finished their meal and just ordered dessert when Mia’s text arrived.

Rafael looked at his watch. “Not bad.” He was pleased Mia had headed Olivia’s instructions about bedtime. He’d wondered if Noah would try to push her to extend or ignore it altogether, but he was glad the teenager stuck to her guns.

“She’s a good kid,” Olivia commented.

As Rafael was about to respond, the pianist began his second set of the evening and several couples made their way onto the small dance floor in the corner of the room.

“Would you like to dance?" he asked. Before dessert arrives?”

“You dance?” Olivia replied, not quite able to believe what she was hearing. Never in all the years they’d been friends, had she known him to dance. Not even at the political shindigs that their jobs forced them to attend.

“I’m Cuban, remember? Dancing’s in my blood.” He stood and rounded the table. Olivia took his outstretched hand and allowed him to lead her onto the dancefloor.

He pulled her towards him and wrapped an arm around her. His other hand took hers and placed it on his chest, as she rested her cheek against his. The music was a soft, slow piece, so there wasn’t much chance for Rafael to show off his apparent dancing skills, the two of them opting instead to simply sway gently to the music. It was enough. Olivia would rather be pressed closely against Rafael than be spun around the dancefloor.

As she stood there, wrapped in his arms, Olivia came to a realisation. She’d never been the type of woman to get completely lost in a man and had never really understood those who did. But here, now, she knew she was completely and utterly in love with this man. And, if she were ever to lose herself in someone, Rafael would be that person.

Olivia lifted her arms so they both fell around his neck and his hands moved to the small of her back. She wondered if it was too soon to be thinking that way – they hadn’t even been together four months yet – and her head and her heart began fighting an internal war about whether to voice her feelings.


	19. Chapter 19

After their meal, Olivia suggested they take a walk through the park. Rafael was surprised, assuming she’d want to get home to Noah.

“He’s in good hands,” she replied. “Let’s make the most of our child-free night.”

Their evening was going so well, she really didn’t want it to end. There was no reason for it to do so; not yet at least. It was a mild, comfortably temperate evening, neither of them had work in the morning and Noah was being well looked after – she’d phoned Mia when she’d popped to the restroom. She and Rafael could allow themselves a little bit more time, just the two of them.

Rafael couldn’t fault her reasoning and he too was reluctant to see their evening end. So, when the check was paid, Rafael took Olivia’s hand as they left the restaurant, after removing his tie, of course. They walked the few blocks to Columbus Circle and entered the park. They walked slowly, taking in the park by night – a sight they rarely got to experience unless it involved a case.

They stopped by the reservoir and, leaning on the railings, gazed out southwards across the water. The view was completely unrestricted and provided them with a truly breath-taking view of the city’s skyline; the lights from the skyscrapers shining brightly against the evening sky and the moonlight reflecting on the water.

Olivia shuffled closer to Rafael, so their upper arms brushed. While they’d been walking, she’d thought about her feelings for him and whether or not to let him know deep they ran, even after such a short time together.

They weren’t kids anymore. They probably had more life behind them than in front of them. It was part of the reason they had stopped trying to deny the inevitable change in their relationship and chosen to embrace it instead. Chances like this, finding someone so inexplicably perfect for you, didn’t come around often in a lifetime, and certainly not at this stage in their lives. There were some that might argue they were too old, to set in their ways to start afresh, to begin a new relationship, but some forces were just beyond their control. Whether she and Rafael were together or apart, they would love each other anyway. They had, through their six long years of friendship, touched one another’s hearts. They were drawn to each other. They were happier together. They were stronger together.

“I love you.” She spoke softly as she gave voice to her thoughts and feelings, but Rafael heard her loud and clear.

His breath hitched, and he turned towards her to find her looking at him. She was worrying her lower lip, clearly anxious about his reaction. He flashed her a small smile of reassurance. He was in no doubt of his feelings for her. He’d known how deep they ran even before they started dating and he was overjoyed that she felt the same way.

Leaning towards her, Rafael closed the gap between them and placed a gentle, loving kiss on her lips. As they pulled back, he cupped her cheek and returned the sentiment. “I love you too, Liv.”

Rafael pressed his lips against hers once more and, as the kiss deepened, he turned them and pressed Olivia back against the side of the fence. His hands moved to her waist. He held her there, locked between the railings and his body, his hands holding her firmly against him while he slowly explored her lips, the curve of her jaw, the length of her neck. He slid a hand to the small of her back, supporting her when she trembled against him. He knew that feeling, it was burning right through him, his desire for her. His jaw clenched, he held it in check and turned his face into her hair. The soft scent of her shampoo filled his senses. It pulled a low, thick groan out of him.

Olivia’s hands fisted in his jacket. Her face pressed into his shoulder. Her breath came in short, shallow puffs of warm air. His simple touch blazed right through her and left her wanting more. When she could lift her head again, she shook her hair back and found him in much the same state. It had been too long since they’d had any time alone together, their feelings and desires were almost ready to boil over.

She rocked up on the balls of her feet and pressed another kiss to his lips, this one quick, light. “We should get out of here,” she whispered against his lips. “It wouldn’t do for an SVU Lieutenant and an ADA from Sex Crimes to get arrested for public lewdness.”

Rafael nodded. They reluctantly stepped away from the railings and he pulled his phone from his pocket to order an Uber before reaching for her hand and leading her towards the nearest exit.

* * *

The ride back to Olivia’s apartment felt like it took hours, although at just before eleven, with little traffic now on the roads, it only lasted ten minutes. The walk back inside and the ride in the elevator seemed to take just as long. They stood close, hands occasionally brushing, but wisely apart. When they reached her floor, they both sprang quickly out into the hallway. Olivia had her key in her hand before they made the turn down her hall, but Rafael was reaching for her even before she had it in the lock. He turned her around and pulled her flush against him, the door at her back while he explored her mouth. Her hands were in his hair, and his were on her hips. One moved down, palming her thigh where the hem of her dress fell. When it slipped beneath the hem, drawing her dress up, she dropped one of her hands and stilled his movements.

“Rafa, we can’t,” she replied, pulling back breathlessly. Getting caught by her neighbours would be just as embarrassing as getting caught in public.

He rested his forehead against hers, his panting heavily. “We really need to arrange a night away from the kids,” he told her. “I’m sure my mother would love to have them.”

Olivia unlocked the door and stepped inside. “I’m not sure Mia would be quite as enthusiastic.”

“Yeah well, she’ll just have to-”

“Sssh!”

Olivia motioned to the sofa, where Mia lay stretched out, eyes closed and snoring softly. She’d fallen asleep listening to her music if the earbuds she was still wearing were any indication.

“I’d better get her home,” Rafael whispered, approaching the sofa to wake her, but he stopped when he felt Olivia’s hand on his arm. He turned back to her to see her shaking her head.

“Leave her.”

“Liv I…”

Olivia pressed a finger to his mouth to quieten him and retrieved a blanket and pillow from the hall closet. Rafael watched as she placed the pillow on the coffee table and covered Mia with the blanket, careful not to disturb her. Then, she took Rafael’s hand and led him down the hall. Their discussion would be pointless if Mia woke because of it. She ushered Rafael into her bedroom, joining him after she’d checked on Noah. She closed the door behind her as she stepped inside. Rafael was sat on the edge of her bed, elbows resting on his knees.

“I really do think we should go, Liv.”

“Why? Why wake her, when there’s space for both of you and she’s perfectly comfortable where she is? It’s a decent couch Rafa, and the blanket should be plenty warm enough.”

“I’m not doubting the quality of your couch or the level of your hospitality.”

She sat down next to him on the bed. “Then what is it?”

Rafael sighed. He didn’t want to admit it, not wanting to appear too eager. “If I stay here, in this bed, with you, I’m not going to be able to keep my hands myself,” he confessed.

Oliva smiled and cupped his cheek. “Who said you had to?”

“Really?” he asked. “With Noah and Mia down the hall?”

“Noah was in his room last time,” she pointed out. “And Mia has her earbuds in.” She stroked her hand up his leg, her fingers tracing delicate patterns on his thigh. “And if you’re still worried, you’ll just have to be quiet, won’t you?” She ghosted a hand over the growing bulge in his trousers, kissing him to swallow his groan.


	20. Chapter 20

Olivia was whisking eggs in the kitchen when Noah emerged from his room the next morning. She was dressed in a sweater and a pair of jeans, her hair twisted up in a clip. He ran to her, hugging her legs.

“Morning, Momma.”

She bent down to hug him. “Good morning, my love.” She kissed his head. “Did you have fun with Mia last night?”

Noah nodded as his mother returned to making breakfast. “It was really cool.” He walked around the breakfast bar and climbed onto a stool, pulling out the colouring book that Olivia kept up there. “We watched _Big Hero Six_ and ate ice-cream and then at bedtime she read me some more _Harry Potter_.”

Noah had fallen in love with the Harry Potter universe about four chapters into the first book. When he’d first asked to read them, Olivia had wondered if he was too young to appreciate their appeal, but he’d enjoyed the first book more than she’d thought he would. She suspected part of that was down to Rafael’s storytelling – he was rather animated and had distinctive voices for each of the characters. So, it was a little bit of a surprise to hear that he’d let Mia read some of it to him. Especially when she herself was not allowed. The one time she’d offered, Noah insisted it was an ‘Uncle Rafa book’ and that no one else could possibly read it to him.

“Oh? So, is Harry back at Hogwarts yet?” Noah may not have wanted her to read the books to him, but he was always eager to talk about them with her.

“No! Harry and Ron couldn’t get to the train; the barrier to platform 9 ¾ was closed…”

Olivia poured the eggs into the pan, smiling as her son enthusiastically rattled off the details he could remember from the story.

“So, they decided to take Mr Weasley’s flying car instead!”

“You read on without me?” Rafael asked as he entered the kitchen, his hand clutched to his chest in mock hurt that the boy would continue Harry’s adventures with Mia rather than him. Olivia’s eyes raked over him. He looked adorably rumpled, his hair askew and dressed last night’s creased shirt and trousers.

“Uncle Rafa?!” Noah’s eyes lit up as he saw his favourite uncle. “What are you doing here?”

“It was late when Uncle Rafa and I got home last night,” Olivia explained, “so he and Mia stayed over.”

Noah looked around the apartment. “Well then, where’s Mia?” he asked.

Rafael headed straight for the coffee pot, placing his phone on the counter as he passed. “Took the words right out of my mouth, _mijo_.”

“She’s in the shower,” Olivia told them, stirring the scrambled eggs.

Rafael poured himself a cup of coffee and sidled up to Olivia, wrapping his free arm around her. “Good morning.” When she turned her head to look at him, he captured her lips in a sweet kiss.

Olivia’s eyes drifted closed as his lips touched hers. “Mmm. Good morning.”

Rafael turned to lean back against the counter and found himself staring into Noah’s eyes. The little boy had abandoned his crayons and was regarding the couple curiously.

“You kissed Momma,” he observed.

Rafael felt Olivia stiffen next to him and it occurred to him that he and Olivia had never addressed the change in their relationship with Noah. In fact, when he thought back over the few months they’d been together, he realised they’d never kissed in front of him before, so it wasn’t surprising that the boy might be confused by their actions.

Rafael stepped forward and leaned on the breakfast bar, facing Noah. “Yeah, I did, _mijo_.”

“Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?”

Olivia lifted the eggs off the stove, placing them in a warming plate and joined Rafael opposite Noah. “Would that be okay? If Uncle Rafa and I were boyfriend and girlfriend?” She hoped her disdain for those terms didn’t show through. It wasn’t that she didn’t like them, just that she felt a little old to be described as someone’s ‘girlfriend’.

Noah shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” He turned back to his colouring as the two adults shared a look. Olivia shrugged, figuring that if Noah had a problem with their new relationship he would say something. He was still at that age where he said what he thought; his honesty could actually be unintentionally brutal at times.

“I wish Mia would hurry up,” Noah remarked a few moments later. “I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry.” Mia sauntered into the room, her hair still damp from the shower, and took up residence next to Noah.                                                                   

“Guess what Mia; Momma and Uncle Rafa were kissing!”

Mia turned to them and made a face. “Eww! And in front of Noah too. No one should have to witness old people making out, especially not someone as young and innocent as him.”

“Watch it,” Rafael warned. “And we were not making out, I was just giving my girlfriend a good morning kiss.”

“Girlfriend? Does that mean you two are, like, ‘official’ now?” she asked, complete with air quotes.

Rafael and Olivia exchanged a look. Work was still an issue; one they had yet to address. “Within select circles, yes,” Olivia answered cryptically. “Now, how many slices of toast does everyone want?”

* * *

The four of them moved to the table to eat breakfast. It was a lively affair with Rafael and Mia falling into their usual teasing banter and Noah excitedly suggesting things the four of them could do with the rest of their day. When their plates were clear, Noah asked to be excused and dragged Mia into the living room to play.

Rafael helped Olivia transfer the dishes from the table into the kitchen and was about to offer to wash up when his phone vibrated on the counter. He glanced at the screen and frowned at the caller ID. “It’s McCoy,” he told her, picking the device up off the counter. “I’d better take this.”

Olivia nodded, watching him as he walked down the hallway and wondering what business the DA had with Rafael on a Saturday morning. She began clearing away their breakfast dishes, rinsing them and placing them in the dishwasher before wiping down the table and the breakfast bar. When she was finished she was surprised to see Rafael had not returned.

She was on her way to her room to check on him when he stepped through the door of her bedroom into the hallway.

“Hey. I was just coming to check on you. Everything okay?”

“I’m not really sure.” He put his phone back in his pocket and leant against the doorframe. “I’ve been invited to present at the Washington D.C. Sex Crimes Conference. They heard about the case with Optimum Air and want me to speak about it.”

Olivia’s eyes widened. She had been to the D.C conference a few years back – as an attendee not a presenter – it was a prestigious event which often invited presenters who were the best and brightest in their fields. For Rafael to be invited to present was an indication of just how highly thought of he was in the legal arena.

“Rafa, that’s amazing!” She pulled him into a hug, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I’m so proud of you.”

She felt him sigh as he pulled back. “Thanks, I guess.”

She frowned at his tone; he didn’t sound as pleased by the prospect as she thought he would. “You’re not going to turn it down, are you?”

“I don’t want to but…” He shrugged. “It’ll mean Mia staying with _Mami_ for a few days.”

“Ah.” Olivia suddenly understood his reticence. Mia loved her great-aunt, but Lucia had strict rules about screen time and bedtime amongst other things. The last time the teenager had returned from staying with her, she vowed she was never doing it again.

“She’s not going to be happy,” Rafael commented, glancing down the hall to where Mia and Noah sat on the floor around the coffee table with his Lego. She was making what looked like a very intricate house while Noah was doing as he always did; building a robot army.

Olivia watched the two of them, talking and giggling, and considered their situation. Considering the age-gap, they got on well. Mia was protective of Noah and he enjoyed the extra attention she provided. They were good for each other.

“When is it?” she asked. “The conference.”

“Next month. Twenty-first to the twenty-third.”

“What if Mia stayed here?”

Rafael turned back to Olivia. “Are you serious? That would be great. But, what if you catch a case?” It was easy for him to be home most evenings, not so much for her.

“I have a nanny, remember?”

“Right. Yeah. Are you sure you don’t mind?”

Olivia shook her head. “Not at all. I’m more than happy to have her stay. She and Noah get on well enough and she’s a good kid. How much trouble can she be?”

“NOAH!”

Both Olivia and Rafael’s heads whipped round at Mia’s annoyed shout. Her Lego house was in bits and Noah was laughing, one of his robots stood in the middle of the chaos.

“Oh, you think that’s funny, do you?” Mia asked Noah, crawling towards him. He couldn’t answer her, finding his antics far too funny. In fact, he was laughing so much, he didn’t notice the mischievous glint in her eye. It was only when she reached him and began tickling his feet that he realised the mistake he’d made.

“No, Mia, no! Momma, Uncle Rafa, help!” he cried through the giggles.

Rafael raised an eyebrow at her. “What were you saying?”


	21. Chapter 21

Despite the possible giddiness and mayhem of having Mia stay with her and Noah, Olivia stood by her offer to look after the teenager while Rafael was at the conference. He had suggested maybe only going for the first day/evening – he was keynote speaker at the opening night dinner – but Olivia had convinced him to go for the whole thing, saying it would look churlish only to go for his own speech. At first, Mia had bristled at the suggestion that she needed babysitting, but when Rafael did not relent – he would not, under any circumstances, leave a thirteen-year-old alone overnight and definitely not for three nights in a row – and offered her choice between Olivia and Lucia, she quickly agreed to stay with Olivia.

So, just over three weeks later, on the Monday evening of their second week back at school, Rafael dropped Mia off at Olivia’s. The teenager ran up the stairs to the apartment and let herself in using the key Olivia had given her at the start of summer vacation. She’d been concerned that the long days at home alone may give Mia too much time to think so had told her she was free to call round to see Noah and Lucy whenever she wanted. The key was in case they were out – she didn’t want Mia waiting outside or wandering the streets if there was no one home.

Mia dumped her rucksack by the door and greeted Olivia with a hug before allowing Noah to drag her off to his room to show her the rocket ship he’d made at school, leaving Rafael to haul her luggage up the three flights of stairs to Olivia’s apartment.

He dropped the heavy, brightly patterned suitcase just inside Olivia’s door and took a few moments to catch his breath. “She’s only here for three nights, for goodness sake,” he grumbled. “How much stuff does she need?”

“She’s a teenage girl,” Olivia replied with an eye-roll as she pulled some clean linens out of the hallway closet. “They’re incapable of travelling light. I’m sorry the elevator is out of service. Of all the days…”

She walked past him to the sofa bed that she’d pulled out and began to ready the bed for the teenager. Olivia had offered to have Noah sleep in her bed, so Mia could have his room, but she’d declined, insisting the she would be fine in the living room on the sofa bed.

“It’s not your fault. Although, this whole thing would be a damn sight easier if you’d just move in with me.”

It took Rafael a moment to realise he’d spoken aloud. When he did, he took a deep breath, closing his eyes, wishing he could take back his words.

It was an off-the-cuff remark. The exasperated tone that had accompanied it was one borne out of frustration about the inconvenience of the trip and the fact that he’d not seen Olivia much outside of work over the last couple of weeks. Their schedules had been hectic, with work – he’d had back to back court sessions and she’d been on active shooter training and several high-profile cases – so, they’d barely had time to grab a coffee together, let alone talk about anything as major as living together. It hadn’t even been on the agenda – at least not anywhere outside his own head. He knew he wanted the four of them to be a proper family. But now he’d opened his big mouth and just thrown it out there with no warning. He was just grateful that Mia and Noah were sequestered away in his room.

Olivia was just as shocked by his words. She froze, wide-eyed, half-dressed pillow in hand as she tried to comprehend what he’d just said.

“What?”

Rafael sighed. There was no point denying it. She wasn’t asking him to repeat himself because she had misheard. Oh no. She’d heard him loud and clear. He had opened Pandora’s box and now had to face the consequences. “I said, ‘this whole thing would be a damn sight easier if you’d just move in with me’.”

“I… have no clue what to say to that.” She was floored by his comment. It had come completely out of the blue. There had been no indication that moving in together was even on the radar.

Rafael sighed. He should have kept his mouth shut. It had been an extremely long, tiring day, on top of an exhousting couple of weeks. Nothing good could come from trying to have this conversation now, but he couldn’t stop the petulant reply that left his lips. “I think that says enough on its own.”

“Rafa, I…” Dropping the pillow to the bed, she sat down, perched on the edge and sucked in a breath. “Where is this coming from?”

“Aren’t you tired, Liv? Tired of running around trying to grab a couple of minutes together wherever we can? I just think it would be more convenient if we lived together.”

“More convenient?” Olivia felt her own hackles rising at his words and couldn’t help her sarcastic retort. “Because that’s a romantic way to be asked. I’m sorry our current arrangement is so inconvenient for you.”

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “That’s not what I meant. I-” His phone vibrating in his hand, cutting off his explanation. He glanced down and sighed. “Damn… my Uber is downstairs.”

“Right. Okay. Well, I’ll see you in a few days.” She stood and turned away from him, unfolding the bedsheet.

“Liv, I…”

She didn’t look at him, choosing instead to carry on making the bed. “You’d better say goodbye to Mia. She’s down the hall with Noah.”

Rafael walked down the hallway to Noah’s room and, faking a happy demeanour, bid goodbye to the him and Mia, promising to call when he got to D.C. and to bring them both a gift if he saw something he thought they’d like.

On returning to the living room, he found the sofa bed made and Olivia in the kitchen, preparing dinner for her and the children.

“Liv…”

She shook her head, steadfastly facing the wall. “Don’t. Not when you’re about to leave.”

He nodded, despite the fact she couldn’t see him. “I love you.”

Olivia heard him open the front door and realised she couldn’t leave things as they were. She turned her head and offered him a tight smile. “I know.”


	22. Chapter 22

Sleep did not come easily for Olivia; she tossed and turned for most of the night, replaying the conversation with Rafael and wondering how things went so wrong. He’d texted upon his arrival in Washington and Olivia had sent a perfunctory reply, but there had been no further communication. She’d considered calling him when she couldn’t sleep – it’s what she would have done had he been at home – but she decided against it. Her head wasn’t in the right place and she wouldn’t be able to speak to him without bringing up their argument, and over the phone was not the place for that conversation. Instead, she just lay there in the dark, evaluating their relationship.

Come morning, Olivia did not feel rested at all, she would have gladly laid in bed for the entire day, but she had not one, but two children to get to school. She dropped Mia off first as her day started earlier and the apartment wasn’t on the route for her school bus before dropping Noah off just in time for his day to start. Lucy had offered to pick Mia up, but the teenager hadn’t been too keen on the idea, save anyone see her being collected by a nanny. So they’d compromised – she would meet Lucy would meet at a halfway point, where the school bus stopped, before continuing to collect Noah.

Unfortunately for her squad, her lack of sleep meant she was grumpier and more on edge than usual, and no amount of coffee seemed to help. She snapped at Carisi when he mentioned Rafael’s conference speech, suggesting they have a viewing party to watch the live stream and celebrate, and she almost lost it with a suspect when he’d refused to give them an alibi. She slammed her fists on the table as she stood, getting right up in the guy’s face. When she grabbed his hair, Fin intervened entering the interview room and pulling her away, and she stormed out. After sharing a quick look with Fin, who nodded, Amanda followed Olivia out. She found her boss in the cribs, sat on one of the beds, resting her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.

She approached the older woman cautiously. “Liv, you okay?”

“I’m fine, Rollins. You should get back to the interview.”

Amanda raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, because you always snap at Carisi and go off on suspects.” She put a hand on Olivia’s shoulder. “Whatever it is, Liv, you can tell me.”

Olivia sighed. None of her colleagues knew about her relationship with Rafael, but who else could she speak to? Her mother was long dead, she had no sisters or aunts, not even a best friend. Well, she did have a best friend, but she couldn’t talk to him about this as he was the cause of her distress. The irony was not lost on her. Amanda might have been a colleague, a subordinate but over the past few years, they had begun to form a growing friendship. Being single mothers, in a male-dominated workplace; they were allies, they had each other’s backs. She’d confided in her about the child abuse allegations and the whole Sheila Porter fiasco. Why shouldn’t she talk to her about this? She and Rafael would have to disclose eventually.

“Rafael and I had words before he left.”

“About the Reyes’ case?” Amanda asked. It wasn’t unusual for the two of them to be at odds over a case; usually, Olivia wanted the DA’s office to move on a suspect, either with a warrant or indictment, but Barba refused, citing the need for more evidence.

“No. It was… personal.”

“Oh.” She sat down next to Olivia, sensing the conversation was about to take a serious turn.

Olivia exhaled. “Yeah. We’re... we’ve been together for almost five months now, since just after his cousin’s death.”

Amanda hadn’t known they were in a relationship, but she wasn’t particularly surprised. There had always been something between the two of them; it was only a matter of time.

“So you argued and now he’s gone off to Washington?”

Olivia nodded. It was just typical that they’d have their first real fight less than an hour before he had to be at the airport to board a plane to take him over 200 miles away. Their timing was impeccable! “He dropped Mia off – I offered her a place to stay while he was away at the conference – and he made some comment about how things would be more convenient if we just moved in together.”

“Those were his exact words?” Amanda shook her head in disbelief; men could be so clueless. “No wonder you had a row.”

“I told him I didn’t know what to say and he took that as an indication that I didn’t want to. Things went downhill from there and then he had to leave.”

“And do you? Want to live with him, I mean?”

That was the million-dollar question. “I don’t know. This was the first time he’s mentioned it. It’s never, ever come up before and he just threw the idea out there so casually…” she trailed off. “I mean, he has a point, it _would_ be easier if we lived together,” Olivia admitted. “We’d see more of each other, it would help with juggling work, and the kids would have two parents – but that’s not a reason to jump into it.”

“Not if it’s the only reason, no.” Amanda paused, giving Olivia a moment. “Look, I can’t comment on the status of your relationship – I didn’t even know it existed until five minutes ago, but I can’t say I’m surprised. You and Barba… it was inevitable. It’s clear the man loves you. What I wouldn’t give to have somebody who looked at me like he looks at you.”

If Olivia had been less involved in her own relationship troubles, it may have occurred to her to point out to Amanda that Carisi often looked at her that way.

“And as you once told me you didn’t date lawyers,” continued Amanda, “I have to assume that you feel the same about him.”

“I do.” She’d never felt about anyone the way she felt about Rafael. Being with him felt natural, as natural as breathing. There was no need to pretend, to conceal any part of herself from him. It had never been like that, not with Ed or Brian, not even with Eliot.

“He made an idiotic remark, clearly without thinking, but,” she shrugged, “maybe it’s something to think about, to talk about… properly… when he gets back.”

There was nothing else for Amanda to say, so she stood and made to leave but Olivia’s voice stopped her. “Amanda?”

She turned to find Olivia looking at her. She knew what the older woman wanted to say before she even opened her mouth. “Don’t worry, Liv. I won’t say a word.”   

* * *

That night, Olivia and Mia curled up on the couch to watch Rafael’s speech. It was live streaming on the conference website and Mia had worked some technological magic to connect Olivia’s laptop to the television, so they could watch on the big screen. On hearing that Rafael was going to be ‘on the TV’, Noah had requested to stay up and watch, but Olivia had said no. It was too late for him to stay up on a school night, and the subject matter really wasn’t appropriate. Rafael would be given a DVD of the event so, if there was a part of his speech that was appropriate, probably his introduction and opening remarks, Noah could maybe watch that. She was only letting Mia watch because Rafael had given his permission before he left. He reasoned that she was aware of the kind of work they did and, given that he wasn’t planning on being too graphic with his descriptions, he was sure it would be fine.

After his introduction and opening remarks, Rafael began laying out the details of the Optimum Air case. How Tara Sidnana had been raped by her co-pilot, Logan Carter and how the culture of sexism and misogyny had allowed it to happen.

_“Women are told constantly that they’re not really worth anything. Day after day, they can sense it. I mean, men don't really say it to their faces, but women know. They can tell, because the guy in the next office? He's making twice what they make, and he does half the work. They’re overlooked for promotions – they go to men with less experience, or their boss’ golfing buddy. Year after year it happens. Women try to complain to anyone who will listen. And one of two things will happen. They'll get fired, or they’ll get laughed at. Year after year. Until they start to believe it; they start to believe they’re not really worth anything.”_

Mia was transfixed, and Olivia couldn’t blame her. The first time she had seen Rafael in a court room, she had been much the same. He had a strong, charismatic presence that was almost impossible to ignore.

_“These may sound like rationalisations to you, ladies and gentlemen,”_ continued Rafael, _“but to me, to New York’s Special Victim’s Unit, to the women of companies like Optimum Air, it's the sound of a woman's dignity circling the bowl. And the hand that's flushing the toilet belongs not just to the men who committed these offenses, but to everyone who knew and let them happen. Can you be demeaned by a culture? Yes. Can it humiliate you? Definitely. Can it actually rape you? Sadly, the answer is yes.”_

_“The law states that if you take another person's property, you are committing a crime. I assert that companies with cultures like that of Optimum Air take the dignity, the self-worth, the self-esteem of these women. And if you don't think that's property, just ask her.”_ He pointed at a random woman in the audience. “ _Or her.”_ He pointed at another. “ _Or her.”_ And another. “ _And after you’ve done that, you tell me that they’re not guilty of grand larceny.”_

The room erupted in rapturous applause, and Mia joined in from her place on her couch. “Wow,” she breathed. Having never seen Rafael in court, she was awe-struck by both his words and the way he held court with all the attendees. “He’s amazing.”

Olivia smiled as the screen faded to black. “Yeah, he is.”

Mia tilted her head. “So, have you two made up then?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” she replied, trying to evade the question.

“Oh, come on Liv. You were in a right mood after he left. You might be able to fool Noah, but not me; I’m not stupid. You had a row, right?”

“Mia…” She shook her head and stood, taking their glasses to the kitchen. She couldn’t talk to her about this.

“Was it his fault?” Mia called after her. “Cos, I mean, I know he can be an ass sometimes, but he’s our ass.” Olivia was about to reprimand Mia for her language, when the girls next words stopped her dead. “Please don’t leave him.”

Olivia’s turned to Mia, who had followed her into the kitchen. She was surprised to see tears in the teenager’s eyes. “Wha-?”

“He’s happy with you, Liv. You make him _so_ happy.” She sniffed. “And I know it’s none of my business, not really, but please…” Her tears came faster now, and Olivia stepped towards her, gathering her in her arms, the end of her sentence muffled by the embrace.

They stood in the kitchen for several minutes, Olivia comforting Mia as she cried into her shoulder, repeating her plea for her not to leave Rafa. When the girl’s sobs finally subsided, Olivia led them back to the couch and sat down beside Mia, taking her hand.

“Okay, yes, Rafa and I had a small argument – no I won’t tell you what it was about,” she added before the girl could open her mouth to ask. “You don’t need to know that. What you do need to know though, is that couples disagree, they argue. It doesn’t mean they don’t still love each other or want to be together.”

“So, you’re not going to leave him?” Mia asked, dropping her head to Olivia’s shoulder.

Shaking her head, the older woman wrapped an arm around the teenager and rubbed the top of her arm soothingly. “No, I’m not. Rafa will come home and we’ll talk it out like adults and everything will be fine.”

As Olivia sat there later, Mia dozing on her shoulder, she thought about the conversation to come. Rafael had opened the door, and now all she had to decide was whether to close it or take a leap of faith and step through.


	23. Chapter 23

It was a few weeks since their argument, and the issue of combining their homes had not come up again. The argument had not gone completely unmentioned though. On his return from D.C., when Rafael had come to collect Mia, he had appeared at Olivia’s door with a bouquet of flowers and an apology. Olivia had accepted his contrition and offered an apology of her own. They were both in the wrong – they were both equally as stubborn and had allowed that stubbornness to rule their emotions.

There was an unspoken agreement that they needed to talk, but despite their best intentions it wasn’t easy to find time to begin the conversation that they needed to have. Now that both Noah and Mia were back at school, the adults were not only juggling work, but the getting the kids to and from extracurricular activities too. Noah was playing softball and Mia was on the swim team. Olivia and Rafael were still trying to grab moments together and neither wanted to start a conversation when there may not be time to bring it to a satisfactory conclusion.

One night in the middle of September, Rafael opened his eyes, sensing a presence in his bedroom. He found Mia stood by his bed. He looked at the clock, 3.07am.

“ _Sirena_ , what’s the matter?” he asked, sitting up and running a hand over his face.

She didn’t say anything but was tearful, and as Rafael took in her ashen expression, he wondered if she’d had a nightmare. They’d decreased in number as the months since the car accident, but occasionally one would break into her sleep. Mia gripped his hand and dragged him out of bed and down the hall. He blearily followed her back to her room, finding a dark, red stain in the middle of her bedsheet and Mia a crumbling mess of insecurity.

It took his sleep-addled brain a few moments to connect the dots but when he did, he tried to think of what he could say to make the situation less embarrassing for both of them. This was one thing about taking in a teenage girl he had not considered. He perched on the edge of her bed and pulled Mia into a hug, at a loss for what else to do.

“I want Mom,” Mia sniffled into his shoulder.

“I know.” It was only natural that she would, and Rafael wished more than anything that he could give her what she wanted. “But I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. Do you… do you understand what’s happening? You’ve talked about this in health class, right?”

Mia screwed her eyes closed and shook her head. “I can’t… I can’t talk to you about this Raf! Can you call Liv?” she asked. “Please!” If this had happened at a more reasonable time of day then she’d have called her herself without even mentioning it to Rafael, but it was the middle of the night and she felt awkward about calling at this time.

“Okay, I’ll call Liv. Just… don’t cry, _sirena_ , please.”

Rafael rang Olivia, as Mia secreted herself away in the bathroom. His girlfriend’s voice was clouded with sleep when she answered. “It’s almost half three in the morning, Rafa.”

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s Mia.”

Olivia was instantly awake, sitting up in bed, her mind automatically thinking the worst. “What is it? What’s happened?”

“She’s…” He searched for the words feeling somewhat awkward. He knew it was ridiculous; he stood in court and described the details of the most heinous and horrific sexual acts on a regular basis but couldn’t utter these few words. He took a deep breath. “She got her first period. She won’t talk to me, Liv, she insisted that I call you. Can you come over?”

“Give me half an hour,” Olivia replied, without hesitation.

Rafael stripped Mia’s bed, throwing the soiled sheets in the wash and replacing them with fresh ones, whilst he waited for Olivia. She arrived at his door about twenty-five minutes after they’d hung up, balancing a sleeping Noah on her hip.

“Thanks for coming,” he said, his voice flat. He felt like a failure; not knowing how to comfort Mia. He took Noah from her arms, careful not to jostle the sleeping child. “I’ll put him down in my bed. Mia’s in the bathroom.” He gestured needlessly down the hall; Olivia had visited enough to know where his bathroom was.

She regarded Rafael carefully for a moment. He looked lost, so she reached out to squeeze his arm. “She’ll be okay, Rafa,” Olivia assured. “She’s probably just embarrassed. No teenage girl likes talking about her periods with their father.”

He nodded and carried Noah to his bedroom as Olivia headed for the bathroom. She knocked gently on the door. “Mia, it’s Olivia. Can I come in?”

Olivia heard the click of the lock and the door opened a crack. Mia’s tear-stained face peered around the door, and she glanced nervously up and down the hallway.

“It’s okay. Rafa’s putting Noah down in his room.”

The door opened wider and Mia stepped back to allow Olivia to enter, before perching on the edge of the bath.

“Are you okay?”

Mia sniffed. “I… I just want my Mom.”

Olivia sat next to Mia and wrapped an arm around her. The teenager leaned into her and rested her head on her shoulder. “I know.” She rubbed Mia’s arm for a bit until she calmed and then shifted to look at her. “Okay, first things first, how much do you know about the changes your body is going through?”

“My mom talked to me about it a little and we’ve had classes at school, so I understand the biology of it and everything.”

Olivia nodded. “Okay, that’s good.”

“I just…” she trailed off, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

“Just what, sweetie?”

“I just didn’t realise there would be so much blood,” Mia mumbled.

“It does seem like a lot, doesn’t it?” agreed Olivia. “But it’s actually only about two or three tablespoons.” She reached behind and turned on the faucets to fill the tub. “Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to have a bath and get yourself cleaned up, while I nip to the drugstore to get you some sanitary pads.” She would have stopped at the store on her way over, but she didn’t want to wake Noah and she couldn’t leave him unattended in the car. “Did they talk about pads in health class?”

“Yeah. Tampons too.”

“Well, they are an option but for now, I would recommend sticking with pads, until you’ve had time to think about it and make an informed decision.”

Mia nodded, standing and adding some bubble bath to the running water. Olivia stood too and moved towards the door.

“I won’t be long,” she said. “While you’re in the bath, you might want to think if you’ve got any questions about periods. You can ask me anything you want, okay?” She reached for the door handle but turned back as Mia spoke once more.

“My tummy hurts. Is that… normal?”

Olivia nodded. “Yeah, they’re called menstrual cramps. You probably won’t get them all the time; just for one or two days.” At the worried look on Mia’s face, Olivia continued, “The bath will help. And I’ll get Rafa to bring you some Tylenol.”

The young girl groaned. “I really don’t want to talk to him about this.”

“I understand that, Mia. I know you feel embarrassed but there’s no need to be. What’s happening to you is normal and Rafa understands that. He’s worried about you; he needs to know you’re okay.”

Mia nodded reluctantly. “He can leave it outside the door,” she agreed. Maybe she’d find it easier to speak to him with a door between them.

“I’ll let him know.”

Olivia slipped out of the bathroom to find Rafa sat on the floor in the hallway outside. She offered him her hand and pulled him up, leading him back to the living room.

“Is she okay?”

“She will be,” Olivia assured. “She’s in the bath at the moment. I’m going to run to the drugstore to get her some sanitary supplies.”

“Maybe you should stay here with her,” Rafael suggested, not sure that Mia would be comfortable being left alone with him. “I can go to the store.”

Olivia raised an eyebrow. “And you’d know what to buy, would you?”

“Well, no. But I’m sure the clerk would be able to assist me.”

“I won’t be gone that long, Rafa,” Olivia promised. “And Mia will probably stay in the bathroom anyway. You’ll be fine.”

She pecked a kiss to his cheek before grabbing her purse from where she’d dropped it by the door when she arrived. She opened the door, before turning back, remembering what she’d said to Mia. “Oh, she’s having cramps, have you got some Tylenol?”

Rafael nodded. “Is there anything else I should do?”

“If you’ve got a hot water bottle, you could fill it and pop it in her bed. It can help. But don’t push her to talk. She’ll come to you when she’s ready.”

Rafael dropped his head onto the back of the sofa and sighed, a single thought resounding in his head. Thank God for Olivia.


	24. Chapter 24

Rafael poured a large glass of water for Mia and retrieved the bottle of Tylenol from the cupboard. He shook out two of the capsules and put them on a small saucer along with a bar of her favourite chocolate. He vaguely remembered reading somewhere that women craved sugary foods when having their period. So, despite it being the middle of the night, he would allow her the treat.

Cautiously he approached the bathroom door and, balancing the saucer on top of the glass, he knocked lightly on the door. “Mia?”

Mia lay her head back on the ledge of the bath and closed her eyes, willing Rafael to just leave the pain killers and go. She was mortified that she’d had to tell him. That hadn’t been in her plan at all. Her plan had been to speak to the school nurse or Olivia when she got her first period. She would even have spoken to Lucia if her other two options were unavailable. Anyone except Rafael (or any man). But then, she hadn’t planned on it happening in the middle of the night. That was a detail they hadn’t gone into in health class.

But when she’d woken up and seen just how much blood there was on her bedding, she’d been frightened. Instinct had taken her to Rafael’s bedroom but when it came to actually discussing it with him she had clammed up. She still wasn’t sure that she could speak to him. It’s not like he’d understand what she was going through. Not like another female would. But Olivia had assured her that it would be okay and implied that he was worrying about her, which she didn’t want him to do. And they couldn’t live the rest of their lives in silence.

“Mia?” he called again, and she heard the concern in his voice.

“I’m okay,” she replied. “I’m still in the bath.”

“Liv said you were in pain.”

“The hot water is helping.”

“Well, I’ve got you some tablets. I’ll leave them by the door, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” She took a breath. “Thanks, Rafa.”

She listened as he walked down the hallway and when she was sure he was gone, she hopped out of the bath. Wrapping herself in a towel she opened the bathroom door to retrieve the medication. She smiled when she saw the bar of chocolate lying next to the pain killers. Maybe Rafael understood more than she gave him credit for.

* * *

Olivia returned and showed Mia how to apply the sanitary pads to her underwear before leaving her to dress.

As she reached the bathroom door she turned to the teenager. “Come through to the living room when you’re done please.”

“No, Liv. Please!” Mia protested. The last thing she wanted to do was have to face Rafael.

“You’ll have to talk to him eventually,” Olivia reminded her. “Unless you plan on living the rest of your life in silence. So, you may as well get it over with now. Besides, the early morning hour will give you the perfect excuse to escape quickly – you’ll need to get back to bed.”

Mia nodded, albeit reluctantly. “Okay.”

“Thank you,” Olivia said, exiting the bathroom and heading back to the living room, joining Rafael on the couch.

“She okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” replied Olivia, stifling a yawn, curling up against him and leaning her head on his shoulder. “She’s just getting dressed. I asked her to come out before she goes to bed.”

“You think she will?” Rafael was sceptical.

Olivia shrugged. “She said she would.”

Rafael wasn’t sure if he wanted her too or not. He wanted to see her, check she was okay but he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry for calling you,” he said. “Dragging you and Noah across town in the middle of the night.”

Olivia shook her head. “It’s not a problem, really. Noah barely stirred.” She lifted her head and looked at his profile. “But, maybe we should-”

The sound of Mia’s slipper clad feet on the wooden floor quietened Liv. She stood where the hallway gave way to the open-plan living area, shuffling from foot to foot. “Hey,” she said, nervously.

Rafael was on his feet instantly, but he didn’t approach her, wanting to give her some space. “Hey. You okay?”

“Tired.” She bit her lip. “And a little bit embarrassed.”

Rafael opened his arms. “Come here, _sirena_ ,” he said softly. She rushed to him, crashing against his chest and throwing her arms around his neck. After rubbing her back for a few moments, he pushed her back gently, so he could look at her, but she kept her gaze fixed on his t-shirt. Hooking his fingers under her chin, he lifted her face. “There’s no need to be embarrassed,” he assured. “Okay?”

Mia nodded. “Okay.”

“Good.” He kissed her temple. “You should get back to bed. I’m not in court tomorrow so I’ll drive you to school, so you can have a bit of a lie in.”

“Thanks. Night Raf.” She turned to Olivia. “Night Liv. Thanks for… y’know.”

Olivia flashed the girl a tired smile. “You’re welcome. Good night, sweetie.”

The two adults watched as Mia padded down the hallway. On hearing the click of her bedroom door, Olivia stood. “Noah and I should get home.”

He took her hand, shaking his head. “You should stay,” he said, leading her to his room.

“Looks like your bed is taken.” She nodded at Noah, spread out like a starfish in the middle of the bed.

Rafael moved to the bed and lifted Noah gently, scooting him into the side. Olivia smiled as she watched her lover brush the hair from her son’s eyes and place a kiss on his head, shushing him as he stirred. She removed her shoes and climbed into the bed, Rafael slipping in behind.

They lay there, on their backs, for a couple of minutes enjoying the relaxing silence, before Rafael remembered their shortened conversation in the living room. “What were you going to say?” he asked.

“Hmm?” she replied, sleepily. She’d just been dozing off when he spoke.

“In the living room, before Mia came out of the bathroom. You said ‘but maybe we should…’ Maybe we should what?”

Olivia lay still for a moment, contemplating. It was the middle of the night, they were both tired so the timing wasn’t ideal, but she’d been waiting for an opportunity to have this conversation ever since he came back from D.C. Tonight’s events had only furthered her resolve. She turned to face him. The sun was beginning to rise and the light creeping through the slats in the blind, peppered his face in shadows, but she met his gaze. “Maybe we should revisit your idea about living together.”

“Oh?” A small smirk appeared on his face, and Olivia knew he was thinking about her reaction to his similar suggestion several weeks ago.

“Not just because of convenience – even though it would make things easier – but because I love you Rafa. And Mia. Because I want to the four of us to be a family. If that’s what you want…?”

Her words wiped the smirk of his face, replaced by a beaming smile. His hand slid up her arm to cup her cheek. “Olivia, I love you. And I love Noah. There is nothing I want more than the four of us to live together.” The smirk reappeared. “If I recall correctly, I was the one who suggested it in the first place.”

“Yeah, in a fit of frustration.” She placed a hand on her heart. “So romantic.”

“Oh, and in bed after dealing with the beginning of our teenager’s journey into womanhood is better, is it?”

His tone was light, and his comment earned him a playful slap on the chest. Stretching one arm across the pillows, Rafael grabbed the hand that had connected with his torso, pulling her close. Olivia came willingly and, as his arms went around her, settled into his embrace.

“ _Our_ teenager?” She repeated his words, allowing a small smile to creep onto her lips.

“Yeah. That okay?”

Olivia nodded. “More than okay.” She snuggled closer. “We need to sleep now though, _our_ five-year-old will be awake in a couple of hours.”


	25. Chapter 25

The warm summer gave way to a mild but rainy Fall and by the time November dawned, cold and grey, they were no closer to finding a house they both agreed on. They were either too big or too small. The yards were tiny or would require too much maintenance. Or they were too far from either of their offices or the kids’ schools.

They’d just been to another unsuccessful viewing and had called in at Starbucks on their way home. It was a win for everybody. Rafael got coffee, Olivia got to be off her feet – she’d picked the wrong shoes for their morning task – Mia was meeting her lab partner to go and work on a project and Noah liked the caramel waffles they sold in little bags on the counter.

Olivia and Noah found a table while Rafael and Mia queued up at the counter. She helped her son off with his coat, and when he’d removed his hat and scarf, she stuffed them in the sleeve, so they wouldn’t get lost. Placing it over the back of his chair, she removed her own winter jacket and sat down. She dug into her handbag for the colouring book and pencils she kept in there to keep Noah occupied and slid them across the table to him.

By the time Rafael and Mia returned to the table – him carrying a tray of drinks, her carrying two plates containing muffins and holding a bag of caramel waffles between her teeth – Noah was halfway through his picture of The Avengers. Rafael set the tray down and took his seat. Once he was settled in his chair, he took the bag from Mia, opened it and passed it to Noah.

“Not too many,” Olivia warned, knowing he found the treats rather moreish as Rafael handed out the drinks.

Mia took a sip of hers and let out a satisfied sigh. “Ah. It’s nearly Christmas.”

“What makes you say that?” Olivia asked, handing Noah a napkin to tuck into the neck of his t-shirt, save it get covered in hot chocolate. She didn’t want to think about how close Christmas actually was. When she and Rafael had decided to move in together, she’d hoped they’d be in the new house and settled in time for the holidays. But it was looking, less and less likely now.

“Eggnog latte is back,” Mia said, indicating her venti-sized take-out cup. “This makes me happy.”

“Tell me again about this project,” Rafael asked. “Where are you going this afternoon?”

Mia rolled her eyes, reaching into the open bag of mini waffles. She’d already told him this twice at least.

“Hey!” protested Noah, pulling the bag away from her.

Olivia gave him a pointed look. “Noah, I’m sure there’s enough there to let Mia have one.”

Reluctantly, he pushed the caramel waffles back towards the girl who was practically his sister.

“It’s a science project,” Mia said, taking one of the waffles. She began separating the two sides, picking at it with her nails. “We’ve got to do a presentation on the origin of the universe so we’re going to Planetarium. They have a Big Bang show.”     

“Have you got tickets?” Rafael asked her. “The lines can be really long.”

Olivia patted his hand where it lay on the table. “I booked them online for her last week. It’s all sorted.” She looked at Mia. “Assuming you remembered them?”

“They’re right here,” she replied, patting the front of her rucksack.

The bell above the door rang and, over Mia’s shoulder, Rafael saw a teenage boy enter and look around the coffee shop, expectantly.

A feeling of unease came over him. Mia had not been very forthcoming with information about her new study buddy. “ _Sirena_ … is your new lab partner a boy?”

Mia sighed as she glanced around to see her friend had arrived. “Yes,” she admitted. She was hoping Rafael and Olivia would have already left with Noah before he arrived. “Okay, don't say anything stupid. Actually, you know what? Just don't say anything at all. And _don’t_ call me _sirena_ ,” she hissed.

The boy noticed them at their table and waved, before walking over to join them. “Hey, Mia.”

“Hey.” She began the introductions. “Liam, this is my guardian, Rafael. Rafa, this is Liam. And this is Olivia and Noah.”

“Hi. It’s nice to meet you.” He held out a hand. “Mia tells me you’re a lawyer?”

Mia cursed inwardly. So much for Rafael not saying anything!

Rafael took the boys hand and shook it. “I’m an Assistant District Attorney for the borough of Manhattan. And Olivia is a lieutenant in NYPD. She’s the commanding officer of Manhattan SVU.”

Olivia shook her head at Rafael trying to intimidate the boy, who was clearly not fazed by her job. Instead, he nodded approvingly. “A woman in charge? Right on!”

Olivia smiled. Rafael just looked baffled at the comment. Mia decided to end the meeting before it got any more awkward. “You ready, Liam?”

“Yeah, sure. The sooner we get started the sooner we can relax, right?”

Mia gathered her bag and jacket, picked up her latte and headed for the door, Liam following dutifully behind.

“Home in time for dinner please,” Rafael called after her. It was a family dinner - they were hosting his mother and Mickey, at Lucia’s request. Family dinners tended to be at his place now; his dining table was big enough to accommodate all six of them and, Mia and Noah could go off and do their own thing when they were bored of the adults’ company.

“Yeah sure,” she called back, before exiting the shop.

“‘A woman in charge’?” Rafael screwed up his face. “Isn't he a little slick for a thirteen-year-old?

“I think he's cute,” Olivia commented, waving to the two teenagers as they walked past the window. Rafael raised an eyebrow. “If I was thirteen,” she clarified.

“You ever been to the Planetarium?” Rafael asked her.

She shook her head, placing her cup back on the table. “No. The darkness never appealed to me as a kid.” She shrugged. “And with my current schedule, I think I’d fall asleep.”

“Yeah, it would be too relaxing, lying there in the d-” He stopped mid-flow, eyes wide.

“What? What is it?” Olivia asked, an expression of concern creeping onto her face.

“Mia… and Liam. They’ll be in the dark… alone.”

“Rafa!” she protested, rolling her eyes. “They’re thirteen. I’m sure _that’s_ not even entered her head.”

“Not hers, no. His…” He shook his head. “Believe it or not, I was once a thirteen-year-old boy, Liv. I know how they think.”

She smirked. “Just because you were…” she glanced at Noah, lowering her voice, “a sex-obsessed teenager, doesn’t mean Liam is.”

“Trust me Liv. I know this.” He looked at his watch. “Hmm, we’ve got a few hours before dinner. We could fit in a trip to the Planetarium. I’m sure Noah would like that,” he turned to the boy, “wouldn’t you? See the planets and the moon?”

Noah opened to his mouth to say yes but didn’t get the chance.

Olivia smacked Rafael’s arm lightly. “You will do no such thing! You are not using Noah as an excuse to spy on Mia.”

“But-”

“No.”

Noah and Rafael winced. They both recognised that tone. It was one that brokered no argument.

“Maybe we could go see the planets another day, Uncle Rafa,” the little boy said.

“That sounds like a great idea, Noah,” Olivia agreed. “Besides, we’ve got more some more houses to look at.”

Noah groaned. “Not more houses!” When his mom and Uncle Rafa had told him they were going to get a new house so the four of them could live together he was excited, but now he wished they’d just hurry up and choose one. He didn’t understand what the problem was, all the ones they’d looked at seemed fine to him.

Rafael chuckled at the expression on Noah’s face. He was starting to feel a similar way about house hunting. “Don’t worry _mijo_ , these ones are all online, so we can look from home.”

Noah pumped his fist. “Yeeessss!”

* * *

“You do realise the chances of us finding anything and getting moved in before Christmas are nigh on impossible,” Rafael stated when they arrived home. They’d taken a quick detour via the park to reward Noah – he’d been dragged around two houses this morning and had behaved quite well, despite the obvious boredom he’d experienced.

“Maybe,” shrugged Olivia, “but we can still look.” She retrieved her laptop from the coffee table and sat down on the sofa, pressing the power button. “I am fed up of splitting my time – and clothes – between two places. I spent almost twenty minutes looking for my blue, satin blouse the other day before realising it was in your laundry basket.”

Rafael sighed. She was right, they couldn’t carry on like this for much longer. Mia had gone to school twice in the last three weeks without her homework because she’d left it at one apartment when they’d been leaving from another. Noah had done the same with his reading book on a couple of occasions too.

“Right, well if we’re really getting into this – again – I need another coffee. You want one?”

“Mmm, yes please.”

“Noah? You want anything.”

“Can I have some juice, please?”

“Sure, mijo.”

Rafael switched on the coffee maker and poured Noah’s apple juice as he waited for it to percolate. Olivia was focused on her computer. Every once in a while, she would wrinkle her nose at something she saw, or open a listing in a separate tab for later review. He carried Noah’s juice over to the coffee table before returning to the kitchen to pour their drinks. He set them on the table and joined Olivia on the sofa. Sitting beside her, he tilted his head, glancing at the choices she was perusing.

“Found anything?” he rumbled against her ear, wrapping his arm around her.

Her lips curved. She lay her head against his shoulder. "I want that one.” She showed him the house, entirely too large, even for four of them.

"Liv." Rafael sighed. "When I suggested we buy a house, there was an implied budget."

"I said I want it," she chuckled. "I didn't say we could have it."

"Hmmm. Let's try again." His free hand swept hers aside on the trackpad and scrolled through the listings.

They probably wouldn’t find something in a single afternoon, but curled together on the sofa, Noah playing at their feet, they looked, they discussed, and they dreamed.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not so much Barson in this one, but I hope you'll like it nonetheless

“So, when do you think we should tell them?” Mickey looked to the woman sat in the passenger seat of his pickup. His fiancée. He smiled at the thought as he looked left and right at the junction. They were on their way to dinner at Rafael’s apartment. A dinner being hosted at their request, to give them the opportunity to share their good news.

“It will have to be soon after we arrive – it’s not like this is going to go unnoticed.”

She held her left hand out in front of her, admiring the large, oval-cut diamond ring Mickey had given her the previous weekend, after a night of dinner and dancing. She hadn’t hesitated when he dropped to one knee by the lake in Central Park. They may only have been together just short of a year, but there was no doubt in her mind that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. The clear stone was markedly different from the dark amethyst of her first engagement ring – the one she’d worn alongside her wedding ring for years after being widowed. Only taking them off when she began to consider dating again. She was grateful Mickey had taken that into consideration – this relationship was the polar opposite of what she’d had with Rafael’s father.  

“No, I suppose not,” he laughed before turning serious again. “How do you think Rafael will take the news?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted, biting her lip. Her son had been reticent in his acceptance of her relationship, a concern left over from memories of the relationship she’d had with his father. “I hope he’ll be happy, but I have no intention of letting him derail our plans.” She reached across and lay her hand over his where it rested on the gearshift between them and smiled. “And if it becomes a problem, we’ll get Olivia on our side. She’ll knock some sense into him.”

Mickey chuckled as he spotted a gap in the traffic and pulled out. He was sure the Lieutenant would intercede on their behalf if necessary, but he hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

* * *

“ _Hola Mami_.” Rafael greeted his mother with a kiss to the cheek. “Mickey.” He shook the older man’s hand with a smile. Relations between the two of them had improved since their first meeting.

“Rafael,” Mickey nodded, as Lucia stepped over the threshold and greeted Noah as he ran toward her.

“Hi Lucia!” He wrapped his arms around her waist, snuggling into the warmth of her woollen coat.

“ _Hola, nieto_ ,” she replied, patting his head with her gloved hand. It wasn’t really necessary for her to wear the gloves – while it was cold out, they had managed to find a parking spot quite near Rafael’s building – but they helped conceal their surprise for a little longer.

Mickey ruffled the boy’s hair as he passed. “Hey, kid.”

“Hiya Mickey.”

The four of them rounded the wall separating the hallway from the living area to see Olivia approaching from the kitchen. “Hi Lucia,” she greeted wiping her hands on a dish towel.

The older woman pulled her into a hug. “ _Hola mija_. Thank you for agreeing to have us over at such short notice.”

Blushing slightly at Lucia’s term of endearment, Olivia waved off her thanks “It’s not a problem,” she said as Lucia unbuttoned her coat. It was a small fib – they could have done without it this weekend, but she’d been unable to refuse when Lucia called her to arrange it.

Lucia looked around. “Where’s Mia?”

“She’s just getting changed,” Rafael said, picking up his glass of wine from the coffee table. “She’s not been home very long.”

“Yeah, she went out with a boy!” Noah added.

Lucia looked to Rafael, surprised that he would willingly let her date so young. “Oh?”

“He’s my lab partner,” Mia’s clarified as she entered the living area and greeted their guests. “We were researching a science project.” She turned to Olivia. “Is dinner ready?”

“Yeah, why don’t you go and sit down.” She gestured to the table.

Neither Mia or Noah needed to be told twice when there was food involved, but Lucia’s voice stopped them in their tracks. “Before we do…” Lucia cleared her throat and pulled off her gloves. “Mickey and I have news.”

Rafael met Olivia’s eyes over the top of his glass and the two of them shared a pointed look, before his mother held out her left hand, proudly showing off the ring that sat on her fourth finger.  

“We’re getting married!”

Mia’s face broke into a smile. “No way!”

Lucia nodded, smiling brightly.

“Congratulations.” Olivia opened her arms and pulled Lucia into another hug as Rafael held out a hand to Mickey.

“Yeah, congratulations.” Their announcement wasn’t completely unexpected for Rafael. When Lucia had cancelled Sunday brunch the previous weekend and then called Olivia on Tuesday and requested – no, insisted – that they host this dinner, he’d wondered why. Especially since it was Thanksgiving the following Thursday. It was Olivia who had jokingly suggested that maybe the two of them were engaged, but the more Rafael thought about it, the more plausible it seemed. Mickey had become a regular fixture at brunch, along with Olivia and Noah, and Rafael knew he was spending more time at Lucia’s house than he was at his own. Marriage certainly seemed like the next organic step in their relationship.

Mickey nodded as he shook the younger man’s hand once more. “Thank you.”

Rafael turned to his mother. _“¿Estás feliz?”_

_“Sí. Muy feliz.”_

He hugged her and placed a kiss on his cheek, as Olivia did the same to Mickey. “ _Felicitaciones, Mami_ ,” he whispered.

Lucia pulled away and looked at her son curiously. “I have to say, I thought you’d be more surprised,” she observed, a slight pout on her face. She had envisaged more gasps and stunned looks, perhaps even an outburst of some kind.

Rafael smirked. “ _Mami_ , when a couple announces they have news it can only be one of two things and, I think – no offence – that you’re a little too old to make me a big brother.”

“Raf!” screeched Mia. “Too much information!”

Lucia pulled a face as Olivia bit back a laugh.

“Besides,” he continued. “You were so insistent on having this dinner, I knew there had to be a reason. It didn’t take a Harvard degree to work this one out.”

“Less of the sass, Rafi,” Lucia warned warmly, waggling her finger.

“Can we eat now? I’m starving!” Mia declared, clutching her stomach dramatically.

“You’re always starving,” Rafael observed. “But yes, we can eat now. Providing no one else has any life-changing news to share?”

* * *

“That’s rather an impressive ring,” Rafael commented to Mickey later, as the two of them cleared away after dinner. Lucia had pulled Olivia and Mia into discussions about possible ideas for the wedding, and the men felt it was best to leave them to it, so had offered to tidy away.

Mickey may not have been to Harvard, but he could still read between the lines. “It’s not put me in the poor house if that’s what you’re concerned about. My business is doing well, and I’ve made some good investments over the years. I can take care of your mother.”

“I wouldn’t let her hear you talk like that. Not if you want this engagement to result in an actual wedding,” Rafael quipped.

“Listen, Rafael I know I should probably have come to you and, I don’t know, asked for your blessing or something but-”

Rafael shook his head. “My mother is her own person. Has been since my father died.”

“Still, I hope we _do_ have your blessing?”

“As long as _Mami_ is happy, so am I.”

“I’d feel better if you actually said it.”

Rafael snorted. “Really?” Mickey nodded. “Okay. You have my blessing to marry my mother.”

Mickey clapped him on the shoulder. “Thanks… son.” Rafael raised a perfectly arched eyebrow, causing Mickey to laugh. “Too much?”

“Just a little.”


	27. Chapter 27

Olivia and Rafael finally found a house in the first week of December, but as predicted by Rafael, they couldn’t arrange everything in time to move in by Christmas. They had started packing up their apartment though, so to ensure Christmas was free of boxes and bubble wrap, Rafael arranged for the four of them to travel up to the mountains and spend the holiday in a log cabin. Noah had protested at first, concerned that Santa wouldn’t know where they were, but after a little reassurance from his mom, he acquiesced and had thoroughly enjoyed the trip. Particularly playing in the snow, building snowmen, making snow angels and the huge snowball fights they had.

Santa did, of course, find them and when Noah and Mia woke on Christmas morning there were two, large piles of presents under the tree. They spent the rest of day playing with their presents before heading out into the snow; building snowmen, making snow angels, and having a massive snowball fight in which Rafael and Noah were victorious. They returned to the city for New Year’s Eve, braving the crowds in Times Square so the children could watch the ball drop.

By the end of January, they were moved into their new place and life was slowly reverting to normal. The majority of boxes were unpacked – they’d sorted the kids’ rooms first – and they were finding their way as a family of four.

With the decision to move in together, came conversations about responsibility in regard to Mia and Noah. Olivia listed Rafael as an emergency contact at Noah’s school and he reciprocated, adding her to Mia’s list. Lucia went on both too. They vaguely discussed meeting with Trevor Langan to discuss the situation and options from a legal perspective, but scheduling had proved difficult, so it was put on the backburner.

A couple of weeks after their move, Olivia was leaving a meeting with Chief Dodds when her phone rang. She rummaged around her large shoulder bag, cursing as she searched for the device that was currently blasting John Mayer’s _Something Like Olivia_ through the halls of 1PP. Mia had a penchant for changing hers and Rafael’s ringtones without telling them, often catching them off guard.

She finally located her phone as she arrived at the elevators. “Hello.”

“Hello, this is P.S. 279 Captain Manuel Rivera School. Is this Olivia Benson?”

On hearing the name of Mia’s school, Olivia’s brow furrowed. “It is. Is everything alright?”

“I’m afraid there has been an incident,” said the voice gravely, “and we need you to come and collect Mia.”

“What kind of incident?”

“I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to say over the phone.”

“Can I ask why you’re contacting me, instead of her guardian, Rafael Barba?”

“Mia asked us to,” came the curt reply. “Can I tell Principal Dalton that you’re on your way?”

Olivia mentally ran through her schedule and was relieved when she realised there was nothing pressing. “Erm, yes, yes. Of course. I’ll be there in…” she looked at her watch… “about half an hour.”

Upon hanging up, Olivia quickly called Fin to cover for her. She decided to forgo calling Rafael for now, preparing to wait until she had more information. Especially given the likelihood he would still be in court and she wouldn’t be able to reach him anyway.

* * *

Olivia arrived at the school in twenty-five minutes – she’d resisted the temptation to use the siren. She walked up to the reception desk and introduced herself to the receptionist, explaining that she had been called to come and collect Mia.

“Ah yes,” replied the receptionist. Olivia recognised her voice as the person who had called her. “If you’ll just wait here for one moment, I’ll let the principal know you’re here.”

Several minutes later, the double doors that connected the lobby to the main corridor opened and out stepped an older woman wearing a beige business suit, hair pulled back into a tight bun.

“Miss Benson?” she asked, holding out a hand. Olivia nodded and shook it. “I’m Ms Dalton, the school principal. Mia is in the nurse’s office,” she informed Olivia. “If you’d like to come this way.”

“The nurse's office?” Olivia asked as she followed the school principal down the hall. Nobody had mentioned anything about that when they’d called. “Is she okay?”

“Last I heard, the nurse was checking her over.” The principal paused outside a red door with a frosted glass panel. With a swift knock on the door, the principal opened it and entered, Olivia right behind her.

Olivia gasped as she took in the sight of the teenager sat on the gurney. “Mia!” Her lip was split, and as she lowered the ice-pack from over her right eye, Olivia saw there was a large bruise forming around it. Olivia was sure she could see scratches on her arms too.

Mia’s bottom lip began to wobble. “Liv. I…” and she promptly burst into tears.

Olivia crossed the small office in three strides and perched on the side of the bed. She gathered Mia in her arms and the teenager returned the hug tightly. They sat for a few minutes, Olivia rubbing soothing circles on Mia’s back, not caring about the dampness that was seeping through her blouse from the ice-pack Mia still held in her hand.

When Mia calmed down enough to speak, Olivia pulled back and looked between her and the principal. “What happened?”

Mia began to speak, but Ms Dalton cut her off. “Mia started a fight with another student.”

Olivia frowned. While she could be tremendously sassy at times – something she’d picked up from Rafael while growing up – she was usually quite mild mannered. Of course, being a teenager, she also had the occasional strop, but they usually just involved a bit of shouting and door-slamming. She’d never exhibited any violent tendencies.

“Mia?” Olivia looked the teenager directly in the eye.

“It’s not how it sounds, Liv. I-”

“If I may,” interrupted the school nurse. “Mia needs to be checked out at the hospital. Her lip may need stitching and I don’t like the look of that bruise; she may have fractured her cheekbone. I’m sure this can be discussed at another time?” She glanced at the principal who nodded.

“Tomorrow morning, 9am. My office?”

Olivia checked the shared calendar that Carmen had set up for her and Rafael when they moved in together. He had a meeting with Rita Calhoun at 9.30, but she was sure it could be rearranged, even if Rita might not be too happy about it. She looked up from her phone and nodded at the principal. “We’ll be there,” she agreed before gathering Mia and her belongings and leading her out to the car.

“Why did you have them call me, instead of Rafa?” Olivia asked Mia as they sat down.

From the passenger seat, Mia shrugged. “I didn’t want him to know. I don’t want him to be disappointed in me.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you but we’re going to have to tell him.”

“Do we have to?”

Olivia nodded, buckling her seatbelt. “Even if I felt comfortable lying to Rafa – which I definitely do not - he’s going to know as soon as he looks at you, sweetie. Make-up might be able to hide a multitude of sins, but not this.”

Mia sighed. “Great. So not only is Raf going to kill me, I’m going to look like Quasimodo too.”

“Maybe not that bad.” Olivia fished her phone out of her purse and held it out. “So, the question now is – are you calling him, or do you want me to?”


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so there's only three more chapters left and I want to get it finished by the end of the year so, I'm going to post the next chapter straight after this one and then the epilogue tomorrow.

In the end, it was Olivia who called Rafael, but, as she’d expected, it went straight to voicemail. She left a message asking him to ring her as soon as he could. Another quick call to Carmen confirmed Olivia’s suspicions that his court session had run over. Knowing how bad Rafael could be about checking his messages, Olivia asked Carmen to get him to call her as soon as he was back at the office an also to rearrange his morning the next day, so he could attend the meeting at the school. Those tasks completed, she drove Mia to the nearest ER.

In the ER, they were seen quite quickly – a young, male resident with jet black hair assessed Mia and decided that her lip didn’t need stitching, but he wanted to x-ray her cheek to rule out any fractures.

After explaining his conclusions, the doctor pressed a clipboard into Olivia’s hands. “So, if you could just sign here,” he pointed to the dotted line with a pen before offering it to her, “to give your consent then we can get your daughter down to radiology.”

“Oh, Mia’s not my daughter. Her guardian and I are… together, but I’m not…”

The doctor’s brow furrowed. “So, you don’t have parental responsibility?”

Olivia shook her head. “Not in the legal sense, no.” In all other ways, she was a parent and as responsible for Mia as Rafael was, but not in the eyes of the law.

“Then I’m afraid we’ll have to wait until her guardian arrives,” the resident explained, taking back the clipboard. “Is he on his way?”

“I’ve left several messages,” Olivia explained, “but I’ve yet to hear back from him.”

“He’s in court,” Mia interjected.

Seeing the alarmed look in the doctor’s eye, Olivia was quick to reassure him. “He’s an Assistant District Attorney,” she explained. “I’ll call him again.”

She excused herself and tried Rafael again, but it still went to voicemail. Olivia cursed inwardly at how irresponsible she and Rafael had been. They should have foreseen something like this, especially after Noah’s visit to the ER over the summer. They shouldn’t have kept postponing their discussions about meeting with Langan because of work. Mia and Noah should have come first.

She typed a quick email to Trevor and hit send - hoping Rafael wouldn’t be put out that she’d done it without consulting him – before returning to Mia.

“Well, it’s a good job I’m not like actually dying,” Mia declared twenty minutes later. As her injuries were minor, she and Olivia had been asked to return to the waiting room while they waited for Rafael, in order to free up space to see and treat other patients. Every time the front doors would slide open, both Olivia’s and Mia’s eyes would dart in that direction, hoping to see Rafael.

“If your injuries were life-threatening then they wouldn’t wait for consent, they’d just treat you,” Olivia assured. Just as they had after the accident.

“Well that’s just stupid,” huffed Mia. “I don’t get it. We live in the same house and you’re sleeping with my guardian. I think it’s safe to say you can consent for me.”

“Unfortunately, the law doesn’t work that way. And I’d rather you didn’t describe my relationship with Rafa in those terms. We are not just…” she looked around and lowered her voice, “sleeping together, and you know that.”

Mia had the decency to look ashamed. “I do. Sorry. It hurts, and I want to go home already. I hate hospitals. They just remind me of…” she shook her head. “Never mind.”

“They remind you of the accident?” Olivia surmised.

Mia nodded. “Well, of everything that happened afterwards anyway. The accident itself is still a blank. Sarah says that’s because my brain was too busy focussing on what it needed to do to survive, to make and store memories of it.”

Sarah was the teenager’s grief counsellor, whom they’d hired to help her process the loss of her mother. Dr Lindstrom had recommended it when Olivia had mentioned Mia during one of her own sessions. It had taken a little coaxing to get Mia to agree but once she had begun attending the sessions, she said she found it helpful. She didn’t talk much about their sessions and was often tired and emotional when she came home – something Olivia understood from being in therapy – but she had individual meetings with Sarah to talk through things as well as small group sessions, which included things like art and music therapy. She’d attended weekly at first, but now she was down to monthly, with the option to call and book extra if she thought she needed it.

It wasn’t lost on either of the adults that some additional sessions may be required soon, as the anniversary of the accident and her mother’s death approached. It was likely to be hard on her, just as all the ‘firsts’ were. She’d struggled with celebrating the first Thanksgiving and Christmas without her mother, but Noah’s innocence and wonder provided a blessed distraction over the holiday period. But soon it would be her birthday, then the anniversary, then Lucia’s wedding – Mia’s first time as a bridesmaid. These firsts would haunt her for the rest of her life. Milestones at which her mother should have been present but wouldn’t be tinged with sadness. No matter how loved she felt or how much she belonged to her new family, there would always be something – someone – missing.

The next time the automatic doors slid open, Olivia and Mia looked up to see Rafael rushing through them. He scanned the busy waiting area – a worried, almost frantic, look on his face – so Olivia stood up and waved a hand.

“Rafa!”

His shoulders sagged in relief when he saw her, and he hurried over. He hadn’t switched his phone on after court, not wanting the distraction. He wanted to get back to the office as quickly as possible, so he could get home. When Carmen told him Olivia had been trying to get hold of him – that she was at the hospital with Mia – his stomach had dropped. He’d turned on his heel and headed straight for the hospital, hailing a cab outside Hogan Place. He listened to Olivia’s messages as they drove, he garnered the gist of the story. Mia had been hurt at school, something about her being in a fight. It was nothing too serious, but she needed to be checked over. Then another message informing him that the doctor was refusing to treat her without parental consent, which she couldn’t give.

“I’m sorry. Court ran over. I came as soon as Carmen told me.” As he spoke his eyes raked over Mia, who had turned away, desperately trying to hide her injuries and the shame of how she got them. Rafael reached a hand to her shoulder. “Mia, _sirena_.”

Biting the uninjured side of her lip, she slowly turned to face him. She could barely make eye-contact with him. Here he was, the man who had taken her in when she had no-one and rearranged his life to care for her, and she’d let him down. His eyes widened at her injuries and he sank to his knees in front of her.

“Raf, I…” but she couldn’t continue, tears spilling over.

He shook his head. “It’s alright, _sirena_. We can talk about it later. Right now let’s find your doctor and get you fixed up.”

He helped her up, and Olivia led them back into the ER to find the doctor. It wasn’t alright. It was nowhere near. Internally, Rafael was experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. Concern, anger, disappointment and guilt all raged in his gut as hundreds of questions swirled in his mind. But, his main priority was getting her injuries treated. Once she was home, however, there would definitely be a conversation.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted two chapters today (30th Dec) so, if you haven't read chapter 28 then you should do that before reading this one.

As it turned out, Mia’s cheek was not fractured as the school nurse had suspected, just badly bruised. The doctor cleaned the gash on her lip and prescribed some Tylenol and Motrin for the pain before discharging her. The painkillers she’d been given were quick to take effect and it wasn’t long into their journey home before Mia was dozing in the back seat.

“Did she tell you what happened?” Rafael asked Olivia, glancing over his shoulder to check the subject of their conversation was still asleep.

Olivia glanced at him momentarily, shaking her head. “The principal said she started a fight. Mia said it wasn’t what it sounded like, but she also said she didn’t want you to be disappointed in her. So…” She pressed her lips together and shrugged. “I didn’t get much further than that.”

Rafael sighed. “It’s just so unlike her.” The idea that Mia had instigated a physical confrontation with another student had floored him. She was normally so even-tempered. Even in her worst moods, she had never lashed out. 

“She’s a teenage girl. They’re hormonal, which means they’re unpredictable.”

“I know, but… a fight? Really?”

“I agree with you; it isn’t like her.” Olivia slowed down for a red light. “She’ll have to talk to us when we get home though. The principal wants to see us in the morning to discuss it. She was very insistent I arrange a time before I left with Mia.”

“What time?” Rafael asked

“Nine.”

“I can’t do nine,” he said, turning his head to face her. “I have a meeting with Rita. She wants to cut a deal on the Pearson case.”

The light turned to green and Olivia pulled away. “It’s fine,” she told him, waving her hand dismissively. “I spoke to Carmen; she said she’d push it back an hour.” Rafael groaned, and Olivia bit her lip. “I’m sorry if I overstepped, I just…” 

“No, no… It’s fine. You did the right thing. It’s just that I’m going to owe Carmen big time for this. Rita’s assistant is a pit-bull.”

“A bit like her employer then,” Olivia smirked.

“Which we’d be immensely grateful for was she was still on our side,” Rafael pointed out.

Olivia shrugged. “Maybe,” she said noncommittedly before suddenly remembering her email to Trevor. “Speaking of emails. I sent one to Trevor Langan. I think… I think we need to push ahead with exploring our legal options for Mia and Noah. We were remiss to leave it for so long, I think today has proved that.”

“We couldn’t have foreseen this,” Rafael appeased. He knew Olivia and knew she would be feeling guilty, blaming herself for not having things sorted out.

“But we should have, Rafa,” she hissed, fighting to keep her voice low save she wake Mia. “Especially after Noah’s accident last year. That poor girl had to sit there in the waiting room in pain… all because neither of us could be bothered to rearrange our diaries.”

It wasn’t an accusation. She was as much to blame as him. With their busy schedules, they’d both had problems finding a convenient time to meet with Trevor and neither of them had bent over backwards to rearrange things, never imagining a situation like this.

Rafael reached for Olivia’s hand where it lay on the gear shift lever. He interlaced their fingers and gave a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “I know. But we didn’t know. If someone had told us this was going to happen we’d have both moved hell and high water to get this sorted.”

“We should have done that anyway; the kids have to come first.” When she’d taken on Noah, she’d had a similar conversation with Judge Linden, promising her that her top-priority was Noah's well-being. His health, his happiness. For her, that now applied to Mia too. And she needed Rafael to be on the same page.

“And they will from now on.” He lifted their clasped hands to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “I promise. As soon as Trevor gets back with some appointment times, we’ll pick one and stick to it, even if it means rearranging our schedules and pissing off Dodds and McCoy to be there.”

* * *

“You need to talk to us,” Rafael said sternly.

His patience was wearing thin. They were sat in the living room, where they had been since arriving home twenty minutes ago. Noah was at the park; Olivia had text Lucy when they left the hospital, asking her to make sure the little boy was not present for this conversation. Mia sat in between Rafael and Olivia on the large sofa but hadn’t uttered a word, despite the adults’ questions.

“Mia, honey,” Olivia said, putting a hand on the teenager’s leg where it curled up beside her, “if you don’t tell us what happened we can’t help you.”

“You can’t help anyway,” Mia stated. Her voice was quiet but there was a hint of resignation in her tone. “I started a fight. I will be punished.”

Rafael shook his head. “But it’s just not like you,” he pointed out. “If there were mitigating circumstances, you need to let us know.”

Mia shook her head. “I can’t.” She squeezed her eyes shut to stop her tears.

Olivia watched the teenager with interest. In her years of working in SVU, of dealing with victims Olivia had seen responses like this before and alarm bells began ringing in her head. Mia was scared, but not of Rafael or of punishment. She was afraid of something else. She leaned forward and spoke softly. “Mia, the girl you were fighting with… has she…” Olivia swallowed, taking a moment to compose herself. “Has she been hurting you?”

This time there was no response. No shake of the head, no denial. Nothing. And that spoke volumes to both Olivia and Rafael. Their gazes met over the top of Mia’s head and they shared a look of understanding.

“ _Sirena_?” Rafael placed his hand on Mia’s shoulder, his eyes softening. “Is Liv right? Has someone been hurting you?”

She was still for a moment, looking resolutely at her hands clasped on her lap, before taking a deep, steadying breath. Her answer when it came was just a whisper, but it hit Olivia and Rafael like a lightning bolt. “Yes.”

* * *

“Thank you for coming in, Mr Barba.” Principal Dalton stood from behind her desk and extended her hand as the three of them entered her office.

Rafael took her proffered hand and shook it, before indicating Olivia. “This is my partner, Olivia Benson.”

Principal Dalton shook Olivia’s hand too. “Yes, we met when she collected Mia yesterday afternoon after the… incident.” She waved at the three chairs that had been set out in front of the desk. “Please, have a seat.”

Mia took the middle seat, with Olivia and Rafael flanking her on either side.  The teenager wrung her hands in her lap as she waited for her principal to speak.

“Right, well as I am sure Ms Benson has informed you, Mia was involved in, and I believe instigated, a fight in the hall yesterday lunchtime. A fight that resulted in injuries to both girls involved and damage to several school lockers.”

“Mia is more than happy to pay for any damage,” Rafael explained. “Isn’t that right Mia?”

The teenager nodded, her fingers now playing with the hem of her skirt.

“Thank you for that. There is however a more serious issue. Our school has a zero-tolerance policy on violence and, having spoken to the parents of the other girl involved, they are naturally very concerned and-”

Rafael had heard enough. “Oh, they’re concerned? Are they at all concerned that their daughter has been hounding Mia for months? Sending menacing tests and emails. Spreading rumours. Cornering her in the stairwells and bathrooms. Pushing her. Are they even aware? Are you?”

After admitting that she was being hurt, the floodgates had opened, and Mia had disclosed the extent of the bullying, which it turned out, had been going on for months.

Principal Dalton turned to Mia. “Mia? Is this true?”

The young girl nodded, causing Rafael to raise an eyebrow. “I mean, yes Miss Dalton,” she corrected.

“Why didn’t you tell a teacher or your guidance counsellor?”

“Erica threatened me. She said she could make my life hell and that if I told anyone she’d hurt me even more. I tried to ignore her. I thought I could handle it but then she started threatening my little brother and I lost it. So, I pushed her.”

Rafael and Olivia shared a surprise glance, not because of the threats against Noah – Mia had told them all about those last night – but because this was the first time the teenager had referred to Noah as her ‘brother’.

Professor Dalton sighed. “I will look into your allegations and speak with Erica and other students but without proof-”

“Mia has proof,” Rafael said, lifting his briefcase onto his lap. Lifting the lid, he reached in and handed a stack of papers to the principle. “Screenshots from Mia’s phone showing a pattern of messages from the perpetrator.” He pulled out several more batches of paper. “Screenshots from several social media accounts too.” He dropped one on the desk in front of him. “Facebook.” He tossed another batch onto the pile. “Instagram.” And another. “Twitter.” And finally, “Tumblr.”

After her disclosure, Rafael had demanded the usernames and passwords to all of Mia’s social media accounts as well as the passcode for her phone – needing to see for himself the extent of the bullying. Once she and Noah were both in bed, he and Olivia had spent the rest of the evening downloading, printing and organising all the hurtful, hateful messages that Mia had received. After reading one particularly brutal message, which basically said Mia's mom would be glad to have died to have been rid of her, Olivia had broken down. She was devastated at what Mia had been going through and guilt-ridden that they hadn’t noticed. 

Rafael sat back as the principal took in – rather wide-eyed – the evidence he’d presented to her.  It was time for Olivia to speak.

“Principal Dalton, I don’t know if you are aware, but I am a lieutenant with Manhattan Special Victims Unit and I am trying very hard not to open a harassment investigation here.”

She and Rafael both agreed that, given her age, the chances of Erica being charged with anything were slim to none, but neither was above using their positions to protect Mia.

The principal paled, the last thing she needed was a police investigation into bullying at the school. “I understand completely, Ms,” she shook her head, “I mean, Lieutenant Benson. You have my word that I will be addressing this issue immediately with Erica and her parents.”

“And you’ll let us know the outcome of your investigation?” Rafael said, standing. Olivia joined him and motioned for Mia to get to her feet too.

Principal Dalton nodded. “I will phone you directly, Mr Barba.”

Rafael gave a curt nod. “Good. Once we’re notified of the school’s response and satisfied that Mia is no longer in any danger, she will return to school. Until then, we’ll be keeping her at home.” This was something else they’d decided last night, with Olivia offering to have her at the precinct with her that day. They wouldn’t leave her at home alone, save she find enjoyment in her time off school binge wtaching Netflix or such like. Despite the circumstances that had precipatated the erevious days events, she had still been involved in a violent incident and Olivia and Rafael agreed that that could not go unpunished. As well as giving up her allowance to pay for the damage at school, she was also grounded for a month.

Rafael led Mia out of the principal’s office, Olivia following behind. They were halfway down the corridor when Olivia’s phone beeped. She fished it out of her bag and slid her glasses onto her nose from where they were perched on top of her head. Reading it, she turned to Rafael.

“It’s Langan. He can see us tomorrow at 2.30.”

Rafael quickly checked his calendar and frowned. “I have a meeting with the DA at 3.15.”

Olivia’s brow furrowed as she continued to read. “His next appointment after that isn’t until late next week.”

Rafael thought for a moment. It wasn’t so much the time of the meeting that was the problem as the travel time involved. Langan’s office was across the other side of Manhattan. “See if he can come to us,” Rafael suggested. “My office? That way, I should be clear to meet with McCoy.”

Olivia smiled at the compromise he put forward and began typing a response. Maybe they could find a way to balance work and family after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just the epilogue to go now... it will be up tomorrow.


	30. Epilogue - Twenty Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are. The end of our story. I hope you've enjoyed the journey as much as I have. Thank you to everyone who has read, left kudos and commented on this story. And thank you to the wonderful motherbearof03 for her betaing duties (although, she's not read this chapter - so any mistakes are my own).

“Sorry!” Noah stepped through the sliding glass door and onto the deck, hand-in-hand with his girlfriend. “I know, I know,” he added when Mia glared at him. “I'm sorry, okay? Traffic was bad coming out of the city. I'm sorry.” He bent and kissed his mother's cheek.

Olivia smiled as she rose and wrapped him in a hug. “You're here now. That’s what matters.” She turned to her son’s girlfriend and pulled her into a hug too.

“Oh sure.” Mia rolled her eyes from where she sat next to her husband on the bench, bouncing their son on her lap. “If I had been late, I would never have heard the end of it. There’d probably have been a lecture on time management and consideration of others.”

Rafael looked over at his recently arrived and perpetually late son. “What happened, _mijo_?”

He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. “That woman is going to drive me bat-shit –”

“Noah.” His mother's brows rose, and her voice dipped. “Language.”

Noah looked up at her through his lashes and grinned crookedly. “Do you wanna hear it or not?”

Olivia’s lips pursed. She folded her arms across her chest. “Let's hear it.” There was a sparkle in her eyes.

“Rollins,” he bit out. “I was getting ready to leave, and…”

“Yes?” His mother drew the syllable out, even as her head inclined. The was a warning in her tone.

His eyes narrowed. Noah wasn't so bold as to glare at his mother, but he was tempted to run a hand through his hair. “Sorry, _Lieutenant_ Rollins,” he managed to grit out, at least with enough respect so as not to incur any further wrath from his mother, “called me into her office to go over questions she had about three different cases that are going to trial soon. Honestly, that woman!”

“Hey!” Jesse objected to her boyfriend’s words. “That’s my mom you’re talking about.”

Noah stood, having come directly from work, his suit jacket gone, and tie loosened – he hated them as much as his father. He had his shirt sleeves rolled up, hands tucked into his pockets. Occasionally one of them would appear as he gestured, explaining some point or another.

“Sorry, Jess. She may be your mother, but she’s still my boss, and today she’s been a right royal pain in my ass!”

Mia laughed. Of course, Noah was a cop. She’d seen that one coming before the boy was even seven. He’d grown up with a mother and several honorary aunts and uncles in the profession. She supposed it was only natural that he should follow them. He’d gone to college first, Rafael (and the NYPD) had insisted, but here he was, almost twenty-seven and recently made a detective. That promotion had come with a transfer and no-one in the family was surprised when he took a position in SVU. His mother’s legacy and what had happened to both her and his biological mother spurred him on.

It was why he was always excused when he was late. Olivia understood, as did Rafael to some extent, the ever-changing schedules, the last-minute cancellations, and showing up almost an hour late to family gatherings. It was a life they’d both lived until Olivia retired, Rafael following less than six months later.

They hadn’t moved east until Noah went away to school. When he went off to the University of Delaware to study Criminology, they sold their house. They bought a little cottage, in Connecticut, on the banks of the Mystic River. They left NYC behind, with all its crime and politics, and found a place where they could simply be, just the two of them and, of course, Mia and Noah when they visited.

With Mia based in Boston now, it was a nice, centralised location. They got together as often as they could. Sometimes Noah and Mia would turn up unannounced either together or separately, but other times, it was pre-arranged. Especially for special occasions; birthdays or anniversaries, like the one they were celebrating today: Olivia and Rafael’s twentieth wedding anniversary.

It was a simple affair, a family dinner. Olivia and Rafa hadn’t wanted anything else. Only each other, the kids and their grandson. They both viewed Mia as theirs, even though they’d never officially adopted her. After several conversations with Trevor Langan, and with Mia, Olivia became her guardian as well, jointly with Rafael. Mia hadn’t felt the need to be adopted by them and they respected her decision. Noah, on the other hand, had been very eager for Rafael to become his Dad, so they had papers drawn up. Six months later it was all official and they had a small gathering at the house to celebrate; Lucia and Mickey, the squad, Lucy. Rafael decided it was time to make something else official that day too and had proposed that night after all their guests had left.

The wedding that followed six weeks later was a quiet affair too, in the courtroom where they’d first met. Sonny stood up for Rafael and Amanda for Olivia. With Mia and Jesse as bridesmaids and Noah as ring bearer, it was everything they’d both hoped for.

Given their roles in their wedding, Olivia and Rafael had extended an invitation to Amanda, Sonny and their other two children – Samantha and Dominick Jr – as well, but they’d declined, citing work and school commitments. Secretly Rafael was pleased. He liked the other couple, and their two youngest children – which was a good thing given the fact that Noah had confided he was planning to propose to Jesse at Christmas – but he really didn’t want their intimate celebration to turn into a noisy party.

It was lively enough as it was, Mia and Noah falling easily into familiar banter as they ate dinner, trying to pull their respective partners – Andrew and Jesse – into it. Both had learned, quite early on in their respective relationships to stay out of it, and just amuse themselves with watching. Mia and Andrew’s 8-month-old son, Alexander loved all the attention he was getting from his family, perfectly content to be passed around from lap to lap as the adults ate.

Later, as Noah and Jesse helped Olivia clear up and Andrew put Alexander down for a nap, Mia and Rafa took a walk along the river; his arm looped through hers. “I've got something for you,” Mia told him.

“Oh?” Rafael tried to play coy but chuckled instead. He was almost seventy now and leaned on Mia as they walked, more than he once had. “I think the package under your arm gave it away, _sirena_.”

“Still trying with the jokes, I see.” She tossed him a smirk.

They stopped walking and he turned to smile at her. “I thought we said no gifts?”

“You did.” She held it out anyway. “It’s not for your anniversary. The timing just worked out that way. I wanted you to see it first.”

Rafael’s eyes narrowed. The light was fading, and his eyesight was not as good as it used to be. “Let’s go to back to the house.” He slipped his hand back through hers and they walked the short distance back to the house.

He took a seat on the old wooden swing that sat in the garden. Mia sat beside him and held her breath as Rafael opened the parcel. There was book nestled within. Rafael pulled the paper away and turned the hard-backed volume over in her hands. He glanced briefly at Mia before reading the title.

_Heartache, Healing and Hope – Life after losing a parent._

“You did it!” His eyes widened as he lay the book in his lap and stared at his young cousin. “ _Sirena_.”

While Noah had followed his mother into law enforcement, Mia had found that her talent lay in the written word. She’d begun writing in high school, as a way to deal with her mother’s death, but hadn’t had anything published until college, when a couple of her poems and short stories were printed in the campus paper. When she’d proudly sent Rafael a copy of the first one, he’d had it framed and hung on the wall in his office at Hogan Place. He read every single one, keeping the magazines in a box in the bottom of his closet.

Her degree was in Psychology and after graduation, she’d gone into counselling, citing a drive to help bereaved children like her. The writing was something she’d continued on the side, but for years she’d talked about sitting down and telling her story. She wanted to use her craft and skill with words, along with her experience as a counsellor, to tell her own story in such a way that it would help others. So there would be hope for kids like her. And here it was. Her first book.

“Open it,” she prompted.

Rafael studied her for a moment before letting his gaze drop to the book again. Slowly, he opened the cover and paged through to the dedication.

_To Mom_   
_For giving me the best start in life._

_And to Raf, Liv and Noah_   
_The three people who showed me that hope can_   
_always be found, even in the darkest of times._

“I love it, _sirena_. And so will Liv.”

“I hope so.” Mia nudged his shoulder with hers. “It’s too late to change it now anyway. It hits the shelves in three weeks.”

“Mia,” he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and she burrowed into him as if she was thirteen again. “You wrote this for you. Not for me, or for Liv or Noah. But for you. If you’re happy with it, that’s all that matters.”

Mia glanced away for a second, before confirming, “I am.” She smiled. “The first few chapters are about Mom and what happened, but the rest of it is us… y’know, our story. Me, you, Liv and Noah and well, I don’t need to tell you about that. You were there.”

Rafael chuckled. “I was. For every wonderful, exciting, terrifying moment.” He stood. “Come on, let’s go show Liv.”

Mia looked nervous for a moment. “You really think she’ll like it?”

“Yes,” Rafael assured. “You know, she's going to want you to sign it. Actually,” he shook her head. “If I know my wife – which I do – she's going to want a copy of her own.”

Mia laughed as she stood. “Yeah. That's why I brought two.” She shoved her hands into the pocket of her jeans. “I really do hope you both like it… I hope I got it… _right_.”

“I’m sure you did,” Rafael assured. “It’s your story, _sirena_. Only you can tell it.”

“It is,” she said. “But then it isn't. It's our story. It’s about all of us, y’know?”

“Then it’s bound to be perfect,” he told her as they slipped through the sliding door. He'd always had faith in her, but this project was such a part of her. He could understand her reticence. She had poured her heart into it. She’d started writing it the summer after they’d lost Lucia and Mickey. Lucia had passed first, Mickey following three months later. Mia had taken it especially hard. They all had, but she'd had so few people in her life that she counted as important, like family. It was the first big loss after that of her mother.

Rafael had taken it hard too. Mia didn’t think her cousin had ever really gotten over that loss. Not even now, some years later. There were moments when he'd tell her something, some story about his childhood or about her mom, and he would catch himself and the sparkle in his eyes would dim. He would go on after a couple of seconds, but the moment was there, and so was the grief.

Lucia’s death had made Mia re-visit the idea of writing her story. No-one was getting any younger and, although her heart broke even thinking about it, Rafael wouldn’t live forever. She knew if she was going to write their story, then she needed to do it before something happened to him. Because he needed to read it. She needed to him to know what he meant to her. That it was his strength that got her through the worst time of her life; that without it she would never have got this far. He’d taken her into his world and allowed her to be a part of it. And, even as it changed and grew – with the addition of Olivia and Noah – she was always welcome. Always wanted.


End file.
